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Re: Safeguarding Q&A 2025 - Ask your questions here!
Question 2: What would class someone as ‘an adult at risk of harm’?
There is a very specific criteria for someone to meet the adult at risk of harm threshold. According to legislation it is an adult who:
1.Is experiencing or is at risk of abuse or neglect,
2. Has needs for care and support (whether or not the authority is meeting any of those needs), and
3. As a result of those needs is unable to protect himself or herself against the abuse or neglect or the risk of it.
What this means is: It is someone who may need assistance (care and support) with aspects of their life, for example,
1. they are paralysed so need a carer to help them with daily living.
2. is less able to protect themselves because of their care needs, so for example the paralysed person is less able to independently go to the police station to report the abuse if they need a carer to take them out in the car; and lastly
3. is at risk of abuse or neglect; so the paralysed person receiving care has a relative who is visiting them regularly and behaving abusively.
Curious about this mostly because I have a disability myself. Not an adult though😅
So if a person meets this threshold, does that mean, if you believe they are at risk you are for sure going to be reporting that on their behalf? Or are there exceptions?
I ask because a physical disability doesn’t always mean the person lacks capacity. From my understanding, capacity is about a persons ability to understand, and weigh up information to make a sensible decision. If someone is reaching out for support on the mix/shout, in theory, doesn’t this automatically demonstrate they have awareness to seek help themselves?
If a person if reaching out to the mix/ shout, the chances are highly likely they have a device which they need to report their situation themselves (if they want to and aren’t in immediate danger)
As a deaf person I personally cannot make phone calls and sometimes need help with day to day things but this doesn’t mean I lack capacity to report my own worries .
Are these general assumptions? Or are these discussed with the young person first. IE. Do you try and gage whether they have a device to report or (idk how to word this😂) do you automatically decide for them?
Curious how this works, because it’s kinda like that tick box question I asked above or is it something you decide as and when it pops up.
No digs either way. I know it’s kind of a tricky one and you have laws to follow. Mostly just curiosity on my side lol
Similar worries as a visually impaired person. I couldn’t get to the police station necessarily unless someone took me, but that’s just because I don’t know how to get there, but I would be perfectly capable of calling 999 or 101 if I had to. There are other ways of reporting that don’t involve showing up at a police station, and even if I could get there, they are a personal trigger for other reasons.
Re: An update from me!❤️
@Maia yay i’m so glad you’ll be on tonight!! i am NOT missing it again lol, i know it’s friday but have my alarm set too to remind me it’s friday🤣
Worthless (TW for suicidal thoughts, mention of bullying)
I feel so absolutely worthless and insignificant. Everything is just made worse by me existing. I create extra work at uni because I need support, I’m a shit friend, a shit daughter and my sister hates me more than anyone in the world. I feel like everyone would be a lot happier if I didn’t exist.
At home people are horrible to me for no reason. My sister can’t stand my existence and I fucking hate it. She’s a lot younger than me but she’s the dominant one and she walks all over me. She reminds me of my childhood bully and it sets off my nightmares.
But at uni I don’t matter to anyone, I don’t belong and sometimes I go days without speaking to anyone.
I just feel like I don’t matter at all. I’m safe.
At home people are horrible to me for no reason. My sister can’t stand my existence and I fucking hate it. She’s a lot younger than me but she’s the dominant one and she walks all over me. She reminds me of my childhood bully and it sets off my nightmares.
But at uni I don’t matter to anyone, I don’t belong and sometimes I go days without speaking to anyone.
I just feel like I don’t matter at all. I’m safe.
Re: (TW - Self-Harm) Flow Neuroscience headset
Thank you
So I had my wound change today in Nottingham and on train home
I was saying how it still hurts and that I feel I can’t walk as probably as before or fast and said some of it will still hurt but it might also because of....
TW - SH
she just went round the houses with it saying I’ll need to see occupational therapist so basically could be permanent? Otherwise would of said no then explained?
Some of it has failed but it’s not massively failed and could of been due to underlying infection
So I had my wound change today in Nottingham and on train home
I was saying how it still hurts and that I feel I can’t walk as probably as before or fast and said some of it will still hurt but it might also because of....
TW - SH
scar tissue cause of my previous injury / self harm there before. so it can feel harder to walk with the tissue tightening and so I asked if that’s permanent
she just went round the houses with it saying I’ll need to see occupational therapist so basically could be permanent? Otherwise would of said no then explained?
But I’m guessing if I take care of it like make sure doesn’t get tight and massage it, it won’t get too tight. But I hate touching it. It feels gross and sensitive 😭🤢
Some of it has failed but it’s not massively failed and could of been due to underlying infection
Siena
2
Re: An update from me!❤️
Y'all!!!
[emotional michael scott]
Promise to reply to you all before I leave.
See you tonight! 😊
[emotional michael scott]
Promise to reply to you all before I leave.
See you tonight! 😊
Maia
5
Re: having a low moment
shannon_164 wrote: »you really don’t deserve any of this @eylah but you’re so so strong and will get through this, no matter what life throws at you, you always keep going and still try and help everyone else too - you’re such an amazing person, you’ve got this, i believe in you🩷
i have no choice but to keep going but thankyou for the kind words
Hi @eylah , ah yesterday sounds so painful
You miss your mum so terribly right now, and just wish to have her back, I hear you. Grief can be gut-wrenching sometimes. And it's valid to feel mad at just how cruel life can be. It is so non-sensicle how we lose the people we love. And so deeply unfair. I hope you can allow yourself to feel whatever's coming up for you - anger, rage, love for her. Because every part of your grief is valid and important.
I wonder where you are able to talk about your mum with others? Is that possible with your current nurses and support? How does it feel to talk about her?
Sending hugs Eylah and we're all here for you. We've got you back
sounds rly daft but gonna put this in a spoiler and add a tw grief ashes
mum was next to my bed at home and i rly miss not hugging her ashes at night. that makes me better hugging her but not having that is rly whats affecting me 
. but i rly appreciate your support sian
i have noone to talk to mum with tbh i think if i had someone i would talk to them but i don’t so it is hard for me to open up to ppl bc idk im just sad bc yes she passed in september im still kicking myself bc what ifs keep popping up. what if i helped her more what if i put her first instead of myself etc. so many what ifs. thankyou . but i rly appreciate your support sian 
eylah
3
Re: Went doctors this morning
so proud of you for going & im so pleased that she was supportive. you deserve to be supported and to be treated with support & kindness so im rly glad you got listened to. proud of you rose
eylah
2
Re: Went doctors this morning
aw @Rose113 im so happy to hear that she was patient and understanding of you!! proud of you for going🩷
Went doctors this morning
So I went to the doctors this morning for my mental health and surprisingly it went really well, I let mum come in with me as I was really anxious.
The lady was so kind and patient with me, she started with saying she will let me say anything I want and that she won’t ask lots of questions so I looked at mum and I was like “idk what to say” and the lady said that’s okay this is your space to share anything. She was really understanding and she spoke to me for 30 minutes, she unpicked my brain and she said I have a really over reactive brain which she isn’t wrong about.
Counselling
then we spoke about counselling and basically because she has read all of my files on the system she has said I’d really benefit from trauma therapy as we had put that down on the triage form because people have suggested it in the past but obviously the doctor has to decide if that’s the best route.
Self harm
We spoke about why I self harm and recent events which I won’t go into but she said my brain likes to look around the problems rather than accept them and think about them. She said it was very smart for a brain but she said it’s what needs sorting because she said over the past 5 years that’s what has been pushing me more and more.
Medication
Then we spoke about medication and she talked through all the ones I could pick from but she explained why she has narrowed it down to those specific ones and basically it’s because she said I do have depression but only like borderline and then she said because of the sleeping issues she could give me one that I take at night which will help me sleep but also stop my mood from decreasing even further
Support
She has booked me into a follow up appointment on 26th February to see her again to have a review and she has booked me in an appointment to speak to the mental health person at the doctors on 6th march so that’s good
Next steps
I think when I go back on the 26th I might go in alone and speak to the doctor about my age regression just like I was going to last week before the shit appointment happened. Although I haven’t fully decided weather or not to do that yet
The lady was so kind and patient with me, she started with saying she will let me say anything I want and that she won’t ask lots of questions so I looked at mum and I was like “idk what to say” and the lady said that’s okay this is your space to share anything. She was really understanding and she spoke to me for 30 minutes, she unpicked my brain and she said I have a really over reactive brain which she isn’t wrong about.
Counselling
then we spoke about counselling and basically because she has read all of my files on the system she has said I’d really benefit from trauma therapy as we had put that down on the triage form because people have suggested it in the past but obviously the doctor has to decide if that’s the best route.
Self harm
We spoke about why I self harm and recent events which I won’t go into but she said my brain likes to look around the problems rather than accept them and think about them. She said it was very smart for a brain but she said it’s what needs sorting because she said over the past 5 years that’s what has been pushing me more and more.
Medication
Then we spoke about medication and she talked through all the ones I could pick from but she explained why she has narrowed it down to those specific ones and basically it’s because she said I do have depression but only like borderline and then she said because of the sleeping issues she could give me one that I take at night which will help me sleep but also stop my mood from decreasing even further
Support
She has booked me into a follow up appointment on 26th February to see her again to have a review and she has booked me in an appointment to speak to the mental health person at the doctors on 6th march so that’s good
Next steps
I think when I go back on the 26th I might go in alone and speak to the doctor about my age regression just like I was going to last week before the shit appointment happened. Although I haven’t fully decided weather or not to do that yet
Rose113
4
Re: Rejection sensitivity dsyphoria and ACTUAL BULLYING (plz offer advice)
Hey @bignosegirly0 i’m so sorry I thought you are going through bullying at the minute. It’s really hard to deal with and we are here if you wanna talk more about what’s been going on. Someone who is also neurodivergent I really relate to this and I just wanted to say that you’re not alone and feeling like this I feel like it’s such a hard thing for everybody but we can really take it personally and I think even like the small things like people making corrections to you And for example example like when I used to do taekwondo I used to take it really personally when somebody said that I was doing something wrong, I think what has helped me has been trying to not ignore what people are saying but kind of go into my little happy place whenever they are saying things I got to me this can be really hard to do but thinking of things that make me happy Normally does help. I also think that having a few like positive affirmations like I am doing the best I can, I’m worthy of self love things like that Have also really helped me, especially when I’m navigating situations where I feel like people are putting me down. Ultimately is definitely really hard to advocate this and I hope this helps even a little bit and I’m thinking of you and we are all here if you wanna chat You’re not alone
