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Best Of
Re: diagnosis (TW)
"Sia Miles," The nurse writes down on her computer, "Oh how you've changed."
Sia watches this as the nurse does so, feeling unusually numb despite the fear that she was experiencing the previous few days. It was now the 29th of February, a day that seemed cursed because of Sia's current predicament.
"Let's try this medicine," The nurse says as the CAMHS crisis team come to Sia with the syringe of medicine inside.
"Take this medicine," The assistant psychologist says. Sia narrows her eyes. She assumed that they were trying to sedate her so that the police would come and take her away although it would be the last option.
"No," Sia says, shaking her head.
The nurse realises that Sia didn't take the medicine and tries other medicines. Each time Sia refused it.
(Flashback)
"I'm a good girl, I know I am," Sia says at the bathroom mirror as she tries to cry but just couldn't. She was in the disabled bathroom where it was big and spacious. Obviously everyone overheard her and she exited the bathroom, overhearing how everyone heard her.
"There will be no comfort, there will be no heating, it will be cold and dirty," The nurses were talking about her again. When will it ever stop? If they wanted to send her to a secret government facility, why not do so now?
(Flashforward back to the present)
Eventually, they get to the last possible medication and Sia only takes half a tablet in fear that she would get poisoned or the voices would start again. In fact, they said the medication would cause Sia to hear voices.
"That's not good enough," The nurse says in the background as they write 'school' on the whiteboard. On the whiteboard there was also Sia's name and the number of medication she had tried to take. Furthermore, the nurse also writes, "To be continued..."
She swears that she got deja vu when she wrote that down. First it was with the talk with the two psychiatrists when she got diagnosed. Then it was this. She must've gotten it from a dream somehow.
Later on, the registrar talks to Sia's dad about what happened. She wasn't sure what they were talking about but she presumed that they were gossiping about her. Telling about all of the wrong stuff she did in the past to make her a supposed criminal.
Meanwhile, the CAMHS crisis team were talking about Sia, about how she was faking it all and they wouldn't wish this on a mentally ill person.
"The school has no lifts," One of them says. Sia looks at her kaye walker.
Which school was she going to be sent to?
For the first time in ages, Sia gets some sleep that night in a hospital bed. Her mind was just exhausted from it all. When she woke up, well, she was half asleep, she saw two people. One man and one woman. The woman greeted her and Sia immediately went back to sleep. When she came round she was in that same glass cubicle and the man was sitting right by her bedside.
"Where's my dad?" Sia asks.
"He had to go," The man says. The man and the woman were likely healthcare assistants.
"Why are you here?" Sia asks, confused still.
"I along with (name) are here to look after you," The man says, going on his phone whilst talking.
"Um, okay..." Sia trails off, noticing that it was still night. Sia gets up and paces round to the nurses' station and back to her cubicle to pass the time. No one really seemed to care that much.
"Sia has eight weeks; her mum said. She's lucky," One nurse says. Sia faces the two nurses confused as they talked to each other.
"She'll go by helicopter, right?"
"Maybe by boat. But still, she's lucky."
Sia was confused. Does this mean she's going to a different country? But still, she didn't speak to them about it.
But she was still a criminal. Or at least that's what she thought.
authors note: all of whats happening is sia's psychosis.
Sia watches this as the nurse does so, feeling unusually numb despite the fear that she was experiencing the previous few days. It was now the 29th of February, a day that seemed cursed because of Sia's current predicament.
"Let's try this medicine," The nurse says as the CAMHS crisis team come to Sia with the syringe of medicine inside.
"Take this medicine," The assistant psychologist says. Sia narrows her eyes. She assumed that they were trying to sedate her so that the police would come and take her away although it would be the last option.
"No," Sia says, shaking her head.
The nurse realises that Sia didn't take the medicine and tries other medicines. Each time Sia refused it.
(Flashback)
"I'm a good girl, I know I am," Sia says at the bathroom mirror as she tries to cry but just couldn't. She was in the disabled bathroom where it was big and spacious. Obviously everyone overheard her and she exited the bathroom, overhearing how everyone heard her.
"There will be no comfort, there will be no heating, it will be cold and dirty," The nurses were talking about her again. When will it ever stop? If they wanted to send her to a secret government facility, why not do so now?
(Flashforward back to the present)
Eventually, they get to the last possible medication and Sia only takes half a tablet in fear that she would get poisoned or the voices would start again. In fact, they said the medication would cause Sia to hear voices.
"That's not good enough," The nurse says in the background as they write 'school' on the whiteboard. On the whiteboard there was also Sia's name and the number of medication she had tried to take. Furthermore, the nurse also writes, "To be continued..."
She swears that she got deja vu when she wrote that down. First it was with the talk with the two psychiatrists when she got diagnosed. Then it was this. She must've gotten it from a dream somehow.
Later on, the registrar talks to Sia's dad about what happened. She wasn't sure what they were talking about but she presumed that they were gossiping about her. Telling about all of the wrong stuff she did in the past to make her a supposed criminal.
Meanwhile, the CAMHS crisis team were talking about Sia, about how she was faking it all and they wouldn't wish this on a mentally ill person.
"The school has no lifts," One of them says. Sia looks at her kaye walker.
Which school was she going to be sent to?
For the first time in ages, Sia gets some sleep that night in a hospital bed. Her mind was just exhausted from it all. When she woke up, well, she was half asleep, she saw two people. One man and one woman. The woman greeted her and Sia immediately went back to sleep. When she came round she was in that same glass cubicle and the man was sitting right by her bedside.
"Where's my dad?" Sia asks.
"He had to go," The man says. The man and the woman were likely healthcare assistants.
"Why are you here?" Sia asks, confused still.
"I along with (name) are here to look after you," The man says, going on his phone whilst talking.
"Um, okay..." Sia trails off, noticing that it was still night. Sia gets up and paces round to the nurses' station and back to her cubicle to pass the time. No one really seemed to care that much.
"Sia has eight weeks; her mum said. She's lucky," One nurse says. Sia faces the two nurses confused as they talked to each other.
"She'll go by helicopter, right?"
"Maybe by boat. But still, she's lucky."
Sia was confused. Does this mean she's going to a different country? But still, she didn't speak to them about it.
But she was still a criminal. Or at least that's what she thought.
authors note: all of whats happening is sia's psychosis.
Re: bye gertrude (vent)
@toffuna101 , this feels extreamly powerful - how you have found a way to speak back to gertrude and regain that control.
This part esspecially gave me shivers!
Thank you so much for sharing!
you dont define me
you arent me
and you will never be
me
because no matter what
i will still be me
and i will be free
This part esspecially gave me shivers!
Thank you so much for sharing!

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