Depression and Self-Harming - Please read

Former Member

Sorry only just got back..didnt have internet..
I guess the good news is that i have managed to not do anything, but it hasnt been easy.. but saying it like that makes it sound strange, like i had a choice, and although i did, i also didnt, if that makes sense.
At the weekend, my boyfriend had been talking about the past a lot and has been playin g songs that really remind me of the past, and while it upset me a lot, it also made me realise that i really have come far since those days..but then in the next breath it doesnt make feel much better..
As strange as this sounds, i miss the way it makes me feel and recently i miss feeling the way i did - not the hurt and pain, but the knowing pain that i understand.But i just dont know what i dont understand and wy i feel like this when things are good! confusing it all is!

Anyway..whinging and moaning over!

Former Member

Sofie wrote:

He could be doing it just for attention, but it's hard to tell whether he'd putting it on or really does have mental health issues. He does need to talk to someone, even if it's just someone who has been in the same situation.

Has your friend spoke to this person yet?

I think the wheels are in motion now, she's told a teacher at her college who should be following it up.

Former Member

good good

isnt a brilliant Idea at all to emotionally blackmail anyone

Former Member

this post'll probably get ignored but what the hey....

just watched keeping the faith and i feel so shit. im thinking about parasuicide or something. just so fucking lonely. nothing to hold on to. shit job. shit life. lack of friends and best of all, no girlfriend.why does everybody seem to be getting on with their lives or at least one aspect? the only time i'm happy is when i shut my eyes and pretend im somewhere else.

fuck i just wanna die.

Former Member

Hugs to you Hazell.

So, I've been prescribed Escitalopram- Ciparalex. My first AD. From what I've heard, I don't want to take them either, I should start them tonight, but I can't. My tutors said that I may feel bad for a while due to them. S'pose I should take them, but still...

Edit: I've just taken the tablet. Should've mentioned it's only 5mg atm.

Former Member

^^ well done it is scary taking ADs for the first time, but just try and remember they work differently for everyone and yes you probably will feel a bit rubbish to begin with but ultimately they can do so much to help. keep your chin up:)

Former Member

hazell wrote:

this post'll probably get ignored but what the hey....

This kind of comment makes me want to ignore you. This kind of self-depreciating emotional blackmail bullshit sickens me.

Former Member

Girl_gunner wrote:

^^ well done it is scary taking ADs for the first time, but just try and remember they work differently for everyone and yes you probably will feel a bit rubbish to begin with but ultimately they can do so much to help. keep your chin up:)

Cheers Just gotta see how things go I guess.

**helen**

Fiend_85 wrote:

This kind of comment makes me want to ignore you. This kind of self-depreciating emotional blackmail bullshit sickens me.

Hey, take it easy fiend. It probably is just best to ignore something than respond as you have above. If you want to respond to this then please PM me as I don't really want to distract this thread. Thanks.

Former Member

TheShyBoyInTheCorner wrote:

I think the wheels are in motion now, she's told a teacher at her college who should be following it up.

Glad to hear it.:)

I think I need help/advice:
For reasons I'd rather not go in to, I've been having a few arguements with a friend of mine over the last few weeks. Now, for some reason, the first thing I want to do is self-harm. How can I stop think about doing this? Before anyone asks, I've never actually managed to cut myself or anything. (thankfully)

Former Member

think about something else like fantasy (sounds dumb but it works) if your sad, take a nap, if your angry go for a walk but don't yourself because it takes ages to stop bleeding and will leave a scar

Former Member

Gah, it's caught up with me again. I've been feeling it coming on. Feeling really shit and worthless. I'm getting tempted to SH and i haven't done it for well over a year now, nearly 2.

Former Member

Fuck.

Former Member

I don't, as ever, really know what to say, but Ballerina - 2 years is awesome, I really respect that.

Infinite - hope you're ok.

Former Member

piccolo wrote:

I don't, as ever, really know what to say, but Ballerina - 2 years is awesome, I really respect that.

i made promises to some people so i didn't want to break it, i was sooo tempted, but i didn't so i'm quite chuffed

Former Member

Ballerina wrote:

i made promises to some people so i didn't want to break it, i was sooo tempted, but i didn't so i'm quite chuffed

2 years is a very long time to go, I cant even manage six months. Same as Piccolo said I really repect you for being able to go that long.

I've havent done it for about a month now, but if I make it to the end of next week I'd be amazed.

Former Member

well done. Thats quite an achievement.

Former Member

thank you it's not quite 2 years yet....but will be about march time i think

Former Member

Fiend_85 wrote:

This kind of comment makes me want to ignore you. This kind of self-depreciating emotional blackmail bullshit sickens me.

hey fuck you, why don't you just ignore it then? it wasnt emotional blackmail i was just going on past history where some other posts have been ignored. and i was feeling really low. obviously youve been great, thanks for your help. tosser

Former Member

hazell wrote:

hey fuck you, why don't you just ignore it then? it wasnt emotional blackmail i was just going on past history where some other posts have been ignored. and i was feeling really low. obviously youve been great, thanks for your help. tosser

Try not to let it get to you. Yeah i know, easier said than done. I think i get where you're coming from. You're feeling really crap and you just want to share how you're feeling at that moment in time. I think that's what your doing. Nothing wrong with that at all, especially in this thread, and if it's makes you feel a little better then that's surely for the good.

X

Former Member

I can't believe I'm actually letting this place get to me.

I think I need to leave or take a break or something.

Former Member

hazell wrote:

hey fuck you, why don't you just ignore it then? it wasnt emotional blackmail i was just going on past history where some other posts have been ignored. and i was feeling really low. obviously youve been great, thanks for your help. tosser

Edit:

long weekend.

Former Member

Yeah, I think it's time I moved on.

All the best everyone, I hope you all get better and conquer your individual demons.

Former Member

Good luck infinite

Skive

.

Skive

Fiend_85 wrote:

Edited

...edited the double post too.

Former Member

Skive wrote:

...edited too.

lol

ETA 2xlol

Former Member

thanks rubberskin.

it really does help when people are sympathetic.

Former Member

Hey, sometimes i get it right, sometimes i get it right. This time i got it right Nowt wrong with having a rant on the net, we all need to let go/let of steam sometimes and a forum like this can be a good place to do it.

Hope ya feeling better XxX

Former Member

Just to update people who don't read my LJ- been put on anti depressants, going back for more counselling.

Ballerina- 2 years is brilliant! I wish I could say that I have gone that long.