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It depends @ellie2000, if people offer to help then they clearly want to help. However, sometimes, you might not want help or you might not be in the best place to accept help and that is okay. What is important is that you seek help if you need and want it and know help is available

It is completely okay @JJLemon18 that you knew they would do something afterward but not know what this is or expect it to be the pub with shots. This doesn't mean you have to accept this or feel comfortable about it. Hopefully, resting and taking care of yourself will help - especially with how this week has gone for you. As long as you feel you have done the right thing for yourself, that's all that matters - keep taking care of yourself, and let us know if there's anything we can do to help

@JJLemon18 Well done on going to the bowling! That's a huge achievement even just to be there with others, especially if it was busy. It's great that you felt welcomed as that's a good start! How did you feel about the pub? I'm guessing it felt a bit unexpected if you didn't know about it.

Do you know what it was that made you not enjoy the event? Was it the business? The unexpected plan to go to the pub? Feeling isolated? Overthinking it? The activity? Or just a mix?

It's completely fine if you don't know why, it just might help you figure out what to do in terms of going to these events.

It's great that you're going to keep trying to attend the events, but don't pressure yourself or burn yourself out, I'm sure it took a lot out of you, as you've mentioned struggling to sleep and a sore throat. I would see if you could rest a couple of days and do something you enjoy, even something small like rewarding yourself with a food you like, or watching a show, listening to music etc.

You also don't have to attend every society event that happens just for the sake of going as this might cause more dread than you would want, so go at your own pace. It's also fine if you change your mind.

If you're finding that forcing yourself too far out of your comfort zone is too distressing, then maybe take a break for a while or try to break it down into smaller steps. It's good to push yourself, but not so far that it ends up becoming more damaging. If we get highly stressed frequently, this can actually have physiological changes (often temporary, like your sore throat). This might not apply, but we have something called the vagus nerve, situated just a bit down from the neck, and this can become more sensitive during high periods of stress. There are things that can help regulate it such as vibrations which can be done through products such as humming, or there are products that have been developed which deliver these vibrations to help reduce stress. It might not be for everyone, but it's interesting to know about.

I've attached some articles explaining it a bit better than I can here:

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-does-the-vagus-nerve-do/#:~:text=Your%20vagus%20nerve%20helps%20disengage,can%20wear%20out%20your%20body.

https://verywellmind.com/how-stress-affects-the-vagus-nerve-6740155

https://forbes.com/sites/womensmedia/2021/04/15/what-the-vagus-nerve-is-and-how-to-stimulate-it-for-better-mental-health/

It's understandable that you're struggling to put this event out of your mind. When something doesn't go to plan or how we would like, it's in our nature to remember these negative aspects as opposed to positive things that have happened, so it's completely natural, although it doesn't make it any less difficult to deal with. I think it's a survival mechanism that now unfortunately often causes more harm than good. It can be useful in scenarios of immanent physical danger such as being chased by a bear for instance as remembering this event helps us remember bears are dangerous and to avoid them. In the modern world this mechanism is sometimes overused in situations where most of the time we aren't in immediate physical danger, such as social settings like presentations (sorry - strange example, but the only one I can think of right now).

I'm not sure whether any of this helps, or is useful to make sense of how you're feeling, but I hope your throat gets better and things look up for you