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Best Of
Re: Black market weed
I've had a similar experience a couple of times over the past year, stuff that looked and smelled like decent weed but hit way too hard, way too weird. I've smoked for years and know what strong weed feels like, but this was different. Super heavy body load, zoning out completely, heart racing, like I'd smoked something else entirely.
I also started suspecting it might've been mixed with spice or something synthetic. You can't really know what's in street weed anymore, and even if it's not intentionally laced, poor drying, chemical residues, or bad storage can mess you up.
What really helped me was going the medical route. I was hesitant for ages, but honestly, it's been worth it. You get clean, consistent stuff, and you're not guessing anymore. If anyone's curious about what that looks like in the UK, I'd check this integro review out, it gives a good idea of how a legit medical clinic works and what to expect.
Not saying it's for everyone, but for anyone who's been freaked out by random street batches, it might be worth exploring. Better safe than smoking mystery chemicals.
I also started suspecting it might've been mixed with spice or something synthetic. You can't really know what's in street weed anymore, and even if it's not intentionally laced, poor drying, chemical residues, or bad storage can mess you up.
What really helped me was going the medical route. I was hesitant for ages, but honestly, it's been worth it. You get clean, consistent stuff, and you're not guessing anymore. If anyone's curious about what that looks like in the UK, I'd check this integro review out, it gives a good idea of how a legit medical clinic works and what to expect.
Not saying it's for everyone, but for anyone who's been freaked out by random street batches, it might be worth exploring. Better safe than smoking mystery chemicals.

1
i hate my job
hey🙂
sooo i currently work in the airport - every job i’ve had since i was 17 (except for my other job atm) has been in the airport so i’ve now worked there for about 4 years altogether in different roles. i spent about a year working for a ground handling agent which involved checking in, boarding & meeting flights. although we were the ground handling agent for several airlines, i practically lived behind the check in desks of one specific airline lol, this specific airline, they have their own ground team but they are primarily there for the customer experience and just more or less oversee the process and are on hand to deal with any issues etc.
long story short, i left the ground handling agent and joined the airline so i am now just there for the customer experience side of things rather than actually checking in / boarding / meeting flights. i am lucky in terms of i’ve already had experience of being the person actually checking in / boarding / meeting the flights so i know what it’s like etc but i had my own stuff to be doing, all within a very limited time therefore didn’t have time to fully analyse the role of the airlines own staff.
during our training, all they went on about how how you’ll never be alone, you will always have another colleague with you etc and you know what? that is so not the case. i had to wait for a while on my airside pass coming through so was at check in every shift for nearly 2 months. only recently since getting my pass, i’ve been going up to the gates to board and arrivals hall to meet flights. since i worked for the ground handling agent, the whole airport has been getting done up and several changes made eg staff security completely relocated, the ramp layout all changed etc so although i know where all the gates are already for example, i don’t know where all the stands now are, just a rough idea.
the first flight i boarded was with someone really new and from a gate that the airline don’t ever really use so there was no setting up of the gate with our branded stuff so it wasn’t really a proper experience to say the least. i then went up to the gates again for a second time but the flight was already boarded more or less and i wasn’t told / shown anything. i then had an evening arrivals shift, this consists of 2 staff max and no sales desk team / management etc. night 1, i had someone else who ended up having to go and meet a passenger at the aircraft steps so i was left in the arrivals hall alone for part of it, id never ever done arrivals before, so i was so so anxious about that (and the fact there was 7 flights landing within about 30 mins, thats 156-197 people per aircraft, so a LOT). night 2, who was i on shift with? nobody, i was alone. i spent the first 2 hours literally just crying over it. i was so anxious about it to the point i ended up walking through security and not checking the aircraft stand which meant i then had to phone operations and i hate phone calls so that wasn’t ideal either. today, im on shift again, i go in to see i am down to board the first flight, but who with? oh ofc nobody, just myself. i then said to the manager (while on the verge of tears) about how im down to board alone and ive been to the gate basically once before (second time didnt really count?) and she said “you’ll be fine” and i then said “but i’ve been to the gates literally once before” which she told me again i’ll be ok, i said i disagree. she then said about taking me off it then and swapping me with another person (3 experienced people were down to board a flight together…?) so in the end, i said about heading up to gates around 7:10am to find out the manager actually took me off all the flights i was due to board and was keeping me at check in just, which is cool whatever, but how on earth can i be expected to learn anything if they either put me down alone or else remove me from the task:/
idk what to do anymore because the stress and anxiety around the idea of potentially being on shifts alone or just down to do stuff alone etc is getting too much. i don’t feel like there is anyone i can approach about it either after how it went when i tried with my manager earlier. i feel like they’re just kinda expecting me to know stuff i guess since ive worked in the airport before, but that’s really unfair as it was 2 completely different jobs i done.
this probably makes no sense because my brain is tired after a 4am start today lol but thank you for reading
sooo i currently work in the airport - every job i’ve had since i was 17 (except for my other job atm) has been in the airport so i’ve now worked there for about 4 years altogether in different roles. i spent about a year working for a ground handling agent which involved checking in, boarding & meeting flights. although we were the ground handling agent for several airlines, i practically lived behind the check in desks of one specific airline lol, this specific airline, they have their own ground team but they are primarily there for the customer experience and just more or less oversee the process and are on hand to deal with any issues etc.
long story short, i left the ground handling agent and joined the airline so i am now just there for the customer experience side of things rather than actually checking in / boarding / meeting flights. i am lucky in terms of i’ve already had experience of being the person actually checking in / boarding / meeting the flights so i know what it’s like etc but i had my own stuff to be doing, all within a very limited time therefore didn’t have time to fully analyse the role of the airlines own staff.
during our training, all they went on about how how you’ll never be alone, you will always have another colleague with you etc and you know what? that is so not the case. i had to wait for a while on my airside pass coming through so was at check in every shift for nearly 2 months. only recently since getting my pass, i’ve been going up to the gates to board and arrivals hall to meet flights. since i worked for the ground handling agent, the whole airport has been getting done up and several changes made eg staff security completely relocated, the ramp layout all changed etc so although i know where all the gates are already for example, i don’t know where all the stands now are, just a rough idea.
the first flight i boarded was with someone really new and from a gate that the airline don’t ever really use so there was no setting up of the gate with our branded stuff so it wasn’t really a proper experience to say the least. i then went up to the gates again for a second time but the flight was already boarded more or less and i wasn’t told / shown anything. i then had an evening arrivals shift, this consists of 2 staff max and no sales desk team / management etc. night 1, i had someone else who ended up having to go and meet a passenger at the aircraft steps so i was left in the arrivals hall alone for part of it, id never ever done arrivals before, so i was so so anxious about that (and the fact there was 7 flights landing within about 30 mins, thats 156-197 people per aircraft, so a LOT). night 2, who was i on shift with? nobody, i was alone. i spent the first 2 hours literally just crying over it. i was so anxious about it to the point i ended up walking through security and not checking the aircraft stand which meant i then had to phone operations and i hate phone calls so that wasn’t ideal either. today, im on shift again, i go in to see i am down to board the first flight, but who with? oh ofc nobody, just myself. i then said to the manager (while on the verge of tears) about how im down to board alone and ive been to the gate basically once before (second time didnt really count?) and she said “you’ll be fine” and i then said “but i’ve been to the gates literally once before” which she told me again i’ll be ok, i said i disagree. she then said about taking me off it then and swapping me with another person (3 experienced people were down to board a flight together…?) so in the end, i said about heading up to gates around 7:10am to find out the manager actually took me off all the flights i was due to board and was keeping me at check in just, which is cool whatever, but how on earth can i be expected to learn anything if they either put me down alone or else remove me from the task:/
idk what to do anymore because the stress and anxiety around the idea of potentially being on shifts alone or just down to do stuff alone etc is getting too much. i don’t feel like there is anyone i can approach about it either after how it went when i tried with my manager earlier. i feel like they’re just kinda expecting me to know stuff i guess since ive worked in the airport before, but that’s really unfair as it was 2 completely different jobs i done.
this probably makes no sense because my brain is tired after a 4am start today lol but thank you for reading

Re: Wheelchair
@Sian321 Hey I’m good thank you it is hard and I get upset because I feel like I owe them a explanation and I’m worried about what they are thinking and yes my chair does keep me safe I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a seizure on crutches and have hurt myself especially my arms as I don’t have time to take the crutches off and sit down I only get warning signs a few seconds before the seizure starts most of the time I don’t even know when I’m going to have one I could be having a conversation and just drop to the floor and It was horrible to wake up on the pavement with people swarming around me as it takes me a bit of time to come back around after a seizure and I have seen such a difference to people reacting to me having a seizure in my wheelchair no panics and it’s a-lot better this way not just for me but for others to because I bet it’s really scary for them to witness it I would be terrified when I saw the videos on my mums phone of me having a seizure (she was recording them for the neurologist) it was scary so me being in a wheelchair is safe for me and it’s better for the others around me
Don’t know what I got myself into😆
So for my last media unit we have to do a poster or trailer of our chosen idea and uhmmmm I had the craziest idea to dress up as cruella de vill 😂 (big regret) so I bought a costume

My friend is letting me borrow bright red boots. I’m also doing make up and after elimination from a friend this one was picked
I just need face paint and a miracle that I don’t look like shrek by the end or stuck with the make up on 😂😂
So scared for this hahaha


My friend is letting me borrow bright red boots. I’m also doing make up and after elimination from a friend this one was picked

I just need face paint and a miracle that I don’t look like shrek by the end or stuck with the make up on 😂😂
So scared for this hahaha

4
Feel embarrased, yet I'm the one making a fool of myself.
Title says it, I feel embarrased of myself yet it's me making a fool of myself and embarrassing myself.
- I'll say things bluntly, no filter yet feel embarrased for being rude/saying it! .
- I'll feel embarrased of myself yet I'm the one rocking around, sleeping on the desk, pacing up and down dur so of course then people notice me more.
- I'll feel exposed and yet I'm the obe who will theb share too much info, eg saying at volubteering aloud i cant cope with this Ie: sending my support needs profile to my manager.
Is my autism just an excuse maybe its made up, that'd why I was diagnosed so late.
- I'll say things bluntly, no filter yet feel embarrased for being rude/saying it! .
- I'll feel embarrased of myself yet I'm the one rocking around, sleeping on the desk, pacing up and down dur so of course then people notice me more.
- I'll feel exposed and yet I'm the obe who will theb share too much info, eg saying at volubteering aloud i cant cope with this Ie: sending my support needs profile to my manager.
Is my autism just an excuse maybe its made up, that'd why I was diagnosed so late.
Re: Autism poem
This poem is beautiful and well written too. It definitely depicts the autism experience very well and I could see myself in this poem.

1
did it again
did it again reading blueberry tf fanfic and turning the refresh and power off button together again on my laptop 


4
Re: 👀 📚 I may or may not be writing a novel 👀 📚
Hi @Amy22! Thank you for sharing this, it sounds like an interesting concept. Would love to see where you end up taking this idea. How are you getting on with the writing process? Curious to hear what the other members think and suggestions they might have to help!

1
Re: Mental health short stories 2025
I am going to miss you lots on here. I have read a lot of your stories and I find them beautifully written, you have a lovely way with words and I can see a person who uses writing as a way of getting how they feel onto the page and to escape their thoughts, this is what I'm hearing from these stories. I'm glad your being honest in a way about how you feel and I can tell you are being authentic and feel like you need time away from here, which I totally understand and respect, because ultimately it is your own choice and how you feel in the moment.
I hear that you have been struggling with inner thoughts lately and that internal battle feels hard to win over. That must be quite difficulty for you right now and also tiring to have lots of internal clutter inside. I know this may probably come across as cheesy what I write but sometimes when we feel like we lost our inner battles, I still believe sometimes there is still a glimmer of light in there amid the darkness. Life can be a big long tunnel if darkness and sometimes its hard to find that light. Find the things that bring you joy is what I'm saying and the things that don't bring you joy you don't need in a way. As someone who also struggles with an internal battle, I tend to try and find small things that bring me joy in the moment.
You have been such a lovely person to meet and know on here. I know you are leaving properly this time but I just want to echo that if you still need support in the meantime I am always here and up for a chat and to lend a listening ear. Never feel like you have to face this battle alone eventhough it may feel like it at times and I'd get that a lot actually. You know where I am if you need anything.
All the best,
Sending hugs,
Amy22
Hi @Amy22 i appreciate your response and the thought behind it. i do use writing as a way to get out how i feel about everything and to try and escape (doesnt work always though).
I get what your saying about finding the little pieces of joy in my life but they dont come round - its like once in a blue moon type thing.
Thank you for the offer of being there if i want a chat, i really do appreciate it.
Re: CEDT assessment 😬
Hi @Sian321
I haven't been doing great at all over the last few weeks but hayho I'm ✨️Thriving ✨️🫠
Yeah leading up to it it was alot of anxiety just coz it was different to all the rest of the assessments I've had. Just going and finding a private space I could have the assessment in was enough to worry about.
The first wellbeing call hasn't happened yet if it's from when my assessment was it would be expected the 1st week of June but idk.
I dint have any questions about DBT yet.
I haven't been doing great at all over the last few weeks but hayho I'm ✨️Thriving ✨️🫠
Yeah leading up to it it was alot of anxiety just coz it was different to all the rest of the assessments I've had. Just going and finding a private space I could have the assessment in was enough to worry about.
yeah he did breifly look at the feelings leading up to the assessment. We focused on my general feelings and what I feel, as well as my relationships particularly the trust part. I did start to withdraw at that point when he wanted to talk about the recentness of each of these things, good thing was we didn't talk too much about it.You mentioned how the assessor look time to explore your feelings leading up to the assessment, spoke with you about your family dynamics, and explored your relationships and the theme of trust too. I hear also that they asked about your experience with suicidal feelings and self-harm, and during this part of the appointment you could feel yourself starting to withdraw and become fidgetty. That is so valid, Lottie, and it sounds hard.
Yeah so it would be 48 weeks in total on a 24 week rolling schedule with the wellbeing checks happening every 6 weeks till I get the support of therapy etc.I see that the assessor then let you know that the team had felt a 24 week course of DBT may be helpful, including 1:1 and group therapy, as well as wellbeing checks each 6 weeks.
The first wellbeing call hasn't happened yet if it's from when my assessment was it would be expected the 1st week of June but idk.
I dint have any questions about DBT yet.
well day to day is very hit and miss. But majority of the time has been a struggle as of lately but that doesnt matterHow have things been feeling more lately day-to-day?