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Recovering from Eating Disorders: Ask us Anything - EDAW 2020

13

Comments

  • MollyMolly Posts: 19 Expert
    "NO food is bad, unsafe or good and safe. Food is our energy, our fuel, our pleasure" 

    So for over 10 years I've considered creme eggs as 'bad' well guess who just ate one cause of this 🙋‍♀️💃 thanks @Molly 😊
    @BubblesGoesBoo
    That made me so happy! Go you! x 
  • MollyMolly Posts: 19 Expert
    I struggle to eat around people but a bit easier by my self and even when I do eat I feel the urge to burn it of or force myself to lose those calories. How can I stop this, my dad has said he can see me losing weight but I can't see it. People say the mirror lies to you and you see yourself worce then you are but I can't see past that lie. 
    Hey @HowDoYouTalkAboutIt

    Thanks for getting in touch! It's so common for people struggling with eating disorders and body image problems to not see your body for what it really looks like. It's true - the mirror can lie to you but also it's human nature to pick on ourselves, especially to focus on what we don't like about our bodies. When you look in the mirror - try telling yourself things you like rather than things you don't! It doesn't have to be about your physical appearance but it can be about anything about you. 

    I'm sorry to hear you're finding this difficult - struggling to eat around people and feeling the immediate urge to burn off food can be symptoms of disordered eating.

    Remember that food and calories are purely energy, fuel and we NEED it to survive! Food is a part of everyday life, it's always around us and it really is something that we should enjoy rather than fear. 

    Perhaps you could set yourself a challenge to eat at least one bit of food around people a day - whether that's friends or family, and then try and increase it when it begins to get a little easier. Remember, no one should judge you for what you eat. EVER. And you should be able to eat wherever you want, and whenever you want! You have nothing to be ashamed of.

    Sending you lots of positivity x


  • DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,740 Master Poster
    I feel a bit scared to ask my question so I might put it in a spoiler.

    Is it normal to feel fat and want to starve although you are quite thin? I sometimes hate my body image and it stops me from motivating myself to eat. 

    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
  • Jade09Jade09 Moderator Posts: 660 Incredible Poster
    Hey everyone!

    I'm just going to be in the background tonight! just looking over but I hope everyone has a helpful evening  :)

    Thank you for all the questions! 
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  • MollyMolly Posts: 19 Expert
    GreenTea said:
    How to develop a support network? I have no one to turn to, doctor refused to send a referral and also told me therapy is pointless. I don't have family to support me, my friends don't really support me and it's hard having no one to go to when I'm having a bad day etc
    Hey @GreenTea :)

    I'm so sorry to hear that. I don't know if you saw one of my previous answers in this thread but I actually got a lot of my support from a local charity which runs regular support groups for young people. I know that these support groups were really helpful for all of us there and made us feel less isolated and alone, and I made genuine friends! 

    It was a chance for everyone there to forget about our problems and do nice things together :)here is a link of eating disorder organisations across the UK - have a look and see if there is one near to where you live! 

    Sending lots of positivity and strength - you're doing amazingly x 
  • TomRTomR Posts: 9 Expert
    GreenTea said:
    How to develop a support network? I have no one to turn to, doctor refused to send a referral and also told me therapy is pointless. I don't have family to support me, my friends don't really support me and it's hard having no one to go to when I'm having a bad day etc
    @GreenTea

    I am very sorry to hear this, you’re not in the wrong so don’t give up! Get back in touch onto your doctors again but make sure it’s a different doctor. Even though it’s the same place, each doctor will have a different opinion and will do things differently. If you can Ask for a specific doctor that has supported, you in the past.  If you need someone to speak to now Samaritans are really good at listening, they aren’t eating disorders specialists, but they will listen to you.  Beat also does a support line that could help as well.


  • TomRTomR Posts: 9 Expert
    Do you have any advice on how to get your GP to listen to you , I’ve recently been to the dentist and had blood tests and it’s shown that I’m deficient in some vitamins and that I have decay and cavity’s starts and I’m scared this is linked into my B/P but then I’m also too scared to go back to the GP in fear that they will reject me again , last time I tried the GP said “I once struggled to get an underweight anorexic to be seen by the service “ and it’s just made me feel like I’m too fat to have an eating disorder 
    @Millie2787

    I Would say keep trying with your doctors but see if you can try a different doctor each time. Also, tell the doctor about what the dentist has said. Fear is a horrible thing, it’s our self-fight, our self. You are doing the right thing getting help, you are the best doctor for you but it’s just sometimes we need that professional help just to get us going in the right direction. So, no matter what the doctor says be proud because you achieved that fear. If you can get someone to go with you as support. If that does not work, see if your dentist could ring your doctors or send a letter of what they know to help support you. You can do this!


  • Jade09Jade09 Moderator Posts: 660 Incredible Poster
    edited March 2020
    Really hope you gain the support you deserve @GreenTea Keep fighting for it!  <3

    @Millie2787 you are deserving of the support, and like @TomR said you should definitely be proud of yourself for reaching out! 
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  • TomRTomR Posts: 9 Expert
    edited March 2020
    Kasa2103 said:
    I feel a bit scared to ask my question so I might put it in a spoiler.

    Is it normal to feel fat and want to starve although you are quite thin? I sometimes hate my body image and it stops me from motivating myself to eat. 

    No, it’s not that the eating disorder, I am very sorry to hear you're struggling a lot. But you can fight it and achieve things that the eating disorder would never make you think you could achieve. Recovery is very hard but worth it in so many ways You can do it! Even if it’s the smallest step forward! If you want someone to speak to Beat to have a support line that might help and the number for this is  0808 801 0711


  • DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,740 Master Poster
    edited March 2020
    Thank you for answering my question. It is really scary for me to seek support on Beat. But I will try after I come home from gymnastics later.
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
  • Jade09Jade09 Moderator Posts: 660 Incredible Poster
    @Kasa2103 well done for asking that question and reaching out, I hope that you can find some support! and remember The mix is here for you aswell  <3
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  • MollyMolly Posts: 19 Expert
    Do you have any advice on how to get your GP to listen to you , I’ve recently been to the dentist and had blood tests and it’s shown that I’m deficient in some vitamins and that I have decay and cavity’s starts and I’m scared this is linked into my B/P but then I’m also too scared to go back to the GP in fear that they will reject me again , last time I tried the GP said “I once struggled to get an underweight anorexic to be seen by the service “ and it’s just made me feel like I’m too fat to have an eating disorder 
    Hey @Millie2787

    You are never, ever too fat, or too thin to have an eating disorder. One of the biggest misconceptions around eating disorders are that you have to have a certain appearance or be a certain weight but that is just not true in any way.

    Please never think that you don't deserve help because your feelings are always valid. And please don't give up - you did so so well going to the GP, it was such a brave thing to do so you should be very proud of yourself!

    If you feel like you can and want to, I would go back to your GP again and describe to them how you're feeling, in as much detail as possible and ask for help. Is there anyone who could maybe go with you for some support? In the meantime, take a look at the link to these organisations and see if any are near where you live - as they could also offer you some support. 

    You've got this! x 

  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    What are your top tips for staying well? 
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
  • Jade09Jade09 Moderator Posts: 660 Incredible Poster
    Really good question @BubblesGoesBoo
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  • MollyMolly Posts: 19 Expert
    Kasa2103 said:
    I feel a bit scared to ask my question so I might put it in a spoiler.

    Is it normal to feel fat and want to starve although you are quite thin? I sometimes hate my body image and it stops me from motivating myself to eat. 

    Hey @Kasa2103 :)

    Thank you so much for asking the question even though you were scared. 

    Wanting to starve yourself and feeling fat is definitely the disorder talking. Remember that losing weight and starving yourself won't make you happy - but eating and giving yourself energy will help you get through every day. One of my close relatives was very poorly with anorexia - she has been in recovery for a while now, and says that when she didn't eat she was miserable and grumpy all the time, whereas now she eats a proper balanced diet and goes to school, has a part-time job, goes to dance class and in general is so much more happier! 

    Choose food and life! You are beautiful the way you are. 

    You've got this x 

  • TomRTomR Posts: 9 Expert
    What are your top tips for staying well? 
    @BubblesGoesBoo Really good question, hard to answer as it such a personal thing but I would say definitely first priority is your health, mental or physical. Then do things you enjoy. Work hard, but make sure it's in a balance with your life outside of work. There are loads of different ideas but it's about finding what works best for your self. 
  • MollyMolly Posts: 19 Expert
    What are your top tips for staying well? 
    My top tips would be: 

    - eating a balanced diet with no restrictions 
    - exercise (not too much though!)
    - staying hydrated 
    - getting fresh air every day
    - taking time for myself 
    - listening to music 
    - doing at least ONE thing that makes you happy every single day 
    - surrounding yourself with positive people only 
  • MollyMolly Posts: 19 Expert
    Molly said:
    I have another one 🙋‍♀️😂 I have an eating disorder (weight restored) , I'm doing really well with it and am above my target weight, I still struggle with the thoughts though and every meal is a struggle, I want to lose a bit of weight (healthily) is that possible for someone who suffers? Like I'm worried about relapse but can't stand my current body, I don't know might be my Ed talking 🤷‍♀️ is there any advice you can give to someone who suffers but wants to lose weight healthily? 
    Hey @BubblesGoesBoo :)

    Thanks for all your questions!

    Well done for getting weight restored - that's amazing!

    I'm sorry to hear you're still struggling with thoughts and meals, sending lots of positivity your way! I hope you don't mind me asking this - but do you really want to lose weight or is your ED telling you to? Remember your worth, value and beauty are not associated with your weight!

    I think it would be a good idea to seek support from a professional before deciding if you want to lose weight, maybe to work on body image and positivity! When you look in the mirror, tell yourself 5 things you love about yourself. Do this everyday if you can! It really helps instil some confidence and appreciation for yourself.

    Something that really helped my body image, and my mental health in general, was exercising (moderately). I really enjoyed dance classes and swimming in particular - group sports are so much fun too. Exercise is a great way to change how you view your body! Our bodies are strong and can swim lengths and move to music - they're incredible and we need to appreciate everything they do for us! 

    You are beautiful the way you are and losing weight doesn't equate to happiness - never forget that! Choose life over weight :) 




    Hey 😊 thanks for answering, I think it is me wanting  lose the weight and not my Ed, like I appreciate all the things my body can do now and I don't want to lose that. Like the biggest thing I like about myself is my hair and I really don't want to be losing it again 😂 also don't want to spend any more time in hospital so I'm pretty sure it won't lead to relapse but not sure 🤷‍♀️ I'll speak to my team and see what they suggest 😊 I've ordered that bootea detox tea, I'm hoping just a detox will help, like maybe if I'm not bloated all the time I'll feel better... 
    Hey again! @BubblesGoesBoo

    Please be careful if you are going to try Bootea... I just want you to be aware of the side effects. Those detox teas are scientifically proven to not give you a 'detox' but are instead laxatives which can damage your body :( you can read more about them here. I would also recommend taking a look at Jameela Jamil's twitter as she discusses her experience with detox teas a lot and it's really insightful! 

    Great idea to speak to your team and it's absolutely amazing that you appreciate your body and don't want to lose your hair again - you've come so far and it's so wonderful to hear! 

    Maybe you could also speak to your team about your body image and ways you can work on it? 

    I hope it all goes really well! Sending lots of strength and positivity to you x 


  • TomRTomR Posts: 9 Expert
    edited March 2020
    Molly said:
    Molly said:
    I have another one 🙋‍♀️😂 I have an eating disorder (weight restored) , I'm doing really well with it and am above my target weight, I still struggle with the thoughts though and every meal is a struggle, I want to lose a bit of weight (healthily) is that possible for someone who suffers? Like I'm worried about relapse but can't stand my current body, I don't know might be my Ed talking 🤷‍♀️ is there any advice you can give to someone who suffers but wants to lose weight healthily? 
    Hey @BubblesGoesBoo :)

    Thanks for all your questions!

    Well done for getting weight restored - that's amazing!

    I'm sorry to hear you're still struggling with thoughts and meals, sending lots of positivity your way! I hope you don't mind me asking this - but do you really want to lose weight or is your ED telling you to? Remember your worth, value and beauty are not associated with your weight!

    I think it would be a good idea to seek support from a professional before deciding if you want to lose weight, maybe to work on body image and positivity! When you look in the mirror, tell yourself 5 things you love about yourself. Do this everyday if you can! It really helps instil some confidence and appreciation for yourself.

    Something that really helped my body image, and my mental health in general, was exercising (moderately). I really enjoyed dance classes and swimming in particular - group sports are so much fun too. Exercise is a great way to change how you view your body! Our bodies are strong and can swim lengths and move to music - they're incredible and we need to appreciate everything they do for us! 

    You are beautiful the way you are and losing weight doesn't equate to happiness - never forget that! Choose life over weight :) 




    Hey 😊 thanks for answering, I think it is me wanting  lose the weight and not my Ed, like I appreciate all the things my body can do now and I don't want to lose that. Like the biggest thing I like about myself is my hair and I really don't want to be losing it again 😂 also don't want to spend any more time in hospital so I'm pretty sure it won't lead to relapse but not sure 🤷‍♀️ I'll speak to my team and see what they suggest 😊 I've ordered that bootea detox tea, I'm hoping just a detox will help, like maybe if I'm not bloated all the time I'll feel better... 
    Hey again! @BubblesGoesBoo

    Please be careful if you are going to try Bootea... I just want you to be aware of the side effects. Those detox teas are scientifically proven to not give you a 'detox' but are instead laxatives which can damage your body :( you can read more about them here. I would also recommend taking a look at Jameela Jamil's twitter as she discusses her experience with detox teas a lot and it's really insightful! 

    Great idea to speak to your team and it's absolutely amazing that you appreciate your body and don't want to lose your hair again - you've come so far and it's so wonderful to hear! 

    Maybe you could also speak to your team about your body image and ways you can work on it? 

    I hope it all goes really well! Sending lots of strength and positivity to you x 



    I would agree with Molly detox tea are not a good thing in anyway. Unfortunately they advertise as the "magic answer" it's not.  Talk to your team and I am sure they will show you best way forward.  
  • GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    @Molly @TomR

    I think the issue is when I went to the doctor's last week and brought up my struggle, he knew full well where my mental health in general is and how I was struggling with my depression and eating disorder. He basically shut me down, told me I was fat and set me a goal weight. He completely ignored what I had originally said about how I was struggling. He also refused to do my medication or refer me anywhere and had the "mental health isn't real" attitude. Since that appointment I have lost weight at a quick rate because his attitude and comments have really impacted me. My issue with all this is, I'm to scared now to visit the doctor's. He was just a cover for my original doctor who has been helpful, but this one doctor was so horrible and just lectured me for 25 minutes about how talk therapy is a waste of time and me taking meds is pointless. He called me lazy for having days I can't get out of bed, called me over active when told I abuse the fact my gym is 24/7, yet he called me fat, yes fat was the word he used, just because I'm not your typical stereotype of anorexia
  • GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    edited March 2020
    Well that turned into more of a rant and I never got to my point about support networks and have now forgotten said point I was trying to make.

    It's been a long day today, sorry

    Also baring in mind I only went to that appointment because I had to have a follow up with blood works after having pneumonia and all I did was ask for a prescription for my meds.. never got it, not been on meds all week 🙃
  • TomRTomR Posts: 9 Expert
    I struggle to eat around people but a bit easier by my self and even when I do eat I feel the urge to burn it of or force myself to lose those calories. How can I stop this, my dad has said he can see me losing weight but I can't see it. People say the mirror lies to you and you see yourself worce then you are but I can't see past that lie. 
    @HowDoYouTalkAboutIt

    It's good you can recognize that your struggling with this so be proud, it’s one step forward. Start small, so, for example, you could eat a snack with someone, then build it up from then. You should never feel like you need to burn off the energy, we all have been “brainwashed” from adverts that we need to do that, but they never take into account that to just live we need energy. An eating disorder is so sneaky so believe your dad, he wouldn’t just say that for nothing, I’m sure he would want the best you. You got this!  Take care 


  • MollyMolly Posts: 19 Expert
    edited March 2020
    Thanks for having me tonight everyone! Have a lovely weekend and sending so much positivity to all of you xx
  • Jade09Jade09 Moderator Posts: 660 Incredible Poster
    Thank you for being here and for your help @Molly! Take care x
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  • MollyMolly Posts: 19 Expert
    edited March 2020
    GreenTea said:
    @Molly @TomR

    I think the issue is when I went to the doctor's last week and brought up my struggle, he knew full well where my mental health in general is and how I was struggling with my depression and eating disorder. He basically shut me down, told me I was fat and set me a goal weight. He completely ignored what I had originally said about how I was struggling. He also refused to do my medication or refer me anywhere and had the "mental health isn't real" attitude. Since that appointment I have lost weight at a quick rate because his attitude and comments have really impacted me. My issue with all this is, I'm to scared now to visit the doctor's. He was just a cover for my original doctor who has been helpful, but this one doctor was so horrible and just lectured me for 25 minutes about how talk therapy is a waste of time and me taking meds is pointless. He called me lazy for having days I can't get out of bed, called me over active when told I abuse the fact my gym is 24/7, yet he called me fat, yes fat was the word he used, just because I'm not your typical stereotype of anorexia
    @GreenTea

    I think you need to try and see a different doctor - this doctor clearly hasn't had any mental health training and doesn't understand how mental health impacts people's lives.

    We DO understand you and everything you're saying is very, very real. Please don't listen to him. I can assure you - there are good doctors out there. I promise you! They are there, please don't give up - please try again. 

    I also once had a very horrific experience with a medical professional and I used to leave in tears every single time I had an appointment with them because they didn't understand my ED. So I never saw them again after realising they were causing more harm than good. I then found a very helpful person and it changed my whole perspective.

    Your mind is the most important thing because mental and physical health go hand in hand. Therapy is super helpful (it helped me more than anything else) and you deserve all the support you can get! Never ever forget that x 
    Post edited by Jade09 on
  • TomRTomR Posts: 9 Expert
    edited March 2020

    I would agree with Molly @GreenTea , Keep trying different doctors because that’s shocking! You’re not in the wrong. You could maybe put in a complaint if you were unhappy with how the doctor treated your situation. You could try and just wait until your original doctor comes back. But if you have any physical signs that you know aren’t right you must go to A&E. You could try and ring CAMHS yourself and explain the situation. Please take care, You can do this don’t give up.   


  • GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    TomR said:
    GreenTea said:
    @Molly @TomR

    I think the issue is when I went to the doctor's last week and brought up my struggle, he knew full well where my mental health in general is and how I was struggling with my depression and eating disorder. He basically shut me down, told me I was fat and set me a goal weight. He completely ignored what I had originally said about how I was struggling. He also refused to do my medication or refer me anywhere and had the "mental health isn't real" attitude. Since that appointment I have lost weight at a quick rate because his attitude and comments have really impacted me. My issue with all this is, I'm to scared now to visit the doctor's. He was just a cover for my original doctor who has been helpful, but this one doctor was so horrible and just lectured me for 25 minutes about how talk therapy is a waste of time and me taking meds is pointless. He called me lazy for having days I can't get out of bed, called me over active when told I abuse the fact my gym is 24/7, yet he called me fat, yes fat was the word he used, just because I'm not your typical stereotype of anorexia


    I agree with Molly, to keep trying different doctors. That’s shocking! You’re not in the wrong. You could put in a complaint because that doctor shouldn’t be working as a doctor like that. You could try and just wait until your original doctor comes back. But if you have any physical signs that you know aren’t right you must go to A&E. You could try and ring CAMHS yourself and explain the situation. Please take care, You can do this don’t give up.   




    I'm too old for camhs, so it's ok. I'm 24 and the situation with my original doctor was because of all the flooding she couldn't get over. I went to the practice on the way home today but theres no appointments for 6 weeks (didn't book as I didn't have my diary with me and have to fit appointments between my 3 jobs)
    It was honestly the worst experience. I left in tears and ended up SH that night as I was so stressed and confused and angry with that appointment. It's almost like I won't get heard because I'm not extremely slim so I don't matter.
  • Jade09Jade09 Moderator Posts: 660 Incredible Poster
    Sorry that happened @GreenTea but you definitely do matter!  <3
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  • Jade09Jade09 Moderator Posts: 660 Incredible Poster
    If anyone needs any further support this evening, the following resources may be of use!  <3

    Anorexia and Bulimia Care (ABC) 03000 11 12 13 anorexiabulimiacare.org.uk
    Advice and support for anyone affected by eating problems.

    Beat 0808 801 0711 (youthline)
    0808 801 0811 (studentline)
    beateatingdisorders.co.uk Under 18s helpline, webchat and online support groups for people with eating disorders, such as anorexia and bulimia.


    Take care everyone  3

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  • TomRTomR Posts: 9 Expert
    I'm really sorry to hear this @GreenTea I would still stay you need to keep fighting for support because you do matter, it's a mental illness that makes you feel like that. Try with the adult services in the same way. Give your self credit your doing 3 jobs! Keep fighting A mental illness is like a physical illness you just can't see it but it's there. Take care 
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