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Giving up.

Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
edited June 2020 in Health & Wellbeing

I can't shake this feeling off. I can't shake off this anxiety and feeling so deflated. 
Yet I'm crying for help and it falls on deaths door. Nobody listens or cares. I feel like my voice never matters..I never matter.
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Living the Zen life 🧘🏼‍♀️ Posts: 1,989 Extreme Poster
    @GreenTea I know you are struggling right now so I'm sending virtual hugs <3 
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    edited June 2020
    Doesn't matter.
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 1,997 Extreme Poster
    You matter & we care. I’m so sorry that you are feeling so low tonight 
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    edited June 2020
    Doesn't matter.
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    edited June 2020
    I don't matter. This thread doesn't matter. I give up. I'm useless and better off dead.
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 1,997 Extreme Poster
    I know that you are really really struggling tonight and what I say probably doesn’t mean much right now but I want you to know that you do matter, your feelings matter and this thread matters too. 

    Please don’t give up. 

    Is there anything you can think of which would take your mind off of these negative thoughts? Maybe listening to some music or watching a comedy ?  It’s quite late, maybe you could try and get some rest and see how you feel In the morning ? 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loop Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    Sending you loads of virtual hugs be easy on yourself I know you're really struggling 💖

    Remember the crisis messenger and 1-2-1 chat is still there as well as Samaritans x

    Echoing Liam maybe you can do Something you enjoy? 
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    I don't deserve rest. I don't deserve things I like. 
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Never mind. I don't matter. Sorry I'm a problem
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 1,997 Extreme Poster
    You do matter, you matter to me.

    What makes you feel like you don’t deserve rest and to do the things you enjoy? Everyone deserves those things. You are just as worthy as anyone else 
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    I'm not worthy
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,016 Supreme Poster
    Hiya @GreenTea,

    I can see you’re struggling tonight - that’s ok, it really is ok not to be ok and I’m glad you’re speaking to us.

    I’m sure I speak for all of us when I say we absoultely do care about you and you do matter not only to us, but to everybody in your life. We don’t always express how much we care about others as much as we should, but it is there. Of course it is. 

    Sending you lots and lots and lots of hugs, we are all here. 
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • Former MemberFormer Member Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Hey @GreenTea

    Just want to echo what has been said and let you know that we really do care about you, you don't have to go through anything alone, as a community we really do care :heart:

    Sending hugs :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Just want to curl up and cry. 
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    I'm not good enough. I try to be helpful and protect people and it's not good enough.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,054 Wise Owl
    edited September 18
    Hi @GreenTea

    No matter hard it may be to believe these words when you are feeling this way, I want you to know that you absolutely ARE enough. Just the way you are. You are enough. You are so important. You matter :heart:

    I understand that it can be difficult to believe those words when feeling so low, it really can. But there is support out there, that you truly deserve, and I hope that with that support you can begin to realise just how important you really are.  

    You deserve to be happy, and you deserve to feel safe and supported, always. Would you consider speaking to somebody whilst you are feeling this way - perhaps the crisis messenger or samaritans as @Past User suggested? :heart:
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    I don't feel like I can trust things on a 1:1 basis after some shit another support service pulled on me.. Ive refused and only used public forums since
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 21 Boards Initiate
    Hi @GreenTea

    I'm sorry you're struggling right now, sending love and support. You said earlier that you try to help and protect people and that really struck a cord with me. Listen, everything you do is good enough. I've only been active a few days in this community and I have seen you comment and advise and care and support on so many threads for so many people. And I know every single comment you made mattered to that person. You made them feel listened to, cared for. You made them smile and feel calmer. You are good enough, more than good enough. And you and your every contribution to this world matters so much. 

    Life can be really hard sometimes, but you are not alone and I promise we are listening <3
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    edited September 18
    Thank you @Past User

    I just seem to of sunk and not been able to pull myself up. Feeling a little better today but not enough to say I'm doing ok 
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 21 Boards Initiate
    It's okay @GreenTea you're doing amazing even if it doesnt feel like it. Dark days are terrible places and they can be so so hard to get out of. The fact you're feeling even a little bit better today shows how strong you are <3 small steps and it will be okay again and you will be okay again. We're here for you :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Thank you.

    Another night of no sleep. Another night of crying I'm complete frustration..another night feel like I'm not good enough and I get taken advantage of. Another night of self hate and being hated on by people I thought cared
  • Former MemberFormer Member Moderator Posts: 1,084 Wise Owl
    Hey @GreenTea :heart:

    Sending lots of hugs to you, so sorry to hear you are struggling. We care about you, and we are here for you :heart:

    Not sleeping is so difficult, do you have/do anything to help you relax before you go to sleep? 

    Sending hugs :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    I don't deserve support. 
    I don't deserve it. 
    It's all I'm asking for and I don't deserve i
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,016 Supreme Poster
    Of course you deserve support. You deserve support as much as anyone else, you really do :heart: 
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    I don't deserve support. 
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Igiveup I give up I give up I give up I give up. Let me die and all the problems go away. That's what I am. A problem 
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,016 Supreme Poster
    Sending you lots of hugs, you deserve so much support. It’ll be tough without the circle but there are lots of people who care about you on here :)
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    I'm hated. Everyone hates me and that's why I don't deserve support. Because I'm hated. 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loop Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    Sending all the hugs! Things sound stuff right now remember you can always reach out to Crisis messenger or 1-2-1 you deserve support and we're all here to listen x 
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    I don't trust 1-2-1 services after an incident a few weeks ago. I just don't deserve support and this is the worlds way of telling me
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