Best Of

I've always struggled with worry and self-doubt. It feels like this worry has been with me for as long as I can remember, and sometimes I think it’s just part of who I am. From school to college, I’ve faced a lot of setbacks. I didn’t enjoy college, and once I finished, I was lost, unsure of what to do next. I tried different things, like a training course for a forklift truck, but it didn’t work out. After that, I started applying for jobs, but it's been tough, and a year has passed with no success. I’ve also been on a work programme since November 2023, hoping they would help me find a job, but nothing’s come of it so far.

Throughout all these experiences, I've often had that little voice in my head saying, "What if I fail?" I worry a lot about the future, especially since there’s no clear path after school or college. I’ve watched people around me seem to have smoother paths, going from school to college, getting an apprenticeship, then university, and eventually finding a job, while I’ve struggled to find a direction. My circumstances have made things harder, and I’ve dealt with these feelings of failure, especially when things don’t go well or when I get rejected after interviews. Even when I’ve been positive about new opportunities, things often don’t work out.

Volunteering has been another challenge. I was excited to learn new skills, like working on tills, but after a few weeks, I was told I wasn't suitable. That stung because I had been positive but also had those doubts in the back of my mind about being slow or not good enough. Despite all this, I still want to move forward and make a life for myself. I look at cars, houses, and relationships and feel like there’s no reason why I can’t have these things in the future. Even though things haven’t gone perfectly, I know I’m slowly making progress. I have a couple of options, I’ve got support, and I’m doing the right things. I’ve been working on rebuilding my self-confidence, and I feel more like myself again. I know that the first step is to get a job, any job, and see where it leads. I don’t know exactly what I want, but I need to get moving.

The community here has been a huge help, though. It’s a place where I feel understood and can talk openly about heavier and more personal issues. When things felt at their lowest, the support I’ve received has been essential. Without it, I would have been dealing with everything alone, and that would have made it harder to keep going. Everyone here is so encouraging, and that positivity has helped me push through tough times.

Everyday, I’m constantly obsessing over how I’m never gonna experience love and I base this on how men joke about being attracted to me and never actually having any romantic experiences.

Naturally, this makes me wish I was dead. And it’s on my mind 24/7.

So when I’m on the edge of tears and someone asks if I’m okay, I fucking break down.

Wish I actually knew how not to cry

@eylah helplines plz xx

I had feelings n I notified staff tht I needed help and I asked 4 certain help numbers, they replied with 'u hav the internet'. I felt my head was to busy to do anything . Is tht the right way 4 them to behave n they didn't do a visit to see if I'm alright
Is this gd?

N I lost interest in things, thts do with staff too. I did raise concerns about management to one of the original carers wen it was under a different manager wen I went into where I live atm

Aww it's okay!! Your not silly! Honestly I probably woukd have been the same. Ill be up at 1, 2 am stressing over buses.

Hello all.

I have been struggling with my mood. I have tried body scan mindfulness to bring my attention to the present but my mood has got worse, bringing up negative scenarios and other experiences. They have made me feel very low and overwhelmed. I have worked hard to help myself and am doing the best I can to get through my experience. I recognise that I did well to try mindfulness and challenge my thoughts and acknowledge my effort which can be challenging when we are going through challenging times.

I have been having thoughts that I was sharing experiences with helpline workers and they were correcting me, making me have to justify myself. Their correction came across being critical. I know that the thoughts are untrue. I have had negative experiences with helplines but they have not happened how my thoughts portrayed them. I have felt invalidated when having some past interactions. The thoughts made me see myself in a negative light, leading to feeling judged and isolated.

I anticipated a scenario where my uncle told me the experiences I will encounter as a sensitive person because he has had similar discussions. I got offended and left the restaurant and took a bus home. I was thinking that my uncle would be justifying his words to the family. I know this thought is not accurate either. He is not present so he would not be able to have a discussion with me. I know that it is okay to struggle with my mental health and that being sensitive is a strength because it makes me process situations which have upset me more deeply, leading to greater self awareness of experiences. I recognise that my feelings are valid regardless of how frequently I feel them. However, it is reasonable to worry about how others would be perceiving my sensitivity if they were present when others have focussed on it being problematic. It has made me think I am doing something wrong by being upset, which I know is not true as I have mentioned earlier.

I have been hesitant about who to share my feelings with because I have shared situations with helplines and have often felt worse than I felt before calling them. I know that having some negative experiences does not define all volunteers. I have felt heard a couple of times as well when I have contacted helplines. I know that it is important to call an organisation if I need immediate support but it is natural to worry about continuously having negative experiences with helplines as the events have made feel unsupported.