Best Of

@DonnerKebab im just going to head to bed bc if I stay up I'll be exhausted in the morning and thats that last thing I need. Good night. If you want to say anything please do I'll read/respond to it in the morning

@DonnerKebab it's not always ike that sometimes my brain gets overwhelmed and clocks out and it's annoying as hell like that smallest thing can happen and my brain is like screw this and shuts down thats basically when I start disassociating or feeling dizzy (it happened today in maths bc i got the answer to a simple question wrong infront of the whole class and felt stupid and had a whole spiral over it)

@DonnerKebab i feel awful like that sense of impending doom awful bc it just hit me i have 2 years i have 4 subjects (well ones potentially just an AS level) I cant get anything below a B in any of them im already behind its been a week im already struggling how am I going to get thru 2 years how I am gonna stay on top of everything I have a plan and everything but what do I do if I physically cant follow it what do I do when my body and brain just completly shut down. Im so screwed. Im spiraling.

@DonnerKebab this might sound weird but like sometimes I miss my maths teacher. Like yeah he was a messed up person but he was also a trusted adult maybe not the best place to put my trust but he did a lot to help me and I think if it weren't for him my mental health would be a lot worse than it is now. All that being said he is a disgusting person and the lowest of the low but I miss th version of him I knew and saw. Lately ive been having the nightmares abt him again. Idk I just wish I had the support he used to give idk is that messed up?

Cutelivejazz wrote: »

@DonnerKebab ive got that awful feeling again where I feel like i cant breathe and im drowning which is just so fun I feel like there's this tightness around my chest and it's making it hard to breathe even tho im breathing fine

@Cutelivejazz there isn't much i can say that might make this better for you, but i want you to know that this moment, though extremely difficult for you, is temporary and will pass in time. Anxiety has a way of impacting us physically and is always a struggle to overcome. You've managed it before, and your doing incredibly well handling it again. You are safe right now, you are among friends, take as long as you need.

@DonnerKebab im kinda anxious to fall asleep bc if I fall asleep it will be tmr and I'll have to go to school and I dont want to go to school. Don't get me wrong I'm really enjoying my lessons like we have a practical for physics tmr which im super excited abt but like the workload is huge like I read thru the tips you mentioned like the pomodoro technique and ive tried it before but it didnt really work out for me sometimes my brain is just so overstimulated and so overloaded and overwhelmed I cant rly focus

Cutelivejazz wrote: »

@DonnerKebab ik it was rly random but yeah welcome to my world. Abt the whole friend thing ig your right it's is for the better bc she won't be pulling me down but tbh I was like oh ill make new friends and things will be so much better and I'll find a study buddy. Yeah no none of that happened so it kinda feels like my dreams were crushed

@Cutelivejazz that does sound pretty crushing, but it is important to be able to possibly handle things solo in future from time to time. And also remember that it is still very early in the year. There is still group projects i'm guessing later down the line, randomly selected teamwork group tasks, and many future chances to make new friends down the line, even if things aren't so great on that front right now. So don't give up hope just yet. You have to hold on to hope until that better time. That dream isn't over until you say it is.

Cutelivejazz wrote: »

@DonnerKebab it's a fantasy book it's basically about the Starless Sea where all books a preserved it's really good id 100% recommend it the author is so good her name is Erin Morganstern she is such an amazing author like the way she writes is so captivating but she only has 2 books this one The Starless Sea and then another one The Night Circus

@Cutelivejazz Quality over quantity always makes the best authors. I'll add her books to my read list. Thanks for the recommendations.

@DonnerKebab ive got that awful feeling again where I feel like i cant breathe and im drowning which is just so fun I feel like there's this tightness around my chest and it's making it hard to breathe even tho im breathing fine

@DonnerKebab it's a fantasy book it's basically about the Starless Sea where all books a preserved it's really good id 100% recommend it the author is so good her name is Erin Morganstern she is such an amazing author like the way she writes is so captivating but she only has 2 books this one The Starless Sea and then another one The Night Circus