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Best Of
Re: The poem spot
(TW SI)
(probably don't read if ur emotional)
(everything's ok, there just the words I happened to type)
...
I could just die,
A thought that’s been with me,
My whole damn life,
But then,
I won’t ever feel pride,
For how far,
I might thrive,
Or show how much,
I have truly survived,
It’s just…
Sometimes,
Like tonight,
When it hurts to much to cry,
When the numbness,
Aches, with such demise
I just want to curl up,
And pretend,
I’ve never been alive,
It’s like…
I’m getting my mothers eyes,
And the silent pain they cried,
TW - DV
I should have just let it be,
And maybe,
Just maybe,
She was looking out for me.
(probably don't read if ur emotional)
(everything's ok, there just the words I happened to type)
...
I could just die,
A thought that’s been with me,
My whole damn life,
But then,
I won’t ever feel pride,
For how far,
I might thrive,
Or show how much,
I have truly survived,
It’s just…
Sometimes,
Like tonight,
When it hurts to much to cry,
When the numbness,
Aches, with such demise
I just want to curl up,
And pretend,
I’ve never been alive,
It’s like…
I’m getting my mothers eyes,
And the silent pain they cried,
TW - DV
Maybe…
She was right,
To press that knife,
Against my throat that night,
Maybe…She was right,
To press that knife,
Against my throat that night,
I should have just let it be,
And maybe,
Just maybe,
She was looking out for me.
Re: The poem spot
It'll be ok (TW Abuse, si)
TW - DV
It’ll be ok,
Even if my mother says,
She doesn’t want to live anymore,
It’ll be ok,
As the nightmares,
Drive me to self destructive thoughts,
TW - Abuse
It’ll be ok,
Moving country,
To stay with a lady,
I’ve only visited,
A handful of times before,
It’ll be ok,
As I scrape by the days,
Wondering,
What it’s all for,
It’ll be ok,
As I feel more alone then ever,
Crumbling to the floor
It’ll be ok,
Even if I can’t take it anymore,
It’ll be ok,
As I move away,
To train,
For a career in war,
It’ll be ok,
When I need to move back home,
Because I’m not strong enough anymore,
It’ll be ok,
As I drag myself around,
Looking for work,
It’ll be ok,
When that man,
Violates the law,
It’ll be ok,
As I try once more,
It’ll be ok,
As I keep drowning,
In this darkness,
Fighting,
To be something more,
And maybe,
One day,
It really will be ok,
But I doubt life,
Ever stops being cruel,
In so many ways.
TW - DV
It’ll be ok,
I tell myself,
As my mother batters down the door,
It’ll be ok,
As my sister,
Screams like murder,
From being beaten to the floor,
I tell myself,
As my mother batters down the door,
It’ll be ok,
As my sister,
Screams like murder,
From being beaten to the floor,
It’ll be ok,
Even if my mother says,
She doesn’t want to live anymore,
It’ll be ok,
As the nightmares,
Drive me to self destructive thoughts,
TW - Abuse
It’ll be ok,
As the bullies,
Beat me and walk away,
It’ll be ok,
As my mother,
Aims for the barriers,
On the motorway,
As the bullies,
Beat me and walk away,
It’ll be ok,
As my mother,
Aims for the barriers,
On the motorway,
It’ll be ok,
Moving country,
To stay with a lady,
I’ve only visited,
A handful of times before,
It’ll be ok,
As I scrape by the days,
Wondering,
What it’s all for,
It’ll be ok,
As I feel more alone then ever,
Crumbling to the floor
It’ll be ok,
Even if I can’t take it anymore,
It’ll be ok,
As I move away,
To train,
For a career in war,
It’ll be ok,
When I need to move back home,
Because I’m not strong enough anymore,
It’ll be ok,
As I drag myself around,
Looking for work,
It’ll be ok,
When that man,
Violates the law,
It’ll be ok,
As I try once more,
It’ll be ok,
As I keep drowning,
In this darkness,
Fighting,
To be something more,
And maybe,
One day,
It really will be ok,
But I doubt life,
Ever stops being cruel,
In so many ways.
Re: Visitors during the day
Coming from a fellow late riser/night owl who has tried for years to change this habit, I hear you. It feels lazy doesn’t it. I could sleep till 12 if I let myself but I don’t because that’s just wasting the day (at least to me). But I don’t think people are judging as much as you might think they are. Especially people who are there to do a job, most of them are just focused on the task at hand (we also had the window cleaner here this morning at around 10).
Visitors during the day
I was planning to talk about this, and then the window cleaner came again this morning. The other week, the window cleaner came to clean all the windows, and I was still in bed, so I had to get up because I felt like it looked bad for people to be working while I was just in bed. When the window cleaner came, I just opened the blinds to show I was up because if they were closed, it probably looked like I was still in bed. The same thing happened earlier this morning just as I was planning to talk about this.
I feel that staying in bed until late isn’t normal, but I have been getting up late for a long time. To be fair, it could have been a spare room, but it can still give the impression that I’m in bed. I’ve been sometimes getting up around 11 AM for a long time, and I know this isn’t a good habit. I’m trying to change it, and I do sometimes have appointments that require me to get up earlier. I also have my placement, but it’s only one day a week. We used to have builders around, and sometimes I would still be in bed, and I used to feel really embarrassed about it. It’s just hard when you’re out of work because you don’t have much to get up for. I also feel like it looks bad to visitors when I’m still in bed so late in the day. I know I shouldn’t worry about what people think, and I’m not a judgmental person or trying to be, but I do worry about what people think of me. Unfortunately, I feel like a lot of people are judgmental.
I feel that staying in bed until late isn’t normal, but I have been getting up late for a long time. To be fair, it could have been a spare room, but it can still give the impression that I’m in bed. I’ve been sometimes getting up around 11 AM for a long time, and I know this isn’t a good habit. I’m trying to change it, and I do sometimes have appointments that require me to get up earlier. I also have my placement, but it’s only one day a week. We used to have builders around, and sometimes I would still be in bed, and I used to feel really embarrassed about it. It’s just hard when you’re out of work because you don’t have much to get up for. I also feel like it looks bad to visitors when I’m still in bed so late in the day. I know I shouldn’t worry about what people think, and I’m not a judgmental person or trying to be, but I do worry about what people think of me. Unfortunately, I feel like a lot of people are judgmental.
having a rly hard day 💔
woke up crying bc everything seems like how it was before i came into hospital. i just want to discharge myself from everything and everyone bc i am just wasting their time they have much more poorly ppl to care for. im a waste of space i rly am i just want to be happy. but seems like i never will 💔 i cant stop crying i hate myself i hate everything. i just take up so much space and idk how to even get my feelings out. i feel so much pain inside my heart it feels like it’s tearing apart bc i been crying so much. 💔 i just want to be better bc i can’t live like this. i am so tired and i am feeling so much mental pain inside my heart it kills. sry for a worthless post im just having a rly hard day today and it feels like my world is crumbling down on me like before. im safe btw no suicidal thoughts/plan just venting.
eylah
6
(TW in post) does anyone with suicidal thoughts worry if they’ll go to hell?
TW: I discuss my issues with self harm, suicide and an incident involving a coworker reposting a video including details of sexual violence.
I’m safe but have a history of struggling with suicidal ideation, made plans and failed/gave up one or two attempts.
During moments when I am 100% convinced that I’m gonna end it all, I wonder what will happen if I actually succeed. I’ve been an atheist my whole life, but death really does make me question whether there’s such thing as reincarnation, afterlife, or the worst case scenario, hell.
I’m not a morally good person and I fear I’m definitely going to hell. Despite a lot of people who have commented on how kind, polite and empathetic I am throughout my whole life, I know that if they knew who I truly was, they would absolutely hate me.
I’m a irredeemable person based on how I treat those who have hurt me:
•I hold grudges because I have issues trusting that a person have changed
•When someone has hurt me emotionally, I will take my anger out on them and vent too much to too many people because I want people to know the truth about that person
TW: self harm and sexual assault
I’m safe but have a history of struggling with suicidal ideation, made plans and failed/gave up one or two attempts.
During moments when I am 100% convinced that I’m gonna end it all, I wonder what will happen if I actually succeed. I’ve been an atheist my whole life, but death really does make me question whether there’s such thing as reincarnation, afterlife, or the worst case scenario, hell.
I’m not a morally good person and I fear I’m definitely going to hell. Despite a lot of people who have commented on how kind, polite and empathetic I am throughout my whole life, I know that if they knew who I truly was, they would absolutely hate me.
I’m a irredeemable person based on how I treat those who have hurt me:
•I hold grudges because I have issues trusting that a person have changed
•When someone has hurt me emotionally, I will take my anger out on them and vent too much to too many people because I want people to know the truth about that person
TW: self harm and sexual assault
[ •TW: self harm and sexual assault - a man who made me relapse reposted a TikTok which included details of sexual violence. So I showed his girlfriend the video to make her break up with him]
It’s obvious I’m not a good person. I have the self awareness, but not the strength to change my bitter behaviour, even though I wish I did.
Whether I die from suicide or aging, I’m worried I’m definitely going to hell.
It’s obvious I’m not a good person. I have the self awareness, but not the strength to change my bitter behaviour, even though I wish I did.
Whether I die from suicide or aging, I’m worried I’m definitely going to hell.
Re: positive quotes every day ❤️🩹
my only relief is sleep. when im sleeping im not sad. im not angry. im not scared. im not hurting. and im not lonely. im just nothing
this one i can relate to rn ^
this one i can relate to rn ^
eylah
2
Have I ruined things
I’ve been with my bf a couple of months now. I think he was under the impression my first date ever was with him but I actually met a guy for coffee before that. I only told him this after a few months. Does that make me dishonest? I just felt like it was so insignificant and I didn’t want to make a big deal about it but then I started to feel guilty. It’s like I didn’t mention it initially so I felt to mention it later on would make it seem a bigger deal. Should I explain the delay in mentioning it to him?
I told him the guy was someone from uni but he was from a dating app and I didn’t say this he did actually go to my uni though as well. My bf was asking me about an app and I said I met the coffee guy on it. He said if it was him he would’ve just said because he tells me everything and I feel really guilty. My family had advised me that mentioning the coffee and that it was from an app would ruin my relationship and destroy the trust so I felt scared to say. It’s just I didn’t say in the first place and maybe I have unintentionally got myself into this position. I’m really worried because my family said I’d ruin my relationship if I said anything. Have I done this? Should I explain to my bf why I didn’t say or what do I do?
I told him the guy was someone from uni but he was from a dating app and I didn’t say this he did actually go to my uni though as well. My bf was asking me about an app and I said I met the coffee guy on it. He said if it was him he would’ve just said because he tells me everything and I feel really guilty. My family had advised me that mentioning the coffee and that it was from an app would ruin my relationship and destroy the trust so I felt scared to say. It’s just I didn’t say in the first place and maybe I have unintentionally got myself into this position. I’m really worried because my family said I’d ruin my relationship if I said anything. Have I done this? Should I explain to my bf why I didn’t say or what do I do?
user123
1
Re: Feedback form
@independent_ yeah positive feedback is one of the options but I can add an appreciation section too just leave it with me 
Appreciate these thoughts btw so helpful to hear what you folks want to see on it!
Appreciate these thoughts btw so helpful to hear what you folks want to see on it!
Katie
1