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Hi @Verity it is really tiring and has taken a lot out of me. Like I feel I have to mask in front of my boyfriend’s family because they don’t know exactly how much I struggle with my mental health.
Yeah I guess so, it was stressful at work because I just felt like I had to rush as we had to leave straight after I finished and like I had to go back to my department at work before I left because I left something up there, then had to take my dog to my mums and then stop off at a shop because I can’t do long drives without sugar or energy or something. It all seemed chaotic and with the weather as well it was just too much. Like when we arrived I shouted at my car because it was beeping due to my boyfriend not having his belt on, and then the beeping go louder which was too overstimulating so shouted at my boyfriend to put his belt on and I just felt awful for doing it.

I don’t have a lot of down time for myself till later before bed and I likely won’t sleep much. I just feel like crying still so yeah

I feel I’m not going to enjoy myself much but I guess that’s what I have to pay when I suffer with shocking mental health.

Sorry for the long message I know I didn’t need to write all this

toffuna101 wrote: »

im ok you? @Nemuritai

Aw that's good @toffuna101 honestly I'm having a really tough few weeks but I'll be okay, I've just had to slow down more recently.

im ok you? @Nemuritai

Hey there @Verity, thank you for the reply. I really appreciate being heard. It's difficult to explain but I've had thoughts about not wanting to be here anymore since I was a lot younger, they've kind of been on and off though. Sometimes the thoughts aren't really there or just kind of in the background, but other times like recently they feel louder and more overwhelming. I don't really know why they're there exactly, I suppose things at home have been quite difficult in the past, though I'd rather not go into detail about that right now.

I would absolutely go to the support and general chats if it were possible, however due to having parental controls on my device I'm not able to. I will however try to use the support threads here when I can, and being able to chat on the boards has been so helpful as well.

I was able to talk to samaritans this evening via webchat which was scary but I'm proud that I managed to. Even if it can't fix things it was really good to get things off my chest and offload a bit.

I just wanted to let everyone here know that I'm really proud of you all, you're all really brave for keeping going, even if it doesn’t feel that way

havent been on here for a while. i hope everyones okay

Just kinda struggling,
I just finished a 4hr drive and I’m shattered and exhausted to a point I want to cry and just yeah but I don’t want to seem rude to my boyfriend’s family that I’m with.
I’m sat in the lodge room on the verge of tears but I don’t want to cry or anything coz I don’t want them to hear.
Hit a mini crisis last night and missed my final counselling session with qwell so idk what to do really.
I’m just struggling and I know I likely will this whole week I’m off and away from work but I don’t want to tell anyone here with me.
Worst of all I wanted to wear a dress tomorrow for this meal we are having and I don’t think the body dysmorphia or eating disorder voice will allow me to