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So, honestly...

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless wrote:
    Rejection = Me: Hi, I'm... Her: *Swift kick to balls* Me: *On floor gasping for breath*

    When has that ever actually happened?

    Mate you have got to sort yourself out. There is nothing less attractive than someone with a chip on their shoulder and an attitude that they somehow deserve companionship. As if you're owed anything, none of the rest of us are.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless wrote:
    But friendships seem to be based on common interests

    Not always. I have loads of friends in school, but I have nothing in common with them.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry to break this to you, but most of them won't last for long past school
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    Sorry to break this to you, but most of them won't last for long past school

    If that was directed at me, I am aware of this.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ok, good.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    the thing is, whenever i try and talk to someone i want to, i always feel as though ive messed it up and and that just makes it worse. i so wanna talk about things i like to certain people but i cant seem to. i usually fade away and their "interest" is usually swayed by more attractive people (i mean that physically AND personality-wise)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    As if you're owed anything

    I'm owed justice.

    Anyway, I was speaking to a girl I really fancy from work today. My hands were shaking like crazy. I managed to hide that fact though. I even managed to make a joke, she laughed even though it was a pretty stupid joke. So, yeah, I'm pretty chuffed at the moment. If only I knew how to proceed... :chin:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    And what would justice be for you, the complete subjection of the entire female population for your sexual pleasure?

    and you wonder why you're single.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless wrote:
    I'm owed justice.

    Justice for what exactly?

    And from whom would you like it?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    And what would justice be for you, the complete subjection of the entire female population for your sexual pleasure?

    and you wonder why you're single.

    Oh my god!!! Seriously, what the fuck?! All I want is a little attention, maybe even a fucking conversation! Why is it always about sex with you people?

    Mist wrote:
    Justice for what exactly?

    And from whom would you like it?

    I want justice for all the shit I've been through in my life and I want it from those who did it to me. Although, I'd be happy to let it go if the future didn't look so shite...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless wrote:
    I want justice for all the shit I've been through in my life and I want it from those who did it to me.

    You scare me. What form will this justice take, do you imagine?
    Although, I'd be happy to let it go if the future didn't look so shite...

    Bottom line is, it'll be exactly what you make of it and nothing more. Good situations and opportunities don't just drop into the laps of other people, it's like everything... you get out what you put into something.

    Step in the right direction with the girl from work, though, well done. As for your next step, just keep talking to her, build on the little bit of confidence you now have around her... even if it is really only a little. Just say hi, if you can think of small talk then make it. I promise you one day you'll be nattering about the weather and notice that your hands are still as can be :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can't believe I scare people!

    The hand shaking really freaked me out, they kept on shaking even after I stopped talking to her. Luckily no one noticed. I think I'm gonna try and pursue this. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless wrote:
    I want justice for all the shit I've been through in my life and I want it from those who did it to me. Although, I'd be happy to let it go if the future didn't look so shite...

    Well, here's the thing. You aren't going to get it.

    So you'd do a damn site better in the future by just letting go of that massive bundle of anger that you seem to have there and actually treating new people that you meet with respect, instead of baing every impression you have on shit you've been through.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless wrote:
    The hand shaking really freaked me out, they kept on shaking even after I stopped talking to her. Luckily no one noticed. I think I'm gonna try and pursue this. :)

    While you are on a roll get out and talk to more girls, just talk for the sake of chatting to new people. It doesn't have to be about something else happening or developing meaningful friendships/relationships, once you get used to talking to people you will become more chatty naturally and you'll be less nervous about it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    exactly what has been done to you lifeless? pricks getting the girls? well i bet thats gone on forever. i dont think anybody's owed a girlfriend. its just natural. except if youre a weirdo.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Mist wrote:
    Well, here's the thing. You aren't going to get it.

    I could get it. But I'm not ready to cross that line yet.
    Mist wrote:
    So you'd do a damn site better in the future by just letting go of that massive bundle of anger that you seem to have there and actually treating new people that you meet with respect, instead of baing every impression you have on shit you've been through.

    I always treat new people with respect. I always respond if they speak to me or and try to help out if I can. That is, untill they screw me over. Then I add them to a certain list that seems to be getting longer.
    hazell wrote:
    exactly what has been done to you lifeless? pricks getting the girls? well i bet thats gone on forever. i dont think anybody's owed a girlfriend. its just natural. except if youre a weirdo.

    Loads of things have been done to me and it's far too depressing to get into. Watching complete assholes always getting the girls just makes everything worse.
    While you are on a roll get out and talk to more girls, just talk for the sake of chatting to new people. It doesn't have to be about something else happening or developing meaningful friendships/relationships, once you get used to talking to people you will become more chatty naturally and you'll be less nervous about it.

    I ought to try that really. But I have this worry about being misleading or something. Well, I have a lot of worries, I think far too much you see. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless wrote:
    But I have this worry about being misleading or something. Well, I have a lot of worries, I think far too much you see. :)

    i feel like that sometimes. that and worrying i'll fuck everything up if i open my mouth again so i just shut up. and then its back to square one.

    still lifeless, at least thats something positive in your life.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know exactly what you mean! Sometimes I feel that it's better to say nothing at all than to say something and mess every thing up!

    What was that quote? Something about its better to have people think your stupid rather than open your mouth and remove all doubt?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeh.

    most people talk more than me and MY GOD they are stupid.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless wrote:
    I know exactly what you mean! Sometimes I feel that it's better to say nothing at all than to say something and mess every thing up!

    What was that quote? Something about its better to have people think your stupid rather than open your mouth and remove all doubt?

    Personally I think its better to take a risk. Sometimes I do things on impulse and look very stupid but I'm happy. I'd rather look stupid every now and again now than risk looking back in 20 years time with a whole lot of regret.

    I suppose everyone has to weigh the two up and decide which risk is worse.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless maybe if you cared less about some narrow-minded people thought you'd be less scared to approach a woman to ask her out.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless wrote:
    Watching complete assholes always getting the girls just makes everything worse.

    It's called confidence I think?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    and being a twat
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hazell wrote:
    and being a twat

    Why?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So if they feel capable of asking a woman out and they go ahead and do it they're a twat?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh please, being confident and successful with women automatically makes you a twat now, does it? Or is it that being a twat automatically equals success with we bird-brained women-folk?

    The clue is in the fact that you sit by "watching" these men be successful with the opposite sex; I'll give you a hint - girls don't just fall into your lap unless you trip them up or are paying a handsome amount for the pleasure.

    Wise up!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    briggi wrote:
    Oh please, being confident and successful with women automatically makes you a twat now, does it? Or is it that being a twat automatically equals success with we bird-brained women-folk?

    The clue is in the fact that you sit by "watching" these men be successful with the opposite sex; I'll give you a hint - girls don't just fall into your lap unless you trip them up or are paying a handsome amount for the pleasure.

    Wise up!

    not everyone. but MOST people are twats. i know very few people who aren't but hey that's my opinion. i'm just saying thats what it seems like.

    it's not the world thats out of order. its me. i'm not stupid. and i know why i'm such a failure. it soesnt change my opinion that a lot of real dickheads always get the girl.
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    Sofie wrote:
    Lifeless wrote:
    Watching complete assholes always getting the girls just makes everything worse.
    It's called confidence I think?
    The way you replied to this, Sophie, you seem to be implying that the only people with confidence are the assholes. I don't think you meant that, so please just watch your wording.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The way you replied to this, Sophie, you seem to be implying that the only people with confidence are the assholes. I don't think you meant that, so please just watch your wording.

    Sorry. What I meant was:
    It's not the arseholes that get girls; it's the confident ones.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hazell wrote:
    not everyone. but MOST people are twats. i know very few people who aren't but hey that's my opinion. i'm just saying thats what it seems like.

    No, "most people" aren't anything. Most of the people you've met may have been unpleasant, and most of the blokes you must've witnessed being successful on the pull may well be twats but that's no reflection on the world or on confident men or on women for that matter. I know it probably does seem like that - I'm sure we've all had thoughts along those lines from time to time - but it's really not. Maybe you need to start socialising in different places, and looking at the world and the people who live in it with a more open-minded view.
    it's not the world thats out of order. its me. i'm not stupid. and i know why i'm such a failure. it soesnt change my opinion that a lot of real dickheads always get the girl.

    I don't know about other aspects of your life, but not being able to get a girlfriend or inspire female interest at the moment doesn't mean you're a failure at all. Coming around from that way of thinking is half the battle. Not every female wants a man whose cup runneth over with confidence but I can assure you that none want one who considers himself a failure. What's attractive about that?

    You need to understand that the whole world of attraction/dating/shagging/whatever isn't like a fairytale. You see these men being successful and pulling and immediately think that their brave heart has won fair maiden, maybe you need to realise that not every woman is this prize that you would want and [I can't believe I'm saying this, but :p] take these women down from the pedestals you have them on. I get the feeling you're pursuing the wrong kinds of women, if any pursuit takes place at all.
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