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Im so sorry to hear you went through that, I've been through a few similar experiences and it truly is such an uncomfortable and terrible experience, so what you're feeling is honestly so valid and understandable. I'm glad that the staff were able to help you through this and deal with the situation well. Honestly after what happened to you feeling defensive and on edge around any man is understandable, and I'm sure that anyone can understand why you feel that way. Truly It very hard from a glance to tell how people are, but everyone should respect your space and your boundaries, and anyone who does not do that is probably not a good person! I hope you're doing a bit better now

i don’t really know how to start this

i guess i feel like i’ve not really had the chance to sit down to think. i’ve been trying to stay distracted but it more feels like i’ve been dissociated for months. i never feel real i always feel like im watching my life.

today has been weird it’s like i can feel all the emotional pain i haven’t been feeling. it feels like a parasite is trying to claw itself out my chest.

it’s weird for me to not be engaging in old behaviours (i used to go missing and be quite high risk). sometimes i want to go back because it felt normal but i fear no one would care anymore.

i feel really alone there’s so much going on and i know there’s people but i feel like they never want to see what it’s like on my level.

ugh idek where to go with this

Fluoxetine was awful for me too. I took a short course of it at 13 cause i was being bullied in school, and i lost all sexual feeling at the point of - well, you know - after a week or two of it. 10 years later, I still haven't gotten any sensation back, not once. GP's say there's no referral pathway on the NHS to sort it so that's that. It's called PSSD. But that point aside, it's a very rare side effect what i had even after i stopped taking it.
You're experiencing the most common side effect right now i think. It might just be an adjustment period for you with this is all i can say, or it might just be a case of burnout which you can still get even when on Fluoxetine.

This is such a thoughtful thing to document and post about, I'm sure it will help a lot of people feel like they're not alone and also get a good idea of what to expect. Thanks for posting @Summerjune15

Travelling with FND and a wheelchair I have functional neurological disorder and I am a ambulatory wheelchair user and I use crutches due to my FND on May the 4th we traveled to Cardiff airport to go to Spain and I was completely freaking out about my wheelchair and my FND and how staff were going to react what was going to happen with my wheelchair etc so I thought I would write about it for people in the same situation who have FND seizures or use a wheelchair my mum booked special assistance and they gave me a hidden disability lanyard and we went to security which I had to be patted down as I can’t walk without my crutches so I just had a pat down but if your able to stand and walk without help for a few moments then you could go through the scanner If you don’t want the pat down the special assistance took us to the airplane and helped us board the plane my wheelchair went with the suitcases under the plane and my crutches went in the head cabinet with our bags staff did see me have seizures but we have all my letters from hospital my diagnosis and fit to fly note and they were happy for me to board the plane but my seizures are non epileptic so I don’t need medical attention but with epilepsy it’s a different situation that I don’t know much about but if you have a epileptic seizure and it lasts for 5 minutes or more that can be serious and you would need medical attention but my situation is different as they functional seizures due to my FND hopes this helps❤️

(It is a bit harder on the other side of the airport because of the lack of understanding and the language barrier)

I'm not really established with a GP and I don't like mine. I feel like they'll whisper about me and judge me. I'm worried about confidentiality with people I don't trust.

I have a therapist. I think she thinks it's part of my PTSD. I asked her about it, if hallucinations can be a part of PTSD and she said yes. I guess i'm a mentally scarred and traumatized individual, unfortunately. Or maybe I'm just weak. Either way, it seems to be getting worse, and i think it’s only a matter of time before I’m discarded. My hallucinations don’t relate to my trauma, though. I’m not sure if that’s relevant or not.

I keep seeing bugs and feeling them on me. I see bugs crawling in my bed. I looked at myself in the mirror one day and bugs were all over my face. I couldn;t do anything but stare like I always do. But I hate mirrors and the mirrors lie, so I cannot trust them in good conscience.

I think no matter how I act, regardless of which direction i go, it'll all lead to the same outcome. I'm tired of waiting and I just want to wake up. It's become increasingly difficult to feel anything whether it be emotions or pain. I seek out the pain because it numbs me. I'm disgusted with myself that the only way I can cope is porn and masturbation. My body hurts.

Unfortunately, it's all inevitable and I'm too pathetic to prevent it. I'm going to relapse at some point. I'm going to give in and numb myself. And then when it's all over, I'll regret it, but the voice in my head will continue to encourage it and i'll do it again. I'm going to cut and I need to accept that, since it's the only way to purify myself of these dirty thoughts and these bugs all over me

@Matthew_04 if I happened to actually have a rectangular body shape, I would feel down but at least I would have an accurate answer, rather than one that keeps changing. And I guess I would have to learn how to love it.

I do believe that our attractions to certain bodies can be heavily influenced by the media. The most popular body shape right now is an hourglass. Obviously you can’t control what you’re attracted to, and I don’t want to force people to be attracted to me. I just feel bad for not meeting that standard.

I 100% agree that there are more important aspects that can build a healthy relationship, this could include:

•sharing similarities/interests whilst not letting their differences fault their relationship

•being comfortable enough to express themselves without judgement

•allowing each other to be vulnerable and greet them with love, support and empathy

•being able to work through conflicts.

But because we are overly exposed to beautiful people in the media, our beauty standards rises higher and higher. Hence, they are considered the most important aspect in a relationship. Although it’s unfair, there’s nothing anyone can do to change that fact.

All I need to do is to continue to work on myself and hope for the best.

I was away on holiday in Spain on the 4th May - 14th May I was at the night entertainment with my family and all of a sudden a man walked towards me and was trying to grab my headphones and grabbing my face trying to kiss me I kept pushing him as hard as I could which was hard with the size of him and I was in my wheelchair my dad got involved and started screaming at him so did my uncle and he backed off but this wasn’t the first incident involving that man my dad witnessed a fight between him and his 2 girlfriends didn’t think much of it but when we were in our hotel rooms getting ready for the night entertainment that’s all we could hear was screaming and shouting and then a girl scream as if she was being hurt we saw the 2 girlfriends at the night entertainment and they looked okay but we still reported it to the staff and then few minutes before he tried touching and kissing me one of the staff was dancing and he grabbed her waist and started swaying back and forth she turned around and you could tell by her face she was thinking what the fuck but the staff member shook his head and said no but he didn’t listen until a minute or two later then that’s when he was grabbing me the manager came and was trying to calm me down but I was going in and out of seizures I was so pissed off with myself because I didn’t do anything I wanted to stand up and knock him out because if he did that to my sister or friend I would of killed him so I grabbed my drink and I was going to throw it on him and throw the wine glass at him too but I didn’t I can’t remember what stopped me but karma hit him straight in the face the next day he had a heat stroke and when everyone else was concerned for him I was laughing and I don’t care if that’s cruel he also got kicked out of the hotel after been seen by medical professionals and his 2 girlfriends got to stay and I laughed so hard I couldn’t breathe thank you karma but then the next day we were out having food for my dads birthday everything was going well until ANOTHER MAN showed up and sat in between me and my mum and he was stroking my back i tensed and pulled away and my mum said she doesn’t like being touched and he said I’m a special person though NO YOUR FUCKING NOT I didn’t even get the opportunity to say no because they didn’t even ask but what 17 year old is going to want a 40 something year old man kissing her or rubbing her back and my body language was VERY CLEAR in both situations but the manager and the staff were AMAZING when I was going in and out of seizures and when I was coming around I kept seeing the man coming closer but I was completely out of it and having a seizure is VERY vulnerable situation anyway but it’s even more vulnerable when you have a man coming towards you that was trying to grab your headphones and kiss you but the situation was dealt with BRILLIANTLY I couldn’t ask for better staff but I hate men they make me feel unsafe and SO uncomfortable and I will be on edge with any man around me how can you tell what’s a good man and the bad ones because I don’t want to be defensive and hateful towards the good ones