Best Of

Im doing so bad I can barely eat or drink (I think I’m actually losing weight now :<) everything triggers me now, seeing people happy laughing or in groups whether in person or on TV or doing anything I enjoyed now triggers me and sends me into distress and worry and my thoughts are so much worse now because I feel like I will never be the same. This has become a strong habit idk how to break it. Everything reminds me of how numb I feel and my physical issues since the antidepressant I just feel like it’s all permanent and I’ve ruined my life. I feel like I’ve forever lost myself and none of my coping skills can break this cycle of distress. I’m locked into it and can’t see a way out and can’t see life changing. If this one physical issue begins to improve I will probably calm down so much but it’s been almost 7 weeks and I’m still so worried about it not improving. i hate how distressed I can get it makes me want to scream I feel so scared and afraid. I have to see the guy the ambulance reported on Monday I’m so afraid. I feel for my safety I should cancel it, the ambulance crew had the speaker on and the things he said about me and to the ambulance crew is contributing to distress. Idk if I feel safe seeing him with my current headspace if that’s how he might treat me.it’s so hard if I get out of bed I have to face constant distress worry and thoughts and triggers which I can’t escape I’m struggling so much. I’ve paid for a private psychiatrist now I cba to wait I need guidance. I’m having so many intrusive thoughts telling me not to eat when I try and eat idk why I’m getting so many intrusive thoughts.

I’m trying to stay safe. Thank you for checking in, take care sorry this is so long 😓

Hey @Nemuritai , thank you so much for sharing about this. I hear you, and we see you. What would you say has been the toughest part of the last few weeks, if you feel comfortable sharing? No pressure at all to do so if that doesn't feel helpful right now either. We're here to listen whenever you'd like to share.

Slowing down sounds like a really self-caring thing to offer yourself, especially if you're noticing that things have been difficult. What's one of your favourite ways to slow down when things start to feel a bit much. I know for me watching a movie is one of the best ways to help my brain feel quieter, or allowing myself to say 'no' to social plans when I'm a bit overloaded.

We're here for you, and sending care.

@eylah this feels so significant!! What's it like to acknowledge that its been 4 whole months!? How would you say you've been taking care of yourself the last 4 months to make this possible?

Thank you so much for sharing this with us so that we can celebrate with you. We're all sending you a lot of care!

Hey @Nemuritai Thanks for sharing this, I really appreciate you being able to be so open, it takes a lot of strength. That is completely okay that you don't want to go into detail, you are sharing what you feel comfortable sharing and that's amazing.

@Jack25 I'm sorry to hear you had to deal with that Jack, it sounds incredibly stressful, especially when you're already going through so much. You deserve to be treated with respect, I'm glad the concerns were taken seriously, even if the process was difficult, please be gentle with yourself. You are not alone and I'm really glad you reached out and shared what's happening.

@Lottie5433 that sounds really tiring, doing a long drive whilst you are emotionally drained can take so much out of you. It makes complete sense that you would need quiet time to yourself, try to give yourself grace in moments like these, it sounds like you are doing the best you can in a tough situation and you would really benefit from some time to rest after a stressful day and from what you said, you were also struggling last night. I'm wondering if you have ay time coming up to take a proper breather?

Jack25 wrote: »

Kooth called an ambulance because CMHT refused to contact them back, the ambulance contacted CMHT and the coordinator was rude she immediately said I’m reporting this. Somewhat glad to know it’s not just me thinking these people are rude to me. I’m going through such a rough period none of my coping skills are working. My social services referral has been escalated as a safeguarding concern due to my risk.

hey @Jack25 . hru today? just wanted to remind you that. you matter. and that you have us here at the mix that care so much abt you. keep going jack bc you deserve a happy life.

I am safe, sorry I just don't really feel capable of talking right now. I'm just a mess