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Dating websites
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I have an erection for two hours every day - it's not a side-issue. I didn't say that they all want sex on the first date, but I want to find those who do. I want sex on the first date, which is commonplace and perfectly normal.
I don't want to get to know people; it's not necessary in order to have sex. I want sex-centred relationships. I want fuck buddies, not prostitutes - I'm poor. The Site approves of fuck buddies, that's why it has a non-judgmental article entitled fuck buddies - which suggests to chat about fuck buddies on this forum. I'm certainly in the right place to talk about fuck buddies. The reason I came to this forum was because I asked in the Q&A service how to get fuck buddies. The advisor didn't tell me how, but instead recommended that I come here to ask about how to get fuck buddies.
On my last one night stand conversation included music, rugby union, politics and the Clangers...
How did you transition the conversation from those things to sex?
Yes, it is. Even if it's just for a few hours. You keep thinking of sex and relationships (I use that word in the more generic sense, not the romantic sense) as two separate entities when they always come hand in hand in some way or another.
When meeting someone at a party or nightclub, then having sex with them on the same night, it's likely to be minutes later that you have sex with them rather than hours later. That's not getting to know someone well first.
The Site does not say that people have to, or should, know each other well before having sex. The Site approves of casual sex. Wanting casual sex is perfectly normal and does not make someone a misogynist.
However many minutes or hours it is, what's a good topic of conversation to open with? I've read on many sources that chat-up lines don't work. Once I've begun a conversation, how do I move the conversation from that non-sexual topic to sex?
You cannot teach someone human interaction via a few messages on an online forum. Let me put it into another analogy: Sex or human interaction is like a fine wine. Wine derives it's taste from several hundred ingredients, often in the microgram scale most of which have been identified by modern methods of analysis. Yet you would never get a good wine by weighing in those ingredients and mixing them together in water and alcohol in the right amounts, you still do it over fermentation of grapes.
You want us to tell you about those nuanced ingredients in wine "what should I say, what should I wear, what should I do to maximize my success with women." There is NO SUCH FORMULA. We could tell you "0,03g antocynin A per liter, 0,00004g acetoacetic acid vanillin ester, etc." and you had all these little tidbits but still would not have wine. We tell you to go the normal route via fermentation of the grape, but you don't like that, it's arduous and longwinded. You try to find the shortcut that does not exist. Your social interaction is so weak due to your autism that you are like a toddler in a formula one car. I can explain you what all the levers, buttons and pedals do but you can never drive the damn thing, because it needs training. People talk to each other, develop their conversation, have funny and exciting stories, because they HAPPENED to them. You ask, "what kind of things can I say to a woman to increase my chances. What funny stories can I tell to make her laugh and want me more." These questions are like questions about the seemingly minuscule amounts of certain ingredients in wine. That knowledge will never help you have a palatable wine.
Your views and obsessions make you into an undesirable human being and you cannot fake over that with tips and hints people tell you over the Internet.
You seem to not be getting that over and over again we said the same thing. I don't understand. You said this before about having a sexual relationship when being direct about asking for it isn't a good idea. That's what the problem is.
I know you don't wanna wine and dine someone and that's fine. Though you cant ask a girl to have sex with you straight away when you need to get to know them. That's why you got be interested in what they got to say and that you show them that your you.
This is about getting to know someone first then just asking them for sex. It's not gonna help things if you do
That's why the dating websites I think isn't a good idea for now as its not worked for you before. Some people it works for some people doesn't.
You need to go out and socialise with people as your gonna find it more beneficial then before.
That's what you need to do.
I dont complain about how I'm feeling.
Keep going round I'm circles
You don't see us complaining.
I am sure someone will correct me if I am wrong; but I have a feeling that most fuck buddies start off as friends.
I don't know where you found this piece of information, but it's utter bullshit to be frank.
When meeting someone at a party or club, they tend to spend the night talking and drinking together, it happens over hours not minutes. They don't just walk up to someone that they want to fuck and expect it to happen without any conversation happening between them first.
:yes:
I haven't seen any research in to this, but I'd be very surprised if that were true. Friends with benefits typically have a regular friendship first, then add no-strings sex to their dynamic. A crucial difference between the two scenarios is that fuck buddies only have no-strings sex, whereas FWBs have friendship plus no-strings sex. It would be unlikely that two good friends would want to lose their friendship when starting to have sex with each other, but if fuck buddies were never friends, there's no loss. That's why I think that fuck buddies are typically strangers, classmates, colleagues or neighbours first, but not friends. The article fuck buddies gives no information as to how the situation starts, which I'd expected to find in the article.
I saw my colleague at the time approach a stranger in a nightclub and have sex with her in his car minutes later. The music in the club was too loud for me to be able to hear what was said between them. He was overweight, lazy, irresponsible, unreliable etc. Despite that, he was usually the most popular and dominant person wherever he went. He wasn't warm, empathic or caring - quite the opposite, he was close to meeting the criteria of narcissistic personality disorder.
Nothing funny or exciting has ever happened to me. My life has consisted of being deprived, victimised and frustrated. How can I arrange for funny and/or exciting things to happen to me in order that I can use them as anecdotes to get sex?
It makes no evolutionary sense, let alone common sense, that a man telling anecdotes makes women sexually attracted to and sexually stimulated by him. Storytelling doesn't make a person a good partner or good parent.
There are no magic words, though, as each woman is different.
And yet again we go round in circles.
There have been people saying that you need to get to know someone before having sex which is really important. As I said again and again you need to get to know someone.
You need to be interested in what they got to say and show that your you. You have to get to know someone by talking to them and having a drink without asking them direct for sex. That is not right
It depends what you wanna do by knowing someone so you don't have to wine and dine them but you got to be interested in what they got to say.
Again going out and socialising is gonna benefit you more then anything else.
That's why the online dating you been there and done that but the question you wanted to answer about what should I write on my opening messages on dating websites is saying hi how are you, I saw your profile and you seem really cute and down to earth but not saying can I have sex with you. That's what you got to do
The other question was how can I arrange for funny and exciting things when I'm about to have sex. You got to know the person first as that's where the laughter and exciting getting to know them will happen and then it will happen.
You can say anything really from the above but not can I have sex with you that's the problem.
You don't see me complaining
Going round in circles
I've been not well having constant diaherra and people not been feeling well.
Not complaining
Keep going round in circles
No one can give you the advice/algorithm/logical process that you're looking for because it doesn't exist.
No coz you don't listen. I've offered advice and you've criticised it and so have loads of other people. Why the fuck should we waste our time when you aren't even taking any note of what people are saying/advising you!!!!
You need serious help from a professional you've a fucked up perception of sex and women.
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You haven't offered alternatives regarding what to write in opening messages; why not give an example? Likewise, you've said that you've had many fuck buddies, yet haven't given a clue as to where you met them, or how it started. How did you ask each one to be your fuck buddy? It's not a natural progression, so you must have raised the topic with them for it to happen.
You haven't tried to offer me advice in any of your posts. You've merely insulted me for wanting to have sex. You expect me to waste a huge amount of time, money and effort. You're telling me that I'm wrong to want to have normal sex. You're choosing to go onto a sex-positive site, where you're saying that the desire to have sex is wrong.
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Are you blind??? Advice there.
Please find where it states 'sex is wrong'?
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Agreed.
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