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hey @TheNightmare 🙂

that sounds really tough. i can tell how much everything is weighing on you, and i’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. it sounds like you’re carrying a lot all at once, work stress, personal worries, sleep struggles, and it makes total sense that it’s overwhelming.

i know it probably doesn’t help much to hear, but you haven’t failed. you are trying, even when it feels like you’re going in circles, and that counts for something. volunteering might not be what you wanted, but you’re still showing up and doing something productive, which isn’t easy when you’re feeling low, and yeah, it’s frustrating not getting paid, but i really hope it still opens doors for you in some way.

the job search part is especially rough. the uncertainty, the setbacks, the worry about getting stuck, it’s all so real, and i get why it’s exhausting, but you’re still looking, still pushing forward, and that matters. i truly believe you will find something that works for you, even if it takes longer than it should. i just wish it didn’t have to be such a frustrating process.

the loneliness side of things is hard too. it’s understandable to want someone to share things with, but i get why dating apps and putting yourself out there feels overwhelming. maybe when life feels a little more stable, it’ll be easier to navigate, but in the meantime, i hope you know you’re not as alone as you may feel. i know it’s not the same as having people physically around, but i’m always here to talk.

i hear you about therapy, it’s a big step, and even when you know it could help, actually taking that step is a whole different thing, but if you ever do decide to go for it, i think it could make a difference. you don’t have to do this all on your own.

i don’t have any magic answers, but i just want you to know i see how hard you’re trying, and i believe things will shift for you. it sucks that it’s taking so long, but you’re not stuck forever, and no matter what, you’re not alone in this

Things seem to have gotten a little harder, and no matter what I do, I can't shake the feeling that I'm stuck. Things not going well have felt like one thing after another, and I didn't want to do volunteering months ago. Sometimes I feel like I have failed and failed so much that I had to do it. It is demotivating not getting paid, but it is not the worst where I absolutely dread it. I didn’t have the best days there the other week after being told I can't go on tills, but the last time I went, it was a bit better. I do hope it is beneficial for me still, even though I can't do tills, because I am doing other tasks. I just should be in paid work now and hopefully will get there soon. I do understand there is no rush, but it feels like it is just going to impact me more and more, man. A couple of job opportunities have come up, but it still feels like a cycle of setbacks and worries.

On top of that, personal issues have been weighing on me like witnessing someone have a fit, which left me shaken, and my sleeping problems are still happening. They got better for a while, but now they are back again. Family issues, though small, add to the stress, making everything feel even more overwhelming. I try to wake up between 8 AM and 10 AM to avoid lying in bed all day, but when I struggle to sleep, I find myself feeling exhausted by the time I am supposed to be getting up. That lack of sleep just makes everything harder. The days are slipping by, and I am still not where I want to be with work, which makes it difficult to ignore the constant thoughts circling in my head. No matter how much I try to move forward, I feel like I keep making mistakes and cannot do anything right. Overthinking has become my default, and breaking out of this cycle feels impossible. I know I keep repeating myself, but things feel like they are getting worse instead of improving.

Thinking about getting a job brings a whole new wave of fears. I worry that I will get sacked, that it will be a temporary role and I will end up back at square one, or that I will not even make it through the probationary period. The uncertainty of what comes next is terrifying. I do not want to be stuck in a dead-end job or stuck on a zero-hour contract. I need guaranteed hours to feel like I am making progress, but that just does not seem to be happening. Beyond work, I feel alone. I have no close friends nearby, no partner, and I constantly think about relationships but have no idea where to start. I had planned to wait until life felt more stable, but now I just want someone to share all of this with. The idea of dating apps or events feels overwhelming, but being alone with all these worries is even harder. I know others are struggling too, but I cannot help feeling like I am missing something, like everyone else has it figured out while I am stuck. I remind myself that a lot of people are not working right now, but that does not stop me from worrying about how long I will be in this position. I really hope change is around the corner because sometimes I feel like I am wasting time, even though I am trying my best.

Even with everything weighing on me, I still cannot push myself to get more support, even though I know it might help. I keep telling myself I should sign up for therapy or counseling, but I cannot seem to take that step. Face-to-face support might be the most effective, and I have heard I could get it for free, but I still hold back. My fears feel like they have been proven right all along. Before college, I worried I would not enjoy it, and I did not. I feared I would not find my footing after college, and here I am, still feeling lost. I have spent years worrying about my future, and now, in my twenties, I am still at home, still not working, and feeling stuck. I know I need things to change to break out of this negative cycle. I want to change and will change, but I just do not know when and the pressure is kicking in, as we get further into the year man, I just want to move forward.

shannon_164 wrote: »

hey @TheNightmare 🙂

i hear you. that sounds like such a tough cycle to be stuck in, and i completely understand why you’re feeling this way. even when you have people around, loneliness can still creep in, especially when you’re spending so much time at home and dealing with the stress of job searching. it is exhausting, and when it drags on longer than expected, it’s easy to start feeling stuck or like you’re falling behind.

i just want to remind you that your worth isn’t measured by how quickly you find a job or how “sorted” your life feels right now. i know it’s hard not to compare your journey to others, but everyone moves at their own pace, and setbacks don’t mean failure. they just mean you’re still in the process of getting to where you’re meant to be.

if it helps to know, although i have been working since i was 17 in the industry i wanted to get into, i still don’t have any qualifications higher than my gcse’s, that makes me feel behind, all the people i went to school with are in their final year of uni now qualifying as nurses and everything, while i am still at college trying to get my a-levels! but then i remember, thats ok, my journey is my journey and it doesn’t have to look the same as anybody else’s - i’m at college now and think that it’s maybe even a good thing in some ways as i have allowed myself to realise what was once my dream, it’s now not so im now actually studying the course that i want to do in an area i wouldn’t have ever considered before - so maybe everything happens for a reason?

it is really great that you’re trying to move forward and focus on improving, even when it’s hard. that says a lot about your strength! and even though it might not feel like it right now, you are making progress, just by continuing to show up and push through.

you’re never as alone in this as it might seem, we are all here for you! you’ve got this, i believe in you

@shannon_164 Like every singe one of your replies this means so much, really. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the time and thought you put into your words. It’s like you just know exactly what to say to make things feel a little lighter. I do believe that everything happens for a reason, I think about it myself or at least most things do, even when it’s hard to see in the moment. Your own journey proves that sometimes what feels like a setback is actually just a redirection to something even better. Hearing how you’ve embraced your path and made peace with where you are now is genuinely inspiring. It’s a reminder that things don’t have to go according to plan to still work out in the best way. I’m really going to hold onto that. And honestly, having someone like you believe in me, on top of that the whole of this community, it means more than you know. I wish you the best of luck too and I'm sure you'll do well.

shannon_164 wrote: »

hey @TheNightmare 🙂

firstly, i just want to say that i really admire your resilience. even with all the setbacks and doubts, you’re still pushing forward, still looking for opportunities, and still holding onto the belief that you can build the life you want. that takes SO much strength, even if it doesn’t always feel like it!

i completely get why you feel like you’ve been stuck while others seem to have it all figured out, but the truth is, everyone’s path looks different, and yours isn’t “wrong” just because it hasn’t followed a straight line. what matters is that you are making progress, even if it’s slower or more frustrating than you’d like. every job application, every interview, every attempt, whether it works out or not, is still a step forward.

i know rejection hurts, especially when you’ve put in the effort and tried to stay positive, but being told you weren’t suitable for something does not mean you aren’t capable. it just means that maybe the role or environment wasn’t the right fit, not that you won’t find one that is? and honestly, the fact that you’re still determined after everything shows that you are capable, you just haven’t landed in the right place yet.

it is really great to hear that you’re feeling more like yourself again and that you recognise the support around you. you are absolutely right, sometimes the best thing to do is just take that first step, get into a job (any job), and see where it leads. you don’t need to have everything mapped out right now. what matters is that you keep going, and i have no doubt that you’ll find your way.

if it helps any, my dream was always to be cabin crew, i worked my way into the airport and was there for 3 years, left for 10 months but now back again, however, i’ve now realised that the airport is not where i want to be anymore, my dream is now youth work, something that i would have never ever expected for me! i think the hardest part was maybe accepting that the airport isn’t what i want anymore? since i spent so long with that being my dream and basing my gcses etc of that goal, but i have now accepted that! what i expected my journey to look like and what it has actually looked like is completely different, but that is ok!

remember, no matter what, you’re not alone in this. you have got us who see your effort, believe in you, and are rooting for you, always. you WILL get there one day - i believe in you

@shannon_164 really appreciate this, every other reply and all your support you're so incredible. Like it honestly means a lot. I don’t think I give myself enough credit for keeping at it, but hearing this from you makes me feel like maybe I should. And your own journey just proves how unexpected but worthwhile change can be. It’s reassuring to know that even when things don’t go as planned, they can still lead somewhere good. I’ll try to keep that in mind. And knowing I’ve got people like you rooting for me makes all the difference.

aw @TheNightmare your reply made me teary 🥺 thankyou for a kind msg .

im still very scared to have another operation but its needed the surgeon said im now just waiting for another date but im just trying to remind myself that my mum would be rly proud of myself for doing what i have done the past few months.

thankyou everyone for replying to my thread it means a lot to me your all so incredibly kind & thoughtful and i cant thank you all enough for the kindness you shown to me .

hey @RainbowPenguin 🙂

i’m really sorry the day didn’t go the way you hoped. first of all, you are not pathetic for trying to put yourself out there and do something new. if anything, that takes guts, way more than just sitting back and doing nothing. it sucks that things didn’t go as planned, but it doesn’t mean you’re not capable or that you shouldn’t try again!

i get why you’re feeling embarrassed, but please don’t be so hard on yourself. whether it was a physical issue, a panic attack, or just your body struggling to adjust, it happens, and it doesn’t make you weak, unfit, or a burden. you tried, and that’s something to be proud of, even if it didn’t go perfectly.

as for the people on the hike, i know it must have hurt to feel left behind, especially when you were hoping to connect with them, but maybe they probably just got caught up in their own experience and didn’t realise how you were feeling? that doesn’t make it any less painful, but it does mean that this wasn’t about you being unworthy of friendship. you are not invisible, and you do deserve to have people who notice and care.

if you want to keep easing into hiking or any other activity, maybe something lower-pressure would help, like solo walks at your own pace, or shorter, easier group hikes where you can gradually build up?

lastly, please don’t let that day define you. one tough experience doesn’t mean you’re not capable of making friends or getting into hiking. it just means that day was rough, but there will be other chances! i hope you’re able to be kind to yourself - you’ve got this, i believe in you