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Depression and Self-Harming - Please read

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Comments

  • littlemissylittlemissy Posts: 9,972 Supreme Poster
    piccolo wrote:
    I cut my arms. I binged, I made myself sick. All in one day when I was doing so well and tonight's pizza (boss' leaving do) was going to be guilt-free.

    I feel like shit. I'm exhausted, physically and emotionally, and I can't do this any more. Term hasn't even started yet.


    It's happened now, so it is in the past. Next step is to look ahead rather than back. Please don't beat yourself up about it. It isn't worth it. It's only one day. I hope you had a good time tonight. You deserve it.

    :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Where you get it???
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :nervous: i just wanted to say a lil bit abit about my depression and self harming if you don't mind of course???

    Im talking to a computer screen.... :banghead:

    ive had depression since i was 7 i am now 19 and still on the same pills which i keep telling my dr i must be immune to it because they don't work but hey ho... I was bullied badly not only at school but at home. My mum and dad had a messy divorce which screwed me up alot. I started and still self harm, i try and explain to people how i find it such a good release and ive tryed near enough everything to replace but nothing does... im not ashamed because i self harm but im not proud either. :(

    Take care

    xxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    welcome to the world. no one ever gives a shit.
    With all due respect, you can fuck right off out of this thread if that's the best you can think of to say.

    Black Angel, you're not alone.

    And thank you everyone who replied earlier. I hope it was just a blip. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for the support everyone, I just a had a shitty, didnt want to get out of bed day, plus I'm just low at the moment/self-harming quite a bit at the moment. But a least this time I know why and I know what I can do to make it better, which dosen't happen all that often. At least I have this place otherwise I dont know how I'd cope sometimes. Hope you okay Kate, its okay to have bad days.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    piccolo wrote:
    With all due respect, you can fuck right off out of this thread if that's the best you can think of to say.

    I deserved that. I apologise, I was very pissed off but that's no excuse to be a bit of a dick. I'll fuck off now :o
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I deserved that. I apologise, I was very pissed off but that's no excuse to be a bit of a dick. I'll fuck off now :o

    We all have our bad days, don't beat yourself up over it :) - but this isn't really the place to try and put people on a bigger downer than they already are :).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sorry, bad days back then.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There is no comparison - your life is your life. My life is my life. Fred's life is Fred's life. We all have it hard, we all have it easy. There are things that we've all been through that other people would crumble at - and we all see things in other peoples lives that we know we'd find easy to get through. Comparisons are absolutely pointless, IMO. :)

    Feeling lonely is the pits. Feeling sad is bad, too. Could look at doing something pro-active about it though - maybe an evening class, or some kind of group hobby? Meet new people, explore new things? :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im a bit scared of meeting new people.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jonny - Click was right, you cant compare your life to anyone elses. Your problems might not be the same as everyone elses, but its still important to you. You'll find that people on here do care and will look out for each other and support each other when they need it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im a bit scared of meeting new people.

    There isn't anything scary about it mate. They're all tossers anyway :). But some people are really cool - one in every hundred is worth hanging onto. The rest are selfish, useless and generally worthless. Hence it isn't a problem meeting them - they aren't important, and aren't likely to ever be. So it makes no odds what you think of them, or vice-versa. :)

    However, the handful of people you meet and want to hold on to dearly - they are the ones that will matter. And it's worth meeting the other 100 nobheads - because having good friends is well-worth it. :)

    I'm drunk. Bet I still make a degree of sense though :).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hello everyone. I've got some difficult things going on in my life at the moment. First of all, my computer has died and I can't afford to replace it right now until my finances are in a better state. (I'm typing this out on my brother's PC instead) So, any replies to this, I probably won't be able to read for a bit, so apologies in advance for any delays replying.

    A few things are bringing me down. Later today, I'm going to carry on searching for a job, as I need one quickly. However, another pressing priority is accommodation. My dad is threatening to kick me out of the house. Since I've come home from uni, (and I now admit that was a big mistake) life here has been difficult. Unless things improve in the two week deadline he's set, I'll have to find somewhere else to live. I'm going to try and speak to him later on today to see if there's room to negotiate. He's usually a very reasonable and kind man, but whatever concessions he's prepared to make, I would accept. I just don't like the prospect of being homeless, you know. :(

    Anyway, that's just to let you all know what's going on with me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey again guys

    I got home from school today just feeling so upset as I have had one of my depressed frame of mind things that I get alot.

    I can't talk to some people about whats bothering me out of fear of it getting thrown back in my face. To cope with it I took a razor and just took strips of skin out of my leg and sprayed deodorent on my arm to make a nitrogen burn. I had to keep my leg under water for 15 mins to stop the bleeding and take the chunks of skin and hair out of the razor. I feel peaceful at the moment but it will only be back.

    just wanted to talk/get it off my chest
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :( sorry to hear that, Jonny. I've had smiliar feelings as well lately.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey again guys

    I got home from school today just feeling so upset as I have had one of my depressed frame of mind things that I get alot.

    I can't talk to some people about whats bothering me out of fear of it getting thrown back in my face. To cope with it I took a razor and just took strips of skin out of my leg and sprayed deodorent on my arm to make a nitrogen burn. I had to keep my leg under water for 15 mins to stop the bleeding and take the chunks of skin and hair out of the razor. I feel peaceful at the moment but it will only be back.

    just wanted to talk/get it off my chest

    Johnny that really bad. If your self harming that bad its not good at all. Is there no-one you can talk too about things? You need to get some help or you might end doing something stupid. If you want to talk to me instead, drop me a PM.

    Danny, *hugs* mate you sound like your having a rough time at the moment. Hope you can work things out with your dad, and the job hunting is going okay.
  • Dr PirateDr Pirate Posts: 8,303 Legendary Poster
    Been off my meds too long, starting to lose all rational thought patterns.

    Such is life.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I did bad.

    It felt good whilst I did it, and I got a bit carried away.

    *sigh*

    So much for being better, then.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit,

    You ARE better, you just had a little slip up, it happens to all of us....Just treat it as that, and dont beat yourself up about it. I'm sure you know all this...sometimes we just have to be told :)

    Take care mate xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    I did bad.

    It felt good whilst I did it, and I got a bit carried away.

    *sigh*

    So much for being better, then.
    Oh honey :(. What happened?

    You know where I am and stuff, yeh?

    :heart: for you xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This morning I sat and looked out of my attic window for an hour. It would have been so much easier to just walk straight on out of it, and I nearly did.

    The only reason I didn't was because of the pain it would cause other people, I hate putting other people out just because of my problems, which is why i surprisd myself when I even posted here. Its only been this bad once before im just afraid its going to get worse.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    I did bad.

    It felt good whilst I did it, and I got a bit carried away.

    *sigh*

    So much for being better, then.

    Well I know you're having a bit of a hard time so maybe this is a way of coping, you remember how good it felt before and all that?

    Well don't need me to preach to you, you know how to overcome this yourself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yerascrote wrote:
    Well I know you're having a bit of a hard time so maybe this is a way of coping, you remember how good it felt before and all that?

    Well don't need me to preach to you, you know how to overcome this yourself.

    youre so right, i usually think of something good that has happened or make up some fantasy and that usually stops the urge to cut
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I slipped up last night too, but I know that it's due to stress and feeling worthless. Hugs Kermit.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your-babe wrote:
    I slipped up last night too, but I know that it's due to stress and feeling worthless. Hugs Kermit.
    Hugs to you too. You are not worthless at all Kirtsy! I'm crap and hardly been on MSN this week, I will try to talk to you this week. I'm just having a crappy time as well and dont really want to talk to anyone about it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote:
    What happened?

    Money and work stress got too much, I was really tired, and I just picked up a pair of scissors and started doing it. It felt nice, such a relief.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :( *hugs for you*

    You know where I am if you need to talk or owt, yeh?

    <3 x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hugs to you too. You are not worthless at all Kirtsy! I'm crap and hardly been on MSN this week, I will try to talk to you this week. I'm just having a crappy time as well and dont really want to talk to anyone about it.
    Cheers, I just feel a bit eurgh, it's got a lot to do with myself and the ex breaking up I think, I've never been through a breakup from a serious relationship before, so I'm a bit all over the place.
    Hugs to you x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your-babe wrote:
    Cheers, I just feel a bit eurgh, it's got a lot to do with myself and the ex breaking up I think, I've never been through a breakup from a serious relationship before, so I'm a bit all over the place.
    Hugs to you x

    Same as me then! (Well that and other things in my case!) Eurgh is a very good way to describe it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i cut myslef on friday cos i was so pissed of at myself and the world in general, but today when i did it it was just something that i did. yet afterwards its the same - feels a bit wierd. ive been relatively calm inside today but it still had that sort of effect on me today just as it calmed me down on friday.
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