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Re: Could you help us? :)
Also this great website is a blast, you even get achievements if you stay longer it's called Taco Spin!.
https://tacospin.com/
https://tacospin.com/
Amy22
2
Re: Could you help us? :)
Okay, I don't know if this is quite what you're looking for @Leyla , but have you ever heard of the Fish Doorbell Website!? - https://visdeurbel.nl/en/
Its a website that links to a real live-stream of a river with a dam, where you can ring a little bell to let the fish through if you see one at the door. You can find out more here: https://visdeurbel.nl/en/about/.
It's really fun, and such a thrill when you get to help a fish ahaha!
Omg lol thats so cute!. I just checked it out but I accidentally rung the doorbell and there was no fish
so that gate has opened lol. Amy22
1
Re: Worried I’m gonna lose my oldest brother
@Sian321 while I do appreciate your solutions, it unfortunately doesn’t work. Because my dad will never admit hes in the wrong, and he will word things in a certain manner to avoid taking responsibility.
Re: Irrelevant 🙂
Hey @Rose113 , I hear you and it really does sound so hard to feel trapped in this cycle of others depending on you, and not knowing how to create more space for yourself.
While its extreamly hard, the fact that you're acknowledging the way this makes you feel sounds like a positive sign that you are taking even more notice of your own mental health here, and oftentimes that is the first step to things changing.
I wondered if it might feel helpful when you're boundary-setting with these friends to focus the boundary around your own actions - so what you will or won't do if they do not respect the boundary.
I'll share some examples here.....
I realise at the same time, however, that boundaries can be so tough to set and hold, esspecially when you care about the people you're helping and you are worried about them too! It's not easy at all, and that's so much responsbility for you to hold, Rose, and we're here with you to listen entirely without judgement. You are doing the very best you can right now, and there's so much you're having to deal with.
I hear just how deeply you feel that you are burden, and that sounds so painful and lonely Rose. I also know that me saying, 'you're not a burden to us,' might not feel helpful (even though it is absolutely true), because right now, it might feel so hard to believe. And that is valid.
You are allowed to rely on others - as humans, we are social creatures. It's what we do!
And you are so deserving of the same care that you offer others.
Sending you lightness, Rose, and we're all here for you!
While its extreamly hard, the fact that you're acknowledging the way this makes you feel sounds like a positive sign that you are taking even more notice of your own mental health here, and oftentimes that is the first step to things changing.
I wondered if it might feel helpful when you're boundary-setting with these friends to focus the boundary around your own actions - so what you will or won't do if they do not respect the boundary.
I'll share some examples here.....
E.g. rather than saying something like, 'I need you to stop messaging me when you're in a crisis', you could instead try, 'If you continue to message me when you're in a crisis, I will need to turn my phone off so that you can reach out to emergency services instead'.
Or rather than saying, 'I need you to listen to me sometimes also', you could maybe say, 'If our friendship continues to feel one-sided like this, I am going to need to take some space away because its beginning to really impact my mental health'.
Centering the boundary around your own actions allows you to hold onto control of your experience in the situation, and to set a line around what you are and are not willing to tolerate.
Or rather than saying, 'I need you to listen to me sometimes also', you could maybe say, 'If our friendship continues to feel one-sided like this, I am going to need to take some space away because its beginning to really impact my mental health'.
Centering the boundary around your own actions allows you to hold onto control of your experience in the situation, and to set a line around what you are and are not willing to tolerate.
I realise at the same time, however, that boundaries can be so tough to set and hold, esspecially when you care about the people you're helping and you are worried about them too! It's not easy at all, and that's so much responsbility for you to hold, Rose, and we're here with you to listen entirely without judgement. You are doing the very best you can right now, and there's so much you're having to deal with.
I disappoint everyone, either my actions are wrong or anything I say is wrong. Just like opening up, I’ve opened up to people in the past and it’s always offended and upset people and idek what I do wrong. I used to open up to Anna yet I apparently rely on her to much so banned myself so I am well and truly alone lol but it’s all good, I’m always alone hahaha
I am a burden even on here, I’m a burden to everyone. No one wants to deal with me I guess they just HAVE to deal with me yk
I hear just how deeply you feel that you are burden, and that sounds so painful and lonely Rose. I also know that me saying, 'you're not a burden to us,' might not feel helpful (even though it is absolutely true), because right now, it might feel so hard to believe. And that is valid.
You are allowed to rely on others - as humans, we are social creatures. It's what we do!
And you are so deserving of the same care that you offer others.Sending you lightness, Rose, and we're all here for you!
Sian321
1
Re: General chit chat
i just realised that i brought the beige bunny, not the silver one. the silver one only has the giant size available on the official website. and i brought the small beige bunny. its ok, i dont mind what colour it is as long as i get a jellycat.
Re: thoughts on work & college
Hey @shannon_164 , thank you so much for this post. How are you doing today?
Oh gosh, there is so much that you've written here that feels exciting!! Securing that interview (congratulations!), completing the final session ever of your current level youth work qualification!!!, and then finding multiple job roles with your employment support officer too that you might wish to apply for. It feels like you've been doing a huge amount of thinking and exploring these last few weeks, Shannon, and really asking yourself, 'what am I passionate about?', 'what do I really want for my future?'. It feels like a real honour to be able to be here alongside you in this, and please know that each of us are rooting for you every step of the way
At the same time, I'm also hearing you say that there are mixed feelings too - because a part of you worries perhaps whether it might be too soon to leave your job at the aiport, and also, it sounds really hard to have hoped you would really enjoy the new role, but to find out that in actuality its not fulfilling or making you happy. It can take a huge amount of courage to dare to change directions, and if this timing feels right for you, then that sounds really valid, Shannon. What do you imagine it would feel like to leave your airport role?
Something else I'm hearing is that you really want to be mindful of your upcoming sheduele with college too, and it sounds self-caring to be beginning to think about how you can secure a placement that means you don't have to be working 4 days and doing college, to try and give yourself a little bit more breathing room. It really does feel like you've had to juggle so much recently, Shannon, and you deserve space and time to properly rest and recouperate.
Thank you for sharing this too, and that is so valid. Interviews can be really scary sometimes because as you said, they can come with this sense of real pressure and feeling put 'on-the-spot'. It sounds really positive that you're able to remind yourself of your stregnths, and how in other situations conversation does feel more comfortable. What do you imagine you might need to help you feel as confident and supported as possible heading into an interview? I also want to acknowledge that I heard you when you said you're not too sure if this specific role is something you'd want to pursue, and that is also totally okay. Whether you do or do not attend the interview, the decision is entirely yours, and we support you wholeheartedly. You deserve to be able to listen to what feels right for you.
Sending lots of care Shannon, and keep us updated however you wish!
Oh gosh, there is so much that you've written here that feels exciting!! Securing that interview (congratulations!), completing the final session ever of your current level youth work qualification!!!, and then finding multiple job roles with your employment support officer too that you might wish to apply for. It feels like you've been doing a huge amount of thinking and exploring these last few weeks, Shannon, and really asking yourself, 'what am I passionate about?', 'what do I really want for my future?'. It feels like a real honour to be able to be here alongside you in this, and please know that each of us are rooting for you every step of the way
At the same time, I'm also hearing you say that there are mixed feelings too - because a part of you worries perhaps whether it might be too soon to leave your job at the aiport, and also, it sounds really hard to have hoped you would really enjoy the new role, but to find out that in actuality its not fulfilling or making you happy. It can take a huge amount of courage to dare to change directions, and if this timing feels right for you, then that sounds really valid, Shannon. What do you imagine it would feel like to leave your airport role?
Something else I'm hearing is that you really want to be mindful of your upcoming sheduele with college too, and it sounds self-caring to be beginning to think about how you can secure a placement that means you don't have to be working 4 days and doing college, to try and give yourself a little bit more breathing room. It really does feel like you've had to juggle so much recently, Shannon, and you deserve space and time to properly rest and recouperate.
i’m just sooo anxious about interviews though as in that moment i feel so overwhelmed so then it’s kinda like i look like i can’t cope with conversations or something so i would be useless at the job when in reality, i am actually not like that, it’s just the pressure of the interview, so realistically, ill probably screw up the interviews for these jobs:/
Thank you for sharing this too, and that is so valid. Interviews can be really scary sometimes because as you said, they can come with this sense of real pressure and feeling put 'on-the-spot'. It sounds really positive that you're able to remind yourself of your stregnths, and how in other situations conversation does feel more comfortable. What do you imagine you might need to help you feel as confident and supported as possible heading into an interview? I also want to acknowledge that I heard you when you said you're not too sure if this specific role is something you'd want to pursue, and that is also totally okay. Whether you do or do not attend the interview, the decision is entirely yours, and we support you wholeheartedly. You deserve to be able to listen to what feels right for you.
Sending lots of care Shannon, and keep us updated however you wish!
Sian321
1
Re: General chit chat
Lottie5433 wrote: »You must be pleased with how many goals you scored today @Redemption if last week wasn't so good.
Hope you have a relaxing day today and can chill today
@Lottie5433 sorry, I didn't see your message, really appreciate the kind words. Hopefully yh we both have relaxing days ❤️
Re: General chit chat
my package where my fumo plush is in transit. its getting closer and closer each minute.
Re: I need advice
hey @user123 🙂
it sounds like you’re really trying to navigate this situation with a lot of thoughtfulness, and i can see how much you care about both your sister and your boyfriend. from what you’ve said, it does seem like your sister is making an effort, taking pictures of you two and singing karaoke together suggests that, at least outwardly, she’s engaging with him and not completely shutting him out - that seems like a positive sign!
as for whether your boyfriend did anything wrong, from a general perspective, if he was single and not committed to you yet, then technically, he had the freedom to do what he wanted. ghat said, emotions don’t always work in strict “right” or “wrong” terms, your sister might feel protective of you, and her own past experiences could be shaping her views. that doesn’t necessarily mean she’s right, but it might explain why she’s feeling the way she does.
it’s great that you’re trying to take a step back. sometimes, when we overanalyse a situation, we unintentionally make it feel bigger than it is. if your sister is still interacting with your boyfriend in a friendly way, that could mean she’s not holding onto as much resentment as you fear, and maybe it’s something that will just take time rather than being an actual long term issue?
i would say trust what you see rather than what you’re afraid might happen. if your sister was completely shutting him out, that would be one thing, but if she’s engaging with him and not actively causing tension, it might be ok to take things at face value for now. keep an open mind, give it time, and if anything truly concerning comes up, you can always address it then.
you’re doing so well to deal with all this, i’m proud of you
it sounds like you’re really trying to navigate this situation with a lot of thoughtfulness, and i can see how much you care about both your sister and your boyfriend. from what you’ve said, it does seem like your sister is making an effort, taking pictures of you two and singing karaoke together suggests that, at least outwardly, she’s engaging with him and not completely shutting him out - that seems like a positive sign!
as for whether your boyfriend did anything wrong, from a general perspective, if he was single and not committed to you yet, then technically, he had the freedom to do what he wanted. ghat said, emotions don’t always work in strict “right” or “wrong” terms, your sister might feel protective of you, and her own past experiences could be shaping her views. that doesn’t necessarily mean she’s right, but it might explain why she’s feeling the way she does.
it’s great that you’re trying to take a step back. sometimes, when we overanalyse a situation, we unintentionally make it feel bigger than it is. if your sister is still interacting with your boyfriend in a friendly way, that could mean she’s not holding onto as much resentment as you fear, and maybe it’s something that will just take time rather than being an actual long term issue?
i would say trust what you see rather than what you’re afraid might happen. if your sister was completely shutting him out, that would be one thing, but if she’s engaging with him and not actively causing tension, it might be ok to take things at face value for now. keep an open mind, give it time, and if anything truly concerning comes up, you can always address it then.
you’re doing so well to deal with all this, i’m proud of you
