Recovering from Eating Disorders: Ask us Anything - EDAW 2020
Ed_
Moderator Posts: 1,551 Extreme Poster
It seems like the awareness weeks are coming in thick and fast at the moment. Hot off the heals of Self Harm Awareness day is Eating Disorders Awareness week. We are really excited to run another AMA to help people get ideas on all things to do with eating disorders. Whether you are someone that is battling through with recovery, or you are caring for someone with an eating disorder, or you are just interested to find out more, we've got you covered. We also thought it would be great to get a number of people with different experiences join in to help get different perspectives on the same questions. We will be updating this thread as we have people confirmed
Hey! I’m Molly, a previous intern at The Mix and a volunteer at First Steps, an eating disorder charity based in Derbyshire. I was diagnosed with OSFED (otherwise specified feeding or eating disorder) when I was sixteen but recovered through counselling sessions and support groups. After my recovery I decided to volunteer to help others who were going through the same experiences as me – I now offer peer support online. I have also cared for a relative with anorexia, so I really understand how tough eating disorders can be, and want to help as much as possible
Hope Virgo is the Author of Stand Tall Little Girl, and a multi award winning international leading advocate for people with eating disorders. Hope helps young people and employers (including schools, hospitals and businesses) to deal with the rising tide of mental health issues. She has been described by Richard Mitchell, CEO of Sherwood Forest Hospital, as "sharing a very powerful story with a huge impact". Hope is also a recognised media spokesperson, having appeared on various platforms including BBC Newsnight, Victoria Derbyshire, Good Morning Britain, Sky News and BBC News.
For four years, Hope managed to keep it hidden, keeping dark
secrets from friends and family. But then, on 17th November 2007, Hope's world
changed forever. She was admitted to a mental health hospital. Forced to leave
her family and friends, the hospital became her home. Over the next year, at
her lowest ebb, Hope faced the biggest challenge of her life. She had to find
the courage to beat her anorexia.
Hello, I'm Tom Rebair and I was diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa at the age of 16 after being rushed into hospital seriously unwell - around 8 years ago. In that time, I've had a number of hospital admissions, including an 6 month inpatient stay. As a male suffering from an eating disorder I've faced many stigmas, so as I've learnt ways to manage this illness, I've made it my mission to share my story and hopefully help other people out there struggling too. Through being as an ambassador for charities such as The Prince's Trust and YoungMinds, I have been able to share my journey to thousands of people at various events - even in front of royalty! I also was awarded a Points of Light award for my work in raising awareness, which led to an invite to No.10 for World Mental Health Day. Anorexia is still a daily battle for me, but with the right tools I've realised that you can still achieve great things despite it.
When?
Where?
I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
Comments
Just a quick update to say that we should be able to announce another two experts joining this thread soon, which should make it a really interesting discussion, make sure you get your questions in before Wednesday!
I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
Do you think it's helpful having close friends with eating disorders and are at various stages of recovery /relapse while you are struggling yourself?
How can you best support someone struggling?
I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
Wooo been following hope on twitter for a while now! Love her campaign!
Is it normal to dread having to get weighed when you know that you are not what you should be?
Sorry if they make no sense.
"The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
"I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous
"The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
"I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous
"The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
"I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous
how do you overcome the times when your mind convinces you there’s nothing wrong and you don’t actually need help that your just making it all up ?
I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
"The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
"I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous
"The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
"I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous
So there are various kinds of OSFED's and EDNOS's that range from restricting/starving, binging, over-eating, orthorexic tendencies (obsessing with 'clean' eating) and they can have all kinds of signs.
Signs can include: anxiety surrounding certain/all foods, compulsive exercise, social isolation, lack of concentration, bad body image, binging, secret eating and restricting. I experienced almost all of these when I was struggling but remember everyone has their own personal experiences!
I'm not a medical professional but over-eating can become an ED especially if it's emotional eating and if you feel you are eating to achieve a certain goal, for example for comfort or sadness. We are publishing an article on OSFED shortly so keep your eyes out for that - and please don't hesitate to get in touch if you want more advice
Hope this helps in some way!
I definitely believe that you can fully recover from an eating disorder. I think it's really important not to place too much pressure on yourself and accept that recovery is not always going to be a smooth ride, and it can be full of ups and downs! My recovery journey definitely took some time, but it is SO worth it and you can definitely do it!
The main thing I noticed was how, when I was struggling, I couldn't recognised when my thoughts or behaviours towards food were harmful or irrational. Now, on the rare occasion when I get ED thoughts, I know my coping strategies and how to challenge them.
I believe I am fully recovered - I was 15 when I was diagnosed and I am 22 now
I personally found it most helpful during recovery to focus on myself and really appreciated support from my family and friends who were positive and encouraging. Having friends with eating disorders can be really beneficial if you both REALLY want to recover. You can motivate each other and boost each other up during tough times! However I would be careful at times if you feel that they may trigger you in some way - you really have to look after your own wellbeing during recovery.
For me, I found that the best way someone could help me was just knowing that they were there for me when I needed them. That I didn't always have to talk to them, but if I wanted to they would always listen. Friends can provide a great distraction from ED thoughts and can show you that there is so much fun to be have outside of that ED mindset!
No need to apologise, they make sense
It's completely normal to feel anxious about recovery - it can be a scary prospect to challenge your ED! I'm sorry to hear that you don't feel hopeful - all I can say is that life is SO much better without an ED.
Life without an ED is fun, happy, positive and FREE. You can do whatever you want without your ED telling you not to. Life is so short and precious and you deserve to be happy and hopeful and positive - always! Never forget that.
Again, it's completely normal dreading having to get weighed when you know you aren't at the weight you are supposed to be. I always think of it like an angel or devil on either shoulder, the angel being you, and the devil being your ED. The devil never wants you to reach that target weight and wants you to feel anxious but remember you can beat it!
We are here for you x
I have definitely struggled with this in the past, don't worry, you're not alone!
I think I just convinced myself that I didn't like certain foods as I thought that they were 'bad' or 'unsafe'. When really, it was just my ED telling me that. I always used the excuse 'I actually don't like that food item' to get out of eating it when really I was just giving into my ED.
I think the best way to try and approach this is through challenging yourself with small goals to eat foods that you think are 'bad' or 'unsafe' - if your ED hasn't let you eat these foods for a long time you may have even forgotten the taste! It's good to almost try foods all over again like you've never eaten them before!
Cake was one of my unsafe foods and I had completely convinced myself I hated it, that I 'didn't have a sweet tooth' when I completely do! As soon as I challenged myself to try a little bit again, I found that really I liked it a lot.
Another thing to bear in mind is that our tastes change all the time and things we might not have used to like, we do grow to like! Just remember that NO food is bad, unsafe or good and safe. Food is our energy, our fuel, our pleasure.
If you decide to try and challenge yourself with an unsafe food or a food you think you don't like, let me know how you get on
I hope this helps in some way!
Hey! @Millie2787
Do you mind me asking who you have spoken to in the past? e.g. has it been your GP?
I actually received treatment for my ED from a wonderful charity local to me, called First Steps Derbyshire. The NHS route didn't work well for me and so I decided to have counselling with them and attended lots of their support groups. In all honesty they saved my life - both of my counsellors had EDs when they were younger and so they really understood me and we could work through my problems together. Have you thought about getting counselling through a charity instead of the NHS?
BEAT do have some great advice about going to the doctor about your ED and how you can approach it, which you can read here.
Please don't give up - there are always people out there to listen, help and believe you! And you always deserve help and support, no matter what the problem
When your mind is convincing you there is nothing wrong, try writing down everything you are feeling, and be true to yourself and don't doubt or dismiss or disregard anything. Just because people have
been dismissive of you in the past doesn't mean you don't need help or support - we are here for you!
Remember that your ED can be strong and persuasive but your voice can be louder x
I spoke about it to camhs they tried to weigh me one session and I refused and then they never did it again when she told me they would have to do it every week , I have also tried my Gp too but felt like they didn’t really believe me and that it was just all my anxiety
I really started to overcome binge eating when I began to eat proper and substantial meals - basically when I stopped restricting. I realised I was binging to eradicate the painful hunger and to just get the opportunity to eat every single food my ED told me was bad, and would make me fat. Allowing myself to enjoy these foods made a huge difference.
When I began to eat a variety of meals I no longer felt the need to binge, because I was no longer depriving myself. I listened to my body and realised that I could recognise what being full and satisfied meant. It was a learning curve for sure!
I also overcame binging by writing down my feelings before and after a binge and noticing that it made me anxious and miserable. So, I started to come up with distraction techniques - going for a walk, playing my piano, talking to my family about how I was feeling, watching TV and always having something in your hands is good! Like a stress ball or a rubber band is so helpful.
Binging and restricting is a really challenging cycle but it is completely possible to overcome!
Thanks for all your questions!
Well done for getting weight restored - that's amazing!
I'm sorry to hear you're still struggling with thoughts and meals, sending lots of positivity your way! I hope you don't mind me asking this - but do you really want to lose weight or is your ED telling you to? Remember your worth, value and beauty are not associated with your weight!
I think it would be a good idea to seek support from a professional before deciding if you want to lose weight, maybe to work on body image and positivity! When you look in the mirror, tell yourself 5 things you love about yourself. Do this everyday if you can! It really helps instil some confidence and appreciation for yourself.
Something that really helped my body image, and my mental health in general, was exercising (moderately). I really enjoyed dance classes and swimming in particular - group sports are so much fun too. Exercise is a great way to change how you view your body! Our bodies are strong and can swim lengths and move to music - they're incredible and we need to appreciate everything they do for us!
You are beautiful the way you are and losing weight doesn't equate to happiness - never forget that! Choose life over weight