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Giving up.

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    StarlightStarlight Posts: 1,436 Wise Owl
    Im sure nobody hates you, and you are definitely supportive, you have helped me so much these past few days whether you realise it or not and now I here to support you! You deserve so much and I really do hope you can begin to realise how lovely and kind and supportive you are. Youve got this and your going to get through it, and we're all here to hold your hand and support you along the way! <3<3 never forget to ask for help if you ever need it. The strongest thing you could ever do I reach out like you are doing now! If your brave and strong enough to reach out your brave and stong enough to get through this! Come on girl youve got this!!   
    “I got you, moonlight, you're my starlight
    I need you all night, come on, dance with me”

    * Shine like the star you are! *
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    I don't enjoy anything anymore. I feel like a robot.. I wake up..I go to work, I have food at 2pm, I put on a TV show and it just goes in one ear out the other.. I just feel like an absolute waste of space. I'm not happy. 
    Been off meds since February. Can't even last 6 fucking months doing ok. I'm pathetic.
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Sorry. I'm really rude. Should of said thank you..
    So thank you for responding. 
    See I'm horrible..can't even say thank you
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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,617 Legendary Poster
    That doesnt make you horrible, your thoughts are consuming you, I understand that. Really, you are amazing, you've been so supportive to me and to others on here over these past weeks, and I'd like to thank you for that. You're supporting others in one of your hardest times, you're still helping others even if you don't realise it, and that is one of the most admirable things a person can do. 
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    I'm not doing anything to support others.. I'm useless... Sorry..
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    StarlightStarlight Posts: 1,436 Wise Owl
    You dont need to say thank you! Im here to support you because I care about you being safe and alright! You don't need to feel bad your going through a hard time, but that time will not last forever! You will get out the other side and well help guide you there. You have supported so many other people and your so considerate and kind and have mad me feel so welcome to this community but right now its you that were are supporting, its you that needs the support and that's alright because we all need lifting back up every now and again and were always going to be here to pull you back up when times get tough. <3<3
    “I got you, moonlight, you're my starlight
    I need you all night, come on, dance with me”

    * Shine like the star you are! *
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    I feel like a waste of energy for you all. I feel like others need support more
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    StarlightStarlight Posts: 1,436 Wise Owl
    edited June 2020
    No never, everyone deserves support including you!!
    “I got you, moonlight, you're my starlight
    I need you all night, come on, dance with me”

    * Shine like the star you are! *
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    I don't but thank you.
    Just want to disappear.
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    I want to curl up into a ball and just cry
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Urges to hurt myself need to fuck off. Everything needs to just go away
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    I'm just getting worse and worse and I can't get a grip. I'm pathetic and stupid
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Falling apart
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Feeling a little better this afternoon.. still struggling it somewhat feeling a bit of a better headspace
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Spoke to a 1:1 (not here) helped a little bit just to get some really personal stuff off my chest.b
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix

    Theres nothing worse than having to check clothes are long enough ( shorts) to hide SH... :/ im such a disappointment and im overheating. literally feel like passing out at this point

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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Just want to curl up and cry..
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Anyone Around for a chat please?
    No worries if not
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    edited June 2020
    Anyone around?

    Having a really shit evening and just need support please
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    I feel so guilty. He messaged me.  And I didn't respond. Now he could be dead and I didn't do anything.
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    StarlightStarlight Posts: 1,436 Wise Owl
    Hey, sounds like you are really struggling right now but we're all here for you!! Your going to get through this and were here to help you the whole way! <3
    “I got you, moonlight, you're my starlight
    I need you all night, come on, dance with me”

    * Shine like the star you are! *
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    I didn't reply. He might be dead in a Field and it's my fault. I didn't reply.
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    StarlightStarlight Posts: 1,436 Wise Owl
    Im sure its not your fault. I understand this must be very hard for you but its not your fault at all. 
    “I got you, moonlight, you're my starlight
    I need you all night, come on, dance with me”

    * Shine like the star you are! *
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    I keep messaging Hoping for a reply but it's been hours since he did it and hours since anyone heard from him
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    StarlightStarlight Posts: 1,436 Wise Owl
    That sounds really very tough, I can't even imagine what you must be going through right now. Just got to keep your hopes up and wish for the best. Do you have anyone close to you that you could discuss this with. I know you said you've spoken on a 1 to 1 and you said that helped. Please don't blame yourself. Wishing for the best! <3 Were all here behind you! <3
    “I got you, moonlight, you're my starlight
    I need you all night, come on, dance with me”

    * Shine like the star you are! *
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    I don't know how I'll cope if he's dead...we got really close..like flirty and stuff...and I didn't repsond when he needed me most
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    StarlightStarlight Posts: 1,436 Wise Owl
    Please try to not think about that right now. I know our brains always go to the worst situation but you've got to keep hoping. You cant give up hope yet!! Please please don't blame yourself. <3
    “I got you, moonlight, you're my starlight
    I need you all night, come on, dance with me”

    * Shine like the star you are! *
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    He's never gone this long not replying to anyone at all. It's not normal for him.
    Urgh my head is all over the place. I'm struggling myself. Really struggling myself and I'm constantly picking up other people and I don't mind doing it but I completely overwhelming myself
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    StarlightStarlight Posts: 1,436 Wise Owl
    Awwww GreenTea it sounds so hard for you right now. Can't even imagine everything going through your head right now. Is there anything you can do to try and relax a bit? try to calm your thought down a bit? Please try to keep reminding yourself that our brains can often jump to the worst conclusions so its very likely they'll be a different outcome after all of this x
    “I got you, moonlight, you're my starlight
    I need you all night, come on, dance with me”

    * Shine like the star you are! *
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Thank you. I just keep checking for messages or phone calls currently. Looking like a sleepless night
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