Best Of

Thanks for reaching out here @Penny as that takes a lot of courage and bravery to reach out. I can imagine how things must be for you right now and I bet its super stressful and worrying as well. I hear that you have recently been struggling with relapse and I wanted to say that sometimes it can be okay if you do have a day when you feel like you relapsed because we are human and eventhough we may feel like we are on a good streak and feel bad for relapsing, it shows that we are still human and still trying our absolute best. I can tell that your trying your very best right now and that you do feel guilty. Please dont feel guilty about this because it is okay to feel this way right now. I also hear that you might be going to your doctors to chat about how you've been feeling. I agree with what @shannon_164 mentioned as this sounds like a very good first step to take. It's going to take small baby steps and it may be a long journey but eventually I know you will get there, it's just going to take some time to figure things out. You deserve as much support as you need right now. Im always here if you need anything in the mean time.


Sending hugs,

Amy22

that’s a really good step to take @Penny - i hope that it goes well for you and that you get the support you need and deserve!

i know it can be super hard to share such difficult feelings with people, so just in case it might be helpful for you, childline have a whole page around visiting your doctor - i’ll link it here: https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/bullying-abuse-safety/getting-help/visiting-your-doctor/

i’m really proud of you for taking that step

Hi All,

Hope you are all well!

I am not sure if I posted this in the correct category, apologies in advance.

A couple of days ago I got into my first car accident, to sum it up it was my fault, nobody was injured details were exchanged smoothly etc.

The issue is that I am struggling with forgiving myself, I know people are allowed to make mistakes but I have a tendency of being a perfectionist and the mindset of not being allowed to make mistakes. I have been feeling rather suicidal since the incident and don't really know who to turn to, I have a fear that nobody will take me seriously when I tell them how significantly this incident has impacted me. I keep having panic attacks and replaying the scenario over and over again in my head, because of this I have completely gone off food and not really been able to sleep. I feel like such a failure for making such a stupid mistake. I am quite concerned that I will struggle to get over this and trust myself again.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated and thank you for taking the time to read my post.

My heart hurts so much that I feel angry, I spend all my time trying to make people happy that I feel lonelier than ever before. I’m not living my life I’m just surviving because ending my life is selfish in my world. I’m tired of the constant battle in my head but I can’t tell anyone because I’ll be seen as even more of a disappointment than I already am. I can’t tell anyone in detail what bothers me because that’s being a burden. Nothing I do is good enough for anyone. I grew up knowing everything that went wrong was my fault, born a walking curse. Everyone left me growing up, everyone walked away but I don’t blame them I’ve been trying to run away from myself since I was 11. My brain is going to win and I can’t stop that it is what it is at this point.

I’m not coping….just surviving

Hi @Penny ,

Thank you so much for your courage in reaching out to us like this. We as a Community are here for you.

What you describe sounds serious, and we care a lot about your safety. I am going to Direct Message you to check in more fully.