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Suicidal..

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No one that is abused deserves to die, is it never your fault if someone else hurts you. You need to find a safe place if you're in Bristol try these guys - http://www.indigoproject.co.uk/ if she still works there, ask for Helen and tell her i sent you. It's really really important right now that you find somewhere safe and people to talk to.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Miss_Riot's suggestion is really good. I think I've mentioned Rape Crisis to you before, as well, but they might be able to offer some support.
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    ReenaReena Posts: 1,375 Wise Owl
    No it isn't, I know you feel it is, but you're not to blame.
    We can't choose the family we are born in to, your family didn't deserve you, you're too good for them.
    As for social services, (not that I'm defending them because taking that long is awful) but it's not like how it used to be. There is so much red tape and nonsense to go through that social workers hands are tied. Where as in the past, one word and you'd be out of there.

    None of this is your fault, you didn't ask to be born, to be stuck with vile humans as family, you deserved help that didn't come.
    Would you say it was the zebra's fault for being chased by the lions? For being born a zebra? That zebra can't be at fault for being the prey that lions chase, just like you can't be at fault for the actions of others around you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ive had a look at the links..

    I begged my social workers to take me out, I begged school...My brother had put me in hospital repetidly...but they never did anything..
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    They let you down. It doesn't mean you don't deserve more, it doesn't mean you don't deserve better. Because you do, you have done amazing things, and you can carry on doing that. It would almost be revenge to live and find a way to be happy after the things that were done to you. Your mum said she wanted you dead, why give her the satisfaction?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Make her happy?. something I've never been able to do...

    amazing things?..
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, well you got that award didn't you? That's not nothing. You went back to your parents house to care for your dad despite the abusive atmosphere, that's extremely brave and selfless. You ordered and sold charity bracelets to raise awareness in honour of your friends, plenty of people wouldn't have even thought of that.

    You're still going, despite everything that's happened to you, you're still going. I'm impressed. So keep going, keep doing amazing things, grow, learn, LIVE. Marry Jessie J.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I guess I've not thought of it like hat...I just did what needed to be done...

    Live?...I'm living..but not enjoying it...I guess I'm just breathing..
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Emmalee wrote: »
    I guess I've not thought of it like hat...I just did what needed to be done...

    Live?...I'm living..but not enjoying it...I guess I'm just breathing..

    Well at the moment, just breathing is good enough. If you carry on just surviving for a while longer, things will start to change and you will be able to be happy. Concentrate on being alive for now, and enjoying it will come later.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've been "just breathing" for ages...

    seems to be just getting shittier..
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Emmalee wrote: »
    I guess I've not thought of it like hat...I just did what needed to be done...

    What needs to be done now?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Did you contact indigo? I can find other places if needs be. And remember you have my number and please don't be afraid of using it!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote: »
    What needs to be done now?

    I need to get help?.

    I haven't contacted them yet due to being busy, I'll be contacting them tomorrow, Thanks MR.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you've carried on before because of what needs doing, then maybe you should think of some more things that you need to do.

    Tour a glacier in Iceland and see the northern lights
    Learn to ride a motorbike
    Get a degree

    ?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Get a degree? we both know I'm to stupid to even go to uni..let alone graduate.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I wouldn't have suggested it if I didn't think you could. But that's not really the point. What do YOU want to do?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What I want to do and what I can do are different...

    I want to become a social worker for looked after children as a career, Get a place to live in a city where i dont have family..and where nobody knows me..(except my friend im staying with)...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Deep down, Em, I know you don't want to die. You want everything to stop and be away from all the shit the world has.

    I've known you for a while, and you ALWAYS pull through, that shows your strength. You're reaching out, which means you want to get help, and that you want the support to get better and achieve everything you possibly can and to fulfil your potential.

    You can do anything you put your mind too, getting a degree is possible, it may seem impossible and that you're incapable of even getting there, but that's because at the moment all you see is this darkness and no hope for things to ever get better. (Correct me if I'm wrong)

    Keep holding onto hope, Em. You can do this, and you can get through this. :heart:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Emmalee wrote: »
    What I want to do and what I can do are different...

    I want to become a social worker for looked after children as a career, Get a place to live in a city where i dont have family..and where nobody knows me..(except my friend im staying with)...

    You can do that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry..

    Done...

    Bye.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You can achieve anything you just have to believe in yourself <3
    Please get medical help if you need it. Your life is worth more than you believe right now.

    Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My lifes worth nothing...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I disagree
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Agree with Fiend.

    I know everything I say means nothing, but go forward and ask for as much help as you need. Even, if like me you're faced with hospital admission, it's for the best and will help you as much as possible..

    Keep on going....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm struggling really bad right now. Ive told my friend about my thoughts and how horrible I have been feeling lately which was really hard to do.

    Im staying at someone else's house today with my friend and the first thing I packed was my blades. Mums carrying on to tell everyone ive died or that she doesn't have a daughter called emily ive lost everyone...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Emmalee :wave:

    It was very brave of you to tell your friend about how you have been feeling and the thoughts that you have been thinking :heart: Did it help talking to your friend about it?

    You haven't lost everyone even if it feels like that. It can be hard for parents to know and see their children going through what you are going through and the words she uses maybe not the best ones but it could be a fear in her and that is why it comes out different.

    You are doing well in telling on your thread what you are feeling and remember we are here to support you *hug**hug*

    purple_rain
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I sent it to her in an inbox on Facebook since I was to scared to say it to her face.

    my mum means it. She definitely does, she hates me to the point that she can't stand the fact that im alive
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    Don't concern yourself with people like that, they're not even worth one second of your time.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I guess I can't help it,

    Wanting to feel loved and accepted and wanted by someone who should, but knowing i never will be..
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    That's understandable. But I think it's pointless to focus your needs in that direction, you probably should look elsewhere where there would be a point.
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