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Essential support for under 25s
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It is all about going and and meeting new people. Have you thought about a confidence coach? I know it might sound drastic, but they really can work wonders.
If I was you I would be tempted to jump in at the deep end. You dont really have anything to lose. Go out and get a job (part-time, evenings etc) where you have to speak with people to do your job. Face your fears head on, go and work in a youth club or something, you will be thrown in head first, but your confidence will increase ten fold. Your going to have to take some serious action unless you want to live like this for the foreseeable future.
Your going to have to fight for what you want, nothing comes for free.
:thumb:
Thats where a confidence coach can help. They will be able to help you practice having conversations and give you guidance of things to ask. Its all about practice once you have got over your anxiety towards others.
Getting a customer service job does sound like a good idea, you also get to met new people as well. Making small talk is something thats gets better with practise.
I have a Job although Its not really one where you can talk to people though, Far to busy for that. And unfortuantely my serious action has fallen flat on its face.
Im sorry its taking everything I have to try and keep it all together let alone doing anything more.
You have to keep trying, what is the alternative ?
What type job are you doing now? Have you thought about maybe working in a bar or shop or something at weekends? Its not about the job, but getting the chance to talk with others. Working in a bar would let you chat to customers and force you to make conversation. After a while you will be wondering what you were worried about.
I work as a kitchen porter on weekends as I was at Uni. But they are calling on me to do more hours while people are off so I dont think I'll be able to do any other jobs without clashes. Sorry that sounds like a massive get out clause.
I would consider changing jobs if you can. Working where you do probably suits you as you dont have to make conversations with strangers i.e. your in your comfort zone. Unfortunatley you going to have to leave you comfort zone in order to practice talking and striking up conversations with new people. But your not going to achieve what you want by staying in that comfort zone.
Look at it this way, you can do a job and earn money, but it would be clever if you could use your job to not just to earn money but help you with a problem (i.e. your lack of confidence)
What about working as a Avon or Anne Summers rep, or even just helping or shadowing somebody else. Dont worry about making lots of money, but use it as a chance to practice you conversations skills with others. Its informal so you shouldnt feel so pressured.
I know it sounds mad, and your probably thinking 'no fucking chance', but if you want to improve your confidence you have to take radical action. Nothing is going to change without 110% on your part.
Best of luck :thumb:
try and do whatever you can to get out and be sociable. I live in a building where theres a communal living room and office, and i come down most nights and talk to people and watch TV and stuff...i don't always get on with the people infact, i had a row with another neighbour but it gets me out of my flat
i have to say i often start convos with people that look interesting on the tube, just for some convo...i really don't have many friends...
I could change jobs but i'd feel really bad about it because it'd be like letting everyone there down. I know that sounds like an excuse as well but i've been there for a while now and have helped train most of the other KP's there and they seem to be relying on me to pick up the time when other people are away and stuff.
I know it would be a good idea to change but truth be told this is my first job ever and i wouldnt really know what kind of job to look for or even where to look for it. I mean ive looked at volunteering but again i just don't know what im looking for as I'm just not enthusiastic about anything.
You have to do what is best for you. I realise you would feel bad if you left because they have spent time training you, but you have to make you decision based on what is best for you. Its not selfish to leave for another job, because you stand to gain more.
I would try doing something which is really going to test you, and take you out of your comfort zone. Maybe work in a bar, busy shop, hotel reception, restaurant or coffee shop perhaps you could volunteer at a youth club or shadow a party rep (Avon etc). This is going to be a challenge as you will have to speak with people all day every day. Its all about experience. The more you speak with people the more you will learn and the more you will feel at ease talking to people.
But you have to want to work on your confidence first and foremost. Its not going to be easy as it means your going to have to operate out of your comfort zone, but it does get easier. The sooner you start making changes the sooner your likely to start seeing results.
Best of luck :thumb:
Ouch! Are you alright now?
RG- hey hope you're feeling a bit better now. As someone already said, make sure your cuts are clean and dressed. is there anyone close that you can chat too and get advice from? just remember, it will get better, you just need time and someone to talk to who is there always. *hugs*
xxx
May seem a little random but have been doing some thinking.
I just wanted to say thanks to the people who have been listening to me on here. I really appreciate it. my depression has gotten alot better and have actually began to get more confident.
thanks
its what we're here for and you are so supportive of others so thank you too.
god im so lonely...its the one thing everyone has or has had except me
And no Ive never had a girlfriend, so your not the only one.
It happens when it happens. You just cant predict/force relationships. This may sound harsh, but if your have confidence, a social life and dont just sit in on your own the whole time your a lot more likely to meet someone.
you know what, i don't have confidence...every time i pluck up the courage to do something 'positive', i'm knocked back down, and it's usuallly my fault.
i suppose it's difficult for people to understand who aren't in that position
god i wish i could sort myself out
thanks firefly-86