Depression and Self-Harming - Please read

Former Member

freeallangels19 wrote:

As I said on Anything goes, good to have you back. Hope things work out for you.

I've managed three months now without cutting. And the urges seem to be a lot less often. Still nowhere near coping the depression though.

3 months is amazing! I'm glad that the urges are less often, that's really good.

I've decided that I'm going to forget about how long I've lasted with no cutting, cos it seems that every time I think about how long I've gone, I just need it more. Will just have a look once in a blue moon in my diary to see when the last time was from now on.

The urges for me are less frequent, but way more intense. But oh well, I'm getting there (I think?!)

Former Member

http://www.boltoneveningnews.co.uk/search/display.var.734358.0.selfharm_dealing_with_a_big_problem.php

My dad is David Duffy, thought some of you might be interested to see that. For once i actually agree with him on something

Former Member

your-babe wrote:

3 months is amazing! I'm glad that the urges are less often, that's really good.

I've decided that I'm going to forget about how long I've lasted with no cutting, cos it seems that every time I think about how long I've gone, I just need it more. Will just have a look once in a blue moon in my diary to see when the last time was from now on.

The urges for me are less frequent, but way more intense. But oh well, I'm getting there (I think?!)

I found that with the urges as they dissapear they will come back more intemse, but I'm coping. I only remember its three months as it was about the same day of the meet that I did it for the last time in Jan.

Former Member

Six weeks gone bu byes...
I don't know whether to be proud for the 6 weeks or pissed at myself because it was all for nothing

Former Member

6 weeks is a long time. That is very imprssive and even if something did happen, you had all that time still. I'm proud.

Former Member

Lolzabeth wrote:

Six weeks gone bu byes...
I don't know whether to be proud for the 6 weeks or pissed at myself because it was all for nothing

Go with the pride - and try to get that to make you try again

That said, I fucked up at 19 weeks and haven't stopped again yet. Sigh. :yeees:

Former Member

every time means something, six weeks is better than no weeks and you know that,

I've noticed the times apart them are getting longer and slowly you seem better, its gone from days to a week to now over a month, Im so proud of you and it means so much to me ok, Trust me, BE proud because I am

Former Member

piccolo wrote:

Go with the pride - and try to get that to make you try again

That said, I fucked up at 19 weeks and haven't stopped again yet. Sigh. :yeees:

then take ya own wee advice then :P

Former Member

Hellfire wrote:

then take ya own wee advice then :P

Don't think I'm not trying, m'dear, and I'm really proud of how well I did and thrilled that I don't do it regularly any more :yes:

Former Member

oh I know you are trying

Former Member

Re: the link Doofay posted-its a shame other PCT's cant provide the same services,

Former Member

for duffy's dad

Former Member

I ain't been on these forums for about a month now but I haven't self harmed for longer than that! I've been great. I gave up negativity for lent and took up being positive instead.

I just decided that I had to sort myself out. I was talking to a friend who suggested that I went to see someone about how I was feeling, because as much as she couold support me, it was something I had to do myself.

I have never felt better, and I am genuinely very happy! Much thanks to everyone on this forum

But... now I've started to see an amazing guy. I think he might have noticed my scars on my wrist just the other day. They're few and quite faint but there's no mistaking that they're there. I'm not sure what I should do or say about it now, if anything.

Should I bring it up and tell him now that I've had problems with depression and self-harming in the past? I feel like maybe I should...as something of a warning, just in case I slip back into it one day. But at the same time, he's a wonderful person and I wouldn't forgive myself if I scared him away.
Or should I just wait and see if he asks or says anything at all about it?

Former Member

I'd say talk to him. You've called him wonderful and amazing which hints thats a probably a great guy, and thats fantastic about the positivity and non-self harming. I think tell him, explain it has been a problem but you're recovering and whatnot. I always prefer to tell people if I get close to them and they've always appreciated the honesty.

Former Member

Hmm... You make me seem more sure that I wanna tell him now, which is a good thing

It's just... the only other person I have ever told about my self-harming was a good friend of mine who did it too.

Thing is... (I just thought of this just now) that I'd be a bit scared that he might treat me slightly differently if he knew. Not in a bad way though! I'm sure that he'd treat me even more like a princess! But I just wanna be seen as just me. He knows me to be the new, happier me. So I should maybe just forget the past? Not that I think he wouldn't listen. I know he would.

Former Member

It really is up to you, it depends how important it is to you that he knows. Remember you don't have to tell him everything at once, you can just say you've had a few problems in the past etc.

Former Member

That's really great about the positivity and not self harming, IWishIWas, I'm glad to hear it
If you trust him I would tell him. If it all goes well he might be more upset if he finds out later rather than sooner. Just say there's something that you need to tell him and you hope he understands. Honesty is always the best way to go. Tell him you don't want him to treat you differently, you just thought he had a right to know.
Good luck!

Former Member

Yeah... I think that I might leave it for one of those conversations. We talk about everything, and I think if there was ever a point where I could bring it in, I would. Meanwhile, I don't think I'll just be springing it on him. At least, maybe not until we're together properly - if that ever happens!

Former Member

Good plan

Former Member

Lolzabeth wrote:

That's really great about the positivity and not self harming, IWishIWas, I'm glad to hear it
If you trust him I would tell him. If it all goes well he might be more upset if he finds out later rather than sooner. Just say there's something that you need to tell him and you hope he understands. Honesty is always the best way to go. Tell him you don't want him to treat you differently, you just thought he had a right to know.
Good luck!

Hmm... this is a fair point too!

Right... I think I should tell him. But I'll probably change my mind, and then change it back again!

Thanks for the luck though! I'll need it!

Former Member

IWishIWas wrote:

Hmm... this is a fair point too!

Right... I think I should tell him. But I'll probably change my mind, and then change it back again!

Thanks for the luck though! I'll need it!

You're very welcome

Don't panic about it. If he runs a mile then you're better off without him!
Whats the point of being with someone who can't accept you for who you are, past and all?!

Former Member

Lolzabeth wrote:

You're very welcome

Don't panic about it. If he runs a mile then you're better off without him!
Whats the point of being with someone who can't accept you for who you are, past and all?!

You're so right!

He doesn't seem like the guy that would wanna run a mile. He seems more likely to wanna give me a closer hug if I told him.

Let's just see how it goes.

I'll naturally keep you all updated!

Dr Pirate

However many times I post in here saying I need to stop... It's not going to change the fact that everytime I go out, I'm gonna want to drink.

I just don't know what to do anymore.

Former Member

Dr Pirate wrote:

However many times I post in here saying I need to stop... It's not going to change the fact that everytime I go out, I'm gonna want to drink.

I just don't know what to do anymore.

There's nothing wrong with having a few drinks when you go out. Just limit yourself. Only take enough money for a few drinks and give some money for travel and/or emergencies to someone who you trust not to spend it. If someone offers to buy you a drink then just say thanks but you'll get your own.

Find something you really want and put every spare penny you have towards saving up for it. That way you wont have any money to buy drink and you'll have your "new toy" at the end of it
The second one was what I did with my drug money :yes: Although I got too skint and had to spend it on food so I never got my "prize"...

Hope that helps.

Former Member

So... I told this guy that I had difficulty coping with depression. I didn't tell him right out that I self-harmed, but I wonder if he was thinking it.

Either way, he was nothing but wonderful to me.
I wish he was my boyfriend...

Former Member

I wish my life had a reset button.

Former Member

Well it doesn't. So put everything down, look at what you've got, pick up only what you need, and move on. That's what you can do, you can stand still wishing, or you can get going.

Former Member

IWishIWas wrote:

So... I told this guy that I had difficulty coping with depression. I didn't tell him right out that I self-harmed, but I wonder if he was thinking it.

Either way, he was nothing but wonderful to me

thats grand

Former Member

I really need some new distraction methods as nothing seems to work at the moment. I havent slipped up yet, but I dont think I'm that far off.

Former Member

One of my friends self harmed the other night.

She went to A&E to get stitched up.

She was just treated and sent home.

Is this normal? I mean, I would have thought someone would have saw her and spoke to her about why she did it and stuff but no, none of that happened and its just like surprised me.

Is this normal?