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Help? **Triggering**
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Please, I can't do this. I'm shaking and crying and I can't breathe properly and I can't do it anymore. I don't know what to do. I need help.
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It sounds like you might he having a panic attack possibly due to feeling overwhelmed with everything at the moment? Can you concentrate on your breathing for a little while?
I'm here to listen if you want to share anything about how you're feeling at this point in time...
It's possible that your Dad fell into a way of thinking that made him feel utter despair and that nothing would be OK, when our thought processes get trapped, its sadly the case that without being open to talk or to reason, we can't push away the most damaging thoughts.
Have you bought any self-help books related to bereavement since your Dad died? Having something like a trusted book that you can turn to when you're having a crisis point can be comforting, because it can be hard to distract yourself from painful thoughts, but something like that can help you to untangle the knot in your head a bit.
Have you got any herbal tea in the house?
I've read a lot on bereavement by suicide. It was helpful at first but it never really gets across just how intense it feels.
I'm in bed with a thick jumper and duvet but still shaking. I just want someone to make this go away? Please?
I know you've found music to help a little recently, have you got anything on now?
Have you tried calling the Samaritans tonight?
Do you like it? I really like liquorice tea but that probably makes me a weirdo camomile would probably be best for now so I'd recommend getting some in next day or so if you can.
I had music on before but it didn't help and I've tried Reading as a distraction but I can't focus.
I can't call them but I have sent them an email.
Lol not really...but I haven't had it in years so I might give it a go
I'm glad you've emailed Sams, aware that taking that next step to calling them is daunting, maybe its something we can talk about in a chat session with others sometime.
Everytime the urge to think of a destructive plan comes into your head, try to replace it with something constructive:
-Plan in your head something you'll bake
-something to help others you'll create
-A relationship that you'll celebrate
-A building you'll renovate
- A chance to learn more about those that you rate...
There's so much you've yet to learn and experience, each thing allowing you to understand your current experience differently.
Goodnight WL, breathe well
That plan rhymes lol...I will try and think of it in future...it helps stop the constant flow of suicidal thoughts.
Thanks for calming me down...good night, sleep well x
*hug* Let us know how you get on.
Panic attacks are horrible, scary things, but they are temporary, and they are treatable.
Helen has offered some amazing and practical advice in her posts here. She's also said some truths - we are still here and supporting you because we believe in you. Most of us have some experience of this to varying degrees, and we have got through it. We're here to remind you of that during the dark times.
I feel extremely guilty about the fact that you are all supporting me so much...I should learn to just either get on with it or actually be successful at ending everything because it really isn't fair.
Now I have to find an emergency dentist because I've pulled my tooth away from the gum and in agony and don't have a dentist :rolleyes:
Thanks B-A; I've just googled them and got the number for the out of hours dentist and will ring them when they open.
Hope it gets sorted forgot to say in my last post, please don't feel guilty or anything about asking for help from us- or anyone else for that matter. We're all happy to give support as much as we can
Grief does not behave how it is supposed to. (I think that's copyright Fiend, but I'm not sure). There is no "Should just get on with it and be normal". Yes, death happens every day, but this situation is not normal. It's not normal for people to lose their parents so young, it's not normal for it to be during suicide, it's not normal for the daughter to be supporting her parent following the death. But it is still possible to get through it. You just need a bit of help - but you also have to be willing to accept it.
Do you remember the links and advice we gave you back in one of your other threads? Would you find any of them helpful at the moment?
I am trying on the "accepting help" thing - It's a pride thing and I think I'm slowly learning to accept it - it's just hard when I've been so independent. But I guess its like the "being nice to yourself" thing - I also need to work on that! I have no expectations from Cruse - I will go and just be as honest as I can be...
Yep - I have some wellbeing podcasts saved to my favourites that I was sent in chat as well - I will use them - I have bought Kalms tablets as suggested - only reason I havent taken them yet is because I need an emergency dental appt and I didn't want to take them and then find I can't take any pain relief they can give me for my tooth! As soon as that is sorted, I'll take them
Also read lots of things on the internet about coping with panic attacks and methods to get them under control, I have emailed Samaritans whenever I've felt the urge to do something stupid and I'm trying to make sure that I get an early night, etc because although I'm not sleeping well at least it means I'm resting.
As I said to Helen - I've also read a lot on bereavement by suicide which has helped in terms of what to expect but doesn't ever really say how intense everything feels. I also need to work through the guilt I feel about it because thats literally eating away at me at the moment!
You're not being selfish for thinking that way. We're here for you hun. xx
I emailed Samaritans - I can't call them...
I don't think the tablets I'm taking are helping matters because of the side effects.
Would you be able to change them?
Are you on mental health meds? What are you on and what dosage? Give me a PM if you don't want to post on the boards but it's something I've become a slight expert on now... been through quite a few of them.
Normally it'll take 2 to 3 weeks for the meds to settle down, and then your side effects will lessen and the meds will start working.
I will say though, it is not very likely you could kill yourself with mental health medication. You'll just get horrible side effects, so please don't try it. I ended up in hospital hooked up to an ECG machine because my heart beat wouldn't slow down. It's awful.
Don't give up, you are a wonderful person with so much going for you. I know things are really difficult, but there are people who can help you through this