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Thats what I mean by all in good time. Tell your tutor you're not ready
I've tried doing work, having a shower, tidying my room, watching tv, but all i can think about is cutting.
What do you guys do to stop yourself?
I used to find something that I could scratch myself with but that wasn't really sharp enough to cut. I'd go over and over the same part of my skin with it - cut words into my legs sometimes - so that it hurt and I could see the results of my efforts (at the time and then each time I got into the shower for about a week) but it didn't leave any real lasting damage. Just like cutting though, you do need to keep the minor wound clean.
If I actually told my tutor what's wrong (I doubt I will, especially after what she said yesterday) does she have some sort of duty/right to tell my parents what's going on?
here I am again.
do you ever get those days when you just feel out of place, like it doesn't matter what you do, you just can't feel satisfied, like theres something missing? I mean I never know where I stand anymore.
hyperperson, sofie, marie and anyone else who posts in here: I hope you all get better. alot of you are a big asset to this place and really appreciate your input.
i hope you feel better soon-i know what you mean-feeling very odd at the moment-hows everyone doing?
Hyper Person - I'm not doing too well, atm. I'm being made to do stuff that I don't really want to do and I'm dreading tomorrow.:(
whats happening tomorrow-sorry if ive missed something in the posts not totally with it-please dont feel forced-it should be your choice-i know what its like to be pressured-it really doesnt help and thats part the reason im in such a mess-you going to be ok?
that is so wrong but yeah ive had a teacher force about my harming out before-its not good but luckily nothing came of it-wish in some ways it had but yeah-she shouldnt force you i mean how old are you because if your over sixteen it would make no difference to her whether she knew or not because she cant really do anything unless your likely to kill yourself-hope your ok
i know how you feel-although when my teacher found out i was 14 so she was meant to tell people but didnt cos i promised i wouldnt do it agian even though id already been doing it for a year-she said she'd arrange support and didnt so three years on and here i am-im not saying you should tell her but maybe it would help to talk to someone who can give you support and help you but only when your ready
Thanks. I know how you feel John, I've managed to completly detach myself from everything at the moment otherwise I wouldnt be coping one little bit. Its bad enough I've slipped up for the first time in a while, and I doubt its going to be a one off. Bollocks.
And remember its just a rough patch.
I've only had one bad reaction, but I think alot of the time people react badly because they don't understand and just jump to conclusions.
please
i want to forget. i don't want people to judge me for my past
make it fucking go away please
:crying:
I just got rather upset last night about my past. It came up into conversation and I just ended up having a mini breakdown Just wish sometimes that it was possible to forget what you've seen and been through. Its always going to be there though. The memories aren't magically going to go away. I just wish someone understood what I've been through tbh and how hard it is to deal with the fact you lost your childhood and you can't get it back (well, I say childhood but I'm talking about when I was 12-17). Nobody who hasn't been through it themselves seems to understand though, they just say "move on and forget about it". Its hard though when I'm constantly reminded of it. I just wish I had a better way of coping and dealing with my past tbh.
I feel physically sick at the thought of being alive this week.
Self-harm used to myself get me through each day. Well, it did for 2 years until a short-sleeved uniform put a stop to it.
So i resorted to starving myself. A year of that and its not enough, im not good enough at it, so i cut underneath an armband aswell. If i eat when i shouldnt i throw it up.
now ive started with drugs.
I have to get to tuesday, doctors appointment booked. Then what? nobody can help me. Im shit at explaining this. They think im ok. I'll pretend to be until its too late.
Im struggling so much, but because i put on a front, nobody realises.
My mum rang me yesterday, and had a go at me. Said im drinking way too much, wasting my money and need to get a job. Pot calling kettle if you ask me.
Thing is, I would like to reduce my drinking and manage my money better, and id like to get a job, but i just can't seem to at the minute. Im struggling to get out of bed in the mornings, never mind working. I know i should, and i feel so lazy for not but i physically can't do it at the minute.
God i wish the world would just let me die, Im too much of a wimp to do it myself. I hate this
Im sorry to hear you are feeling that way. I hope you find what your looking for.
In a way, i really can relate to what you are saying. I feel no connection towards my mother (just an incredible amount of guilt for not being connected). She too is unaware, either unaware or in denial to how far we have drifted apart.
I hope things get better for you soon
x x x
obviously, most of the time people who self-harm are depressed, but wouldn't it be better if there were separate depression and self harm threads?
for example, i feel depressed at the moment, but some of the posts in this thread are just "whoa!" i was gonna post in here asking for advice, but the self harm posts have really put me off tbh.
i've nothing against people who do it, or why they do it. it's just not something i want to read about. if you understand.