Since there’s NO SC, How’s everyone really doing?

Millie2787

@Chloe234 please don’t feel like you have to limit yourself to one day of support . We’re all here on the boards and during chat for when you need it . I know it’s frustrating when chats are closed , but everyone on the boards are here for when it’s closed 💜

Former Member

Millie2787 wrote: »

Mel_ wrote: »

Millie2787 wrote: »

And I know how difficult those last 8 months have been for you 💜 you should be proud of you too … small steps lead to much bigger ones in the future

just feels like my recovery with it all is being delayed, I don't feel like I can truly recover until its over, but I also feel like if the case gets dropped in the next week or so and nothing happens it was all for nothing, and he's got away with it. it just too much honestly for me to handle honestly

I know the feeling . Hopefully with how long they’ve taken with collecting evidence etc that they won’t drop the case 💜

I'm really hoping that also, but I don't know how to prepare myself for if they do though

Millie2787

@mel that’s a bridge we can cross together if it is the outcome 💜

Chloe234

Thank you @Millie2787 its hard tho bc i allow myself (this may be silly) but i allow myself in support circle to get support because i feel like in doing so im burdening less people, i always see it as i have to be the strong one. The supportibe one but im not that at the moment so im just beating myself up about it

Millie2787

@Chloe234 i used to be like that and in the end it just wore me down and I was in a constant state of being burnt out . Even just having the space to say “I’m having a shit day “ but not feel like you want to explore the thoughts and reasons behind that can really help

Ed_

Millie2787 wrote: »

@mel that’s a bridge we can cross together if it is the outcome 💜

This is definitely a good mindset, we will all be here for you whatever the outcome on Thursday. It takes immense courage and strength to have reported it in the first place, so remember that you always have that strength inside you, even at the times when we feel at our weakest. Do you have any support from a victim support worker or anything like that? It may be that they have some techniques that can help with the build up.

On the keeping busy front, do you have people you trust that you can ask to be around with you at times when you know you are going to be by yourself? If not, do you have anything practical like a lego model or a puzzle? If so, perhaps every time you have a thought you don't want, you set yourself the task to do a certain number of steps in the model or complete a number of puzzle pieces. That way, you are focusing your mind on something completely random that requires you to concentrate on only that.

Millie2787

@Ed_ what’s your favourite thing to do when your feeling overwhelmed with a situation ?

Former Member

thanks @Ed_ not sure if the outcome will be Thursday but the officer said it'll take 2 weeks max for the chief officer to review it... which will be Thursday & then organise to meet me to tell me as its probably not a great idea to do it over the phone with something like that

I have a support worker but shes so bad so I don't even contact anymore, last time I heard from her she was annoyed at me and was rude on the phone so I don't even bother anymore.

i don't have anyone near me in this area. and idk I guess, it just depends I'm going to end up spiralling if it goes that way anyway and no distractions will stop me

Ed_

Millie2787 wrote: »

@Ed_ what’s your favourite thing to do when your feeling overwhelmed with a situation ?

That's a good question, it probably depends on the situation tbh, but recently it has randomly been doing washing up and listening to a podcast (ideally with headphones on as this helps remove me from the space a little bit).

Other thing that can be helpful is writing it all down, ideally on paper. Depending on the feeling, I can then rip it up or scribble over it to get some energy out.

Does anyone else have any go to techniques?

Chloe234

Thank you @Millie2787 💜

Millie2787

At the moment I’m really enjoying Reading . I used to read loads when I was in high school , then not really haven’t a decent library in college I kinda got out of it .

But most recently I’ve got back into it and have read This is going to hurt ( and watched the bbc Tv series) , read a story about a palliative care nurse working just before and during covid and now I’m reading one about a paramedic . I think I’ve got a midwife one on my bookshelf too . All true stories from various healthcare professions.

I just love how lost I can get in a book

Ed_

Mel_ wrote: »

thanks @Ed_ not sure if the outcome will be Thursday but the officer said it'll take 2 weeks max for the chief officer to review it... which will be Thursday & then organise to meet me to tell me as its probably not a great idea to do it over the phone with something like that

I have a support worker but shes so bad so I don't even contact anymore, last time I heard from her she was annoyed at me and was rude on the phone so I don't even bother anymore.

i don't have anyone near me in this area. and idk I guess, it just depends I'm going to end up spiralling if it goes that way anyway and no distractions will stop me

So if you don't get good news that you want, I wonder if there are three things that you can plan that you will do before spiralling. Sometimes having that plan in advance (and written down) can almost train your brain to not allow the spiral to happen before you do those three things. It could then be that one or all of those things helps prevent the spiral happening. An example could be that you will call a friend or a helpline.

Ed_

Chloe234 wrote: »

Thank you @Millie2787 its hard tho bc i allow myself (this may be silly) but i allow myself in support circle to get support because i feel like in doing so im burdening less people, i always see it as i have to be the strong one. The supportibe one but im not that at the moment so im just beating myself up about it

So I would definitely echo what Millie has said, there is never any pressure to share details about what you are struggling about in support chat, sometimes just the fact that others know you are having a rough time can be enough to feel less alone with it. Remember that we can't be strong 100% of the time, otherwise we wouldn't have a word that describes what being strong is, or about a thousand different words to describe what the opposite of strong feels like.

Chloe234

Thank you @Ed_

Millie2787

Right I’m off to bed … it’s been a long day of nee duvet searching 🤣🤣

Night night and much love @Mel_ 💜

Chloe234

Take care @Millie2787

Ed_

I am going to be logging off soon, so just wanted to drop in with a few extra support options as appreciate there are a lot of people holding a lot right now. Do reach out to any of these if you are finding things tough right now:

Crisis Messenger (24/7) | text THEMIX to 85258
Samartians (24/7) | call 116 123 | email jo@samaritans.org
Papyrus (2pm-midnight) | call 0800 068 41 41 | text 07786 209 697 | email pat@payrus-uk.org
Supportline (hours vary) | call 01708 765 200
Childline | call 0800 11 11

As a wind down from chat tonight, here are a few distraction options to give a go. Do add your own distraction idea as a closing round for tonight

Try a yoga breathing session
Watch a live kittens stream
Try these Brainteaser
Have a go at a quiz

Chloe234

Thanks @Ed_

independent_

Omg I didn’t realise chat was cancelled again or I’d have been online too helping out here! So nice to see the thread is helping, please please feel free to keep using it as much as you need to

Thank you so much @Ed_ and @Millie2787 and everyone for supporting each other here

Sending hugs to everyone needing support @Mel_ @Chloe234 @Dancer and anyone else I’ve missed (not ignoring I just can’t remember who’s posted lol).

I’m so glad this is helping out I wasn’t sure if it would

Chloe234

Thank you @independent_ ❤️

Dancer

I start my summer volunteer job tomorrow. Aghhhh.

Chloe234

hi @Dancer how you feeling about it?

Dancer

Not great as you could probably tell.

Chloe234

sorry to hear that @Dancer would you like to talk about it?

Past User

Hey, I don't tend to use the SC but it's nice to have this discussion all the same.

Hope everyone is well.

independent_

@Dancer oh no, are you feeling nervous about it?

@Chloe234 loving the support! How are you today?

@Past User nice to see you around, feels like aaaaages!! No worries, feel free to use this thread if you feel it’s easier, I just wanted to make it as we have the rant and hug thread, but I wanted to make somewhere where people could post and be more likely to get a response. How are you?

Tiring day for me, mum made me go for a walk, to be honest I wasn’t feeling that great this morning for some reason just been a tough week with the operation and things. But my walk and a long nap helped a bit I think.

Chloe234

Thanks @independent_ im really not good but had a day out woh a friend so feel guilty for feeling bad

independent_

It’s ok to feel bad @Chloe234, sometimes things outside just can’t make it better no matter how much we try, I’ve been there too, and in fact when I’m feeling really low like that I find that not much works. It’s ok. I’m glad you’re talking about it though, you’re doing really well. Sending hugs

Chloe234

Thanks @independent_ 💜 i wasnt going to go out if im honest and it was very last minute but my friend wasnt good and just wanted someone to hang out with and i ended up just getting on a bus for an hour to go hang out even tho im really bad mentally i was tryna hide it cuz i wanted to be useful for once. Now im in the car on the way back and i have an eating disorder which is really loud as ive just eaten a load of junk today so now i feel awful abt myself and i just hate how im feeling i really hope sc and gc is on tonight

independent_

@Chloe234 oh that really sucks, I’m sorry to hear your thoughts are so loud. Any plans for when you get home?

Trust me (and I wouldn’t say this is it wasn’t true) you’ve been very useful on this thread over the past few days. I’m sure you were to your friend too, but if nothing else, please try to take that as a small positive (I know that’s hard).

Feel free to chat in SC too, I’ll probably drop in there at some point as well so I’ll keep an eye out for you.