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I wonder how she responded and if you feel you have the support of this friend now? Has it helped you even in a small way?
Things are clearly really hard with your mum and it's natural to want to feel loved by her. For your mum to say those awful things about you it sounds like she might be going through some difficult emotions herself or at least is communicating in a really unhelpful way.
That doesn't make it okay but as Indrid says, some space from her might help to protect your own wellbeing. The future is always open to possibility where that is concerned even if right now it feels that you'll never be close.
Take it easy today
I want everything to end, I need my life to end...