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Depression and Self-Harming - Please read

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote:
    Boy doesn't like emo-Franki. FRANKI doesn't like emo-Franki.

    But Franki is also scared of the doctor :(.

    Last year when I was scared of going to the doctors you said this to me:

    "Right, miss. Pull yourself together...

    Second thing: go to the doctors. As soon as is humanly possibly, you're going to go to the doctors and you're going to tell them how you're feeling and you're going to ask for help. No more sitting around feeling sorry for yourself (and that's not a dig at you, I used to do it as well). If you don't go, they can't help you. Just telling them will make you feel infinitely better, trust me...

    And if you don't listen to my advice, woman, you will have me ranting at you over and over again.

    Love ♥

    Franki xx"

    This is what you said to me late last year when I felt as you put it, "emo". What did you advise me to do? You advised me to go to the doctors despite being scared and you know what? At the time, it was the best thing I did. I felt so much better afterwards and as you have said yourself (you said it to me) you will feel so much better afterwards so you have no need to be scared. They are there to help.

    You've taken a brilliant step by booking a doctors appointment. Whether or not the boy likes the emo Franki or not shouldn't be relevant here. You have got to look after number 1 darlin, which is you.

    As for your essays, don't worry too much about them darling. It was a MOCK. I always do better in the real thing. Don't let this result stop you from getting the grade you are capable of. We all make mistakes. You have time to put the effort into the real thing.

    Please chin up hunni xxx

    PS- Sorry none of this helps. I'm just worried about you.
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    JsTJsT Posts: 18,268 Skive's The Limit
    *Stacey* wrote:
    L
    PS- Sorry none of this helps. I'm just worried about you.

    Of course it helps. You've managed to say exactly what I wanted to say and a hell of a lot more.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Andy - if anybody ATTEMPTS to take that hat away, I'll rip their bollocks off. I'm not gonna work any less hard than I was, but because I thought I did SO well in that exam, it's kinda made me think that if I thought I did well, and didn't, maybe I'm not good enough to be doing IB after all.


    Stace - I remember saying that to you...haha. I know I'll feel better after I go, but I'm just scared that it's not gonna work again. Like...seriously...this will be the *counts on fingers*...5th doctor I'll have seen about it. That scares me, because none of them have been able to help (granted, the last one I only saw once because the other was all booked up, and I met boy really soon after that, so I never went back to him...but meh).

    James - :heart: for you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Everyone has exams like that. If you've really done the work, when push comes to shove at the end of the year you'll be fine. It's all down to what you've done this year, it's all it's ever been. If you've done it, you'll be ok. If you haven't it will show. Exams can bite my bum anyway.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    urrrrrggg. i asked my friend to sleepover lastnight, so he went home to ask ** knowing he COULD be grounded still ** so i told him to ring me if he could come, and if he couldnt. so i waited all night, became blindingly obvious he wasnt coming, but by then it was too late to ask my other friend. now my other friend can sleep over tonight, but my parents want to do what they could of done last night!!! URRRRRRRGGGHHHHHHH :mad:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    People do give a shit. Lots of folk on here do, just for a kick off.

    I don't know what else to say really but people do care, honest.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    We do care sweetie. Hugs coming to you. xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki is silly. Franki (for some reason unknown to herself) burst the blisters where she lighter-burned herself. Franki now has an infection on her belly.

    Bollocks.

    Good job I'm going to the doctor on Tuesday, really.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote:
    Franki is silly. Franki (for some reason unknown to herself) burst the blisters where she lighter-burned herself. Franki now has an infection on her belly.

    Bollocks.

    Good job I'm going to the doctor on Tuesday, really.
    Aw hun *hugs*. I ALWAYS used to pick at scars. Was my way of reminding myself about them, and the feelings I used to have towards them. I'm not saying that's your reason at all, that's just why I did it. Never got an infection though, was fucking lucky really seeing as how I used to be.

    It's good that you're going to the Dr's though hun. Take care. x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think it was kind of a "you're a twat for doing this to yourself, you need to hurt more" type thing. Which is worse.

    Boooooo.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote:
    I think it was kind of a "you're a twat for doing this to yourself, you need to hurt more" type thing. Which is worse.

    Boooooo.
    Yeah. I used to have similar feelings, and found myself feeling so guilty I'd consider/do it again. Both are a very unpleasant cycle. *Hugs*.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know that one. It's shit. Although because it hurts SO MUCH right now, I'm not on a "I need to do it again" kick like I used to be.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    as a D&SH veteran i would like to report that i have not self harmed in 6 weeks :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    omg hi wrote:
    as a D&SH veteran i would like to report that i have not self harmed in 6 weeks :)
    OMGOSH well done Janeh :heart:.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    omg hi wrote:
    as a D&SH veteran i would like to report that i have not self harmed in 6 weeks :)
    That's really good! :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote:
    I know that one. It's shit. Although because it hurts SO MUCH right now, I'm not on a "I need to do it again" kick like I used to be.
    It can very shit. And extremly destructive. But it is REALLY good that you said that you feel you aren't on a "I need to do it again" kick. :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your-babe wrote:
    It can very shit. And extremly destructive. But it is REALLY good that you said that you feel you aren't on a "I need to do it again" kick. :thumb:
    That's purely because my belt is digging into it and it hurts as it is. Any more would just be agony.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote:
    That's purely because my belt is digging into it and it hurts as it is. Any more would just be agony.
    Each person interprets/views pain in a different way though. When I cut, just the feeling of clothing against it/rubbing it hurt so much, that I swore to myself that I wouldn't do it again, and that the pain was so great I wouldn't need to be reminded of it again. Didn't always work like that with me though.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I never usually do it bad enough for it to hurt this much. But right now it's actually making me want to cry or something.

    Oooooooooops.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote:
    I never usually do it bad enough for it to hurt this much. But right now it's actually making me want to cry or something.

    Oooooooooops.
    Crying is now my coping method- in private thou lol, SH used to be, but I find crying actually kinda therapetic(sp?), I know it may sound weird, but just helps me to get it out ocassionally.

    Anyways... early night, take care hun x. If you ever wanna PM me, or MSN me, then go ahead :)

    xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    rachie004 wrote:
    I know no one really gives that much of a shit but I HAVE to get this off my chest

    You know that's not true.

    Their are people who care and care quite a lot.

    Their are people, or a person who are willing to listen and who are willing to be their for you.

    Finding a person you can trust enough to open upto may be hard but when you do you have someone who you can be open & honest with and get anything off you're chest to.

    *hugs*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Burn. Infected. Ouch.

    Burn in fact so infected it's made me ill. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

    Doctors tomorrow. Also fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

    Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm on AD's again. The boy isn't happy. Fs. I'm just pissed off with everything now. Both boy and one of my friends were going on at me about how AD's are shit and I'll just get addicted to them and it won't help and it's like ARGH ffs.

    I just did a super long rant in my LJ as well :(.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote:
    Both boy and one of my friends were going on at me about how AD's are shit and I'll just get addicted to them and it won't help

    balls to that.

    without my good friend the anti depressant i would be dead.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    omg hi wrote:
    balls to that.

    without my good friend the anti depressant i would be dead.
    Yer. I shouted at Tash, saying that it's my problem pretty much, 'cause she was pissing me off most. Boy was convinced with a "would you rather have emo Franki or Franki on anti depressants?".
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote:
    I'm on AD's again. The boy isn't happy. Fs. I'm just pissed off with everything now. Both boy and one of my friends were going on at me about how AD's are shit and I'll just get addicted to them and it won't help and it's like ARGH ffs.

    I just did a super long rant in my LJ as well :(.

    There is nothing wrong with using AD's if you think that they are going to help you. It is your body, your mental health and your choice to take them or not and do not let yourself get swayed by thier personal opinions. If they cant accept that you are on them because of their opinions then they should back off and let you do what is right for you. Glad to hear you went to the doctors, I should really go back and get my head sorted out, but I hated the last one I went to see and he put me off asking for help again.
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    Dr PirateDr Pirate Posts: 8,303 Legendary Poster
    I've got a doc's appointment on friday, gonna see if I can get some AD's... might just help =\
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Was sick again today. So stupid. Don't know if I posted it in here in the beginning. Bollocks. Not telling the boyf. Or friends for that matter. 2 steps forward, 1 back. Haven't done it in a while- a week, possibly two :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your-babe wrote:
    Was sick again today. So stupid. Don't know if I posted it in here in the beginning. Bollocks. Not telling the boyf. Or friends for that matter. 2 steps forward, 1 back. Haven't done it in a while- a week, possibly two :(

    But thats the way everyone gets over it, you cant get better without slipping up, we all do it. Same as the s/h, just think you've not done it for so long and you can go that long again. *hugs* I'm okay at the moment, might not be this time tomorrow.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    freeallangels19 wrote:
    But thats the way everyone gets over it, you cant get better without slipping up, we all do it. Same as the s/h, just think you've not done it for so long and you can go that long again. *hugs* I'm okay at the moment, might not be this time tomorrow.
    Yeah, thanku. Just so pissed off with myself. I haven't slipped up with SH yet. I don't feel that me being sick is a problem at the mo thou, it never really was, it just happens, i get the thoughts, and then act on them. Not always the brightest thing to do.

    Glad you're ok. I'm... alright. Here is prob the best expression.
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