Suicidal..

Former Member

:banghead:

Feeling so flipping low! I hate this...flashback after flashback,causing so much emotional pain, The suicidal thoughts are back and they're back SO! bad, I can't cope, I don't know what to do. I feel like it's the only option now, Probably is..infact it is. Life gets better? ha does it frig it gets harder and harder as it goes on! I'm done with it, Feeling really really suicidal, Self harming worse everyday and starving myself..because I'm just a fuck up, I hate life, I hate my life..I don't want to be alive anymore!

So distressed

Former Member

Hi Emmalee,

It sounds like things are tough for you at the moment and are feeling very low:(, sorry to hear this, what are the flashbacks you mentioned ? It sounds like these are distressing for you. Sometimes it can be very difficult to cope with what life throws at us and different people will cope in different ways, it can feel hopeless and like there is no way out sometimes but remember there is always strength to pull us through the hard times.

Have you spoken to anyone about how you are feeling ? A close friend or family member ? or a counsellor/ therapist ? If not it may be worth giving this a go. You could also contact the Samaritians on 08457 909090 who provide a confidential emotional support. You also always have us here at The Site:).

I hope things start to look up for you soon and Please keep posting and let us know how you are getting on.

Tc.
B

Former Member

I came on here to post a thread, about how i was feeling, this sums it up.
I can't offer any support, as things are just as shit.
But i can say, others are in the same boat, don't give up.

Former Member

Flashbacks of abuse...raghhh!

I spoke to a woman yesterday Hannah, she's a camhs practitioner it was for an assesment then monday we're having an extended assesment, her contract ends in febuary, she actually made me feel so crap that I'm glad that when I get a proper therapist she won't be it..

Former Member

Hi Emmalee

That's such a shame that you don't find your camhs worker easy to talk to. It must be hard to suddenly have to open up to a stranger, and if you don't click with them I'm sure it makes it even harder. Try to stick with it - I know others here find their camhs workers really helpful, so hopefully you will manage to build up a trusting relationship with the next one.

The flashbacks sound quite frightening - did you tell Hannah about those too? I've just done a little searching and found this guide to coping with flashbacks - you may have read this kind of thing before, but if you haven't then it might help to have a few practical ideas to try next time it happens.

http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/CopingwithFlashbacks.pdf

Really hope things start to look brighter soon.

Spanner *hug*

Former Member

Thats the thing, she isn't a camhs worker. she's ending her contract in febuary after she's done a extended assesment with me then In 24 weeks I'd get an appointment for adults, so..bit pointless. she didn't listen to a word I said..i didnt get a chance to tell her anything really she just said about what she knew

Former Member

Feel miles worse now :banghead:
Can't...do this anymore

Former Member

You can get through this Em.

You are stronger than you think.

Reena

Haven't got anything new to say, everyone has pretty much said what I would have. But I wanted to tell you you're right, life is absolutely hard and can get harder, but there isn't just hardship, there are good things too. If I had given in to my suicidal feelings as a teenager, I wouldn't have know the joys I have had since the counseling.
I'm not going to say it gets better, but maybe it can become balanced. -A mix of good and bad, hopefully more good than bad.
I've found that the positives in my life help lessen the negative.
Thinking of you hun. xx *hug*

Former Member

I give up with this crap...I can't cope with it anymore..

I'm just..done

Former Member

Hey... so sorry to read this. Has anything happened to make you feel this way today?
I've read a lot of your threads and posts on here and I know you're really strong. Try to hold on to that - however bad things may feel there is lots to live for and you've got lots to give.
*hug*

Former Member

Don't feel wanted anymore anywhere. The hostels a joke. Families a joke. My full lifes a joke...I feel like I've got nobody anymore, I don't feel wanted anywhere..where I lives turned into ww3..everyone has turned on me..I don't even know why, I just really need to get out of there...I need to get out of here, If i walk past any of my family..they turn around and walk the other way or cross the road cause they don't want a thing to do with me, someones made me feel horrible about myself...and I've had people screaming at me to go 'off myself' and 'Cut deeper'...

Former Member

Hold on buddy, you've got that big move soon. Life is just starting!

Former Member

It sounds like you're surrounded by a lot of negativity at the moment - both in your hostel and with your family. Is there any way you can create a bit of space between yourself and your family? I know you go back to look after your dad, but sometimes you need to think about your own self-preservation and take a step away. Maybe if you weren't there doing all that you do they would start to appreciate what they're missing?

From what Fiend says it sounds like you have a move planned - how long away is that? Can you try to focus on that as a new start?

Former Member

I'll try fiend..

The moves end of march beginning of april time. I do have space I guess...all the space I want since they no longer want anything to do with me or as my parents said it "You're dead in my eyes". I don't return to their house to take care for dad anymore..I haven't for a month now, and as far as I know they're happy..they've changed their locks as I own a key, they've changed their number...So..hey'o

Former Member

I just can't see any other way out

Former Member

I am same way right now.I feel like cutting and no one to talk it.

Former Member

I've self harmed, I feel crap...Low, desperate, Looking at hundreds of suicidal photos, Feel rubbish...bad thoughts://

Former Member

I feel very ill and need to sleep now, but please try and get through tonight. If you start to feel really unsafe or dangerous then take yourself to hospital if possible. You are a wonderful person, and there are lots of people who care about you very much... maybe find something more positive to look at than the photos, like a video of Jessie J concert on youtube xxxxx

Former Member

I've tried everything. I don't know what to do (

Former Member

Talk to people.
If you're registered at a GP get an appointment and talk to him/her and they may refer you for counselling sessions.

No one can do anything unless you help yourself.

Former Member

the 'I've tried everything' litreally meant..I've tried everything.

i just need megan. Its not fair. i just need her

Former Member

If you go to a gp and say how you have been feeling its bad practice for them to not help.
They have a duty of care.

Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2

Former Member

GPs will help as much as they can. If YOU tell them you would benefit from counselling he/she will put a referral in.

Former Member

Also, you still get income right? (By looking at your other threads) and you say you don't have to pay rent? So, if you go on this http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/ and then there's some counsellors that will do lower prices if you're on income/a student.

Former Member

I've been referred for counselling

Former Member

Then it's a waiting game.
Just like it was when you was in Hull and so nearly got the help you wanted.

Best of luck.

Former Member

It took a year for me just to get an assessment in hull.
I don't have that amount of time.

I cant do this anymore

Former Member

That's your choice. No one can change your mind or thoughts. Only you can do that.
Same as a professional can't change your thoughts, only you can.

There's helplines out there.

Former Member

Emmalee wrote: »

It took a year for me just to get an assessment in hull.
I don't have that amount of time.

I cant do this anymore

I think you should go back and see your GP again, tell them that it is urgent. Are you on medication at all? Do you think that could help while you wait for counselling?

Also, is there a samaritans drop in centre in your town? I find them very helpful when things are getting really bad xxx

Former Member

*sophiepea* wrote: »

That's your choice. No one can change your mind or thoughts. Only you can do that.
Same as a professional can't change your thoughts, only you can.

There's helplines out there.

I don't think being suicidal is a "choice". Mental health is an illness, just like cancer, and there's no one out there who thinks "I'd really love to have cancer" just like there's no one who thinks "I want to be suicidal". I think you need to be more supportive in your attitude, these boards are full of very vulnerable people and if you do not feel able to support them then I think you need to avoid replying to threads regarding mental health for a while.