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Giving up.

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Comments

  • StarlightStarlight Posts: 1,457 Wise Owl
    Please try to get some rest but Ill be up for a while so message me if you need anything! I don't want you to feel alone through this!! Youll never be alone there are so many people out here for you! <3
    * Shine like the star you are! *
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    It's my fault for no replying. I should be the one dead..
  • StarlightStarlight Posts: 1,457 Wise Owl
    No no no, not true, never true! Its not your fault! And no one should be dead, your worth so much! Your life means so much! I know your feeling horrible right now, but it will get better and Im sure it wont be as bad as your brain is making it seem x
    * Shine like the star you are! *
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    I should of replied. I could of kept him safe. I should of just sent a reply back instead of glancing and then carrying on with cooking BBQ. It's my fault. I feel so guilty. I should of replied. As each hour passes I'm really losing hope that he's alive.. nobody can find him, nobody has heard from him.. 
    I don't want him to be gone..
    I should of just fucking replied. Why am I so stupid and selfish😭😭😭😭
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    I can't help but feel so much guilt
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Hoping for better days...
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    I feel so frustrated and fed up and I'm trying to just hide it for the sake of others. I feel like I'm burning out and with everything going on and nobody to talk to, it's exhausting
  • Former MemberFormer Member Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Sending hugs to you :heart:

    So sorry to hear that your struggling, we are all here for you :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    *BananaMonkey* said:
    Sending hugs to you :heart:

    So sorry to hear that your struggling, we are all here for you :heart:

    Thank you. Part of me wants to go back on meds but part of me tells me it just makes me appear weak 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    You wont appear weak for doing something to help your well-being. I've been on meds since 2011, and I wouldn't be without them. You are not weak, in fact it shows strength and bravery to admit you need a little bit of help. No shame in that :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    The people around me are very judgemental about medication and its really hurtful. I just don't know if I'm willing to accept how bad things are again
  • Former MemberFormer Member Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    It is only your decision to go back on meds, and it's your decision who you tell. Nobody has to know if you don't want them too. :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    I guess. I just don't know. Don't want to feel like I'm failing myself. I haven't even managed 6 months. It just feels like failing and I don't want judgement
  • Former MemberFormer Member Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    You gotta do what is best for you, sending hugs :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    *BananaMonkey* said:
    You gotta do what is best for you, sending hugs :heart:

    Thank you. Guess I need to figure that out
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    edited July 2020
    isGreenTea said:
    I should of replied. I could of kept him safe. I should of just sent a reply back instead of glancing and then carrying on with cooking BBQ. It's my fault. I feel so guilty. I should of replied. As each hour passes I'm really losing hope that he's alive.. nobody can find him, nobody has heard from him.. 
    I don't want him to be gone..
    I should of just fucking replied. Why am I so stupid and selfish😭😭😭😭

    Update on this. Unfortunately he passed away. It hit hard and I'm struggling to cope.  I didn't want to say because it hit hard and I do think about it most nights. I've been trying to distract myself because I hold a lot of guilt and blame because I didn't respond when he needed me. I personally want to deal with this alone because I feel like others will blame me too and that anxiety scares me.
    I've been trying to hide how I feel and a lot of my emotions around this. I've been trying to keep busy and hold myself together.
    Thank you to those who reached out and supported me last week with this all. I really appreciate you. 
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