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Anyone ever done this...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
...Picture this. You're out on a drunken friday night. All your mates have pulled or have their girlfriends with them, and with the effect of the alcohol, you feel particularly lonely and left out. So, when you get home, you start thinking about how you can change things, and decide to text some girl in your phone who you maybe met a while back but never really thought twice about. Maybe she isn't perfect, and maybe you'll get a bit of stick from your friends because she's a bit of a munter or something, but you think she's okay and your tired of being alone right now. Then, the next morning they've text back and you think "oh shit, what did I do that for, I'm gonna get laughed down for going out with her", so you give her some bullshit excuse like "oh my friend nicked my phone and started texting everyone for a laugh, sorry about that", then you live with the guilt for a few days. The thing is you do actually like this person, you're just afraid of what others would think if you went out with them. Well, I must have done that a few times in my life and admittedly, it's very shallow and very pathetic, but the drunkeness brings it out. Well, this weekend, I think that for once, I was on the receiving end of such an act.
I had added my recruitment agent to my facebook and sent a couple of messages to her previously and when she asked why I had added her, I didn't hesitate to tell her that I had taken a bit of a shine to her when she had interviewed me. She seemed to take the compliment okay, but at the same time didn't seem particularly interested. Fair enough, I thought. Anyway, I checked my facebook saturday afternoon, and she had sent a message to me at 2.00 am. T'was a very flirty message asking if I wanted to watch the rugby final with her, kiss kiss, bla bla, etc... Anyway, I said I had plans, but thanks for the offer - If you do want to do something sometime though, just text me. I didn't hear a peep until I checked this morning, and she had sent me a message saying a friend had guessed her password and sent silly messages to some of her friends. I immediately thought "ahh that old chestnut!". I am convinced this is a case of what I described above. I reckon she woke up the next day and thought something along the lines of "Oh no, why'd I do that. Nothing can happen hear - I'm 2 years older than him, I'm his agent etc", and then she needed 2 days to come up with the old excuse. Anyway, I was tempted to bring it all up, but thought "nah it's not worth it", so I just took it on the chin and replied back "ahh, don't worry about it, no problem". Since then, we've been messaging all day and the convo has been getting deeper, and I'm convinced she's into me. Another sign was that she emailed me about a job earlier, when in the past she has always called me. To embarressed to call? I dunno.
Now, I know this all seems like child's play, messing around with daft messages and stuff, but I actually really like this girl and we actually seem to have loads in common. We're into the same music, sport and going out to the same sort of places etc, so I actually really want to do something about this. How do I crack her? What's my next move? Has anyone else had similar experiences? Thanks for any advice...
I had added my recruitment agent to my facebook and sent a couple of messages to her previously and when she asked why I had added her, I didn't hesitate to tell her that I had taken a bit of a shine to her when she had interviewed me. She seemed to take the compliment okay, but at the same time didn't seem particularly interested. Fair enough, I thought. Anyway, I checked my facebook saturday afternoon, and she had sent a message to me at 2.00 am. T'was a very flirty message asking if I wanted to watch the rugby final with her, kiss kiss, bla bla, etc... Anyway, I said I had plans, but thanks for the offer - If you do want to do something sometime though, just text me. I didn't hear a peep until I checked this morning, and she had sent me a message saying a friend had guessed her password and sent silly messages to some of her friends. I immediately thought "ahh that old chestnut!". I am convinced this is a case of what I described above. I reckon she woke up the next day and thought something along the lines of "Oh no, why'd I do that. Nothing can happen hear - I'm 2 years older than him, I'm his agent etc", and then she needed 2 days to come up with the old excuse. Anyway, I was tempted to bring it all up, but thought "nah it's not worth it", so I just took it on the chin and replied back "ahh, don't worry about it, no problem". Since then, we've been messaging all day and the convo has been getting deeper, and I'm convinced she's into me. Another sign was that she emailed me about a job earlier, when in the past she has always called me. To embarressed to call? I dunno.
Now, I know this all seems like child's play, messing around with daft messages and stuff, but I actually really like this girl and we actually seem to have loads in common. We're into the same music, sport and going out to the same sort of places etc, so I actually really want to do something about this. How do I crack her? What's my next move? Has anyone else had similar experiences? Thanks for any advice...
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Comments
You will what?!
Anyway, onto your situation, if you get a flirty msg and then a bit later the fob off 'oh my mate hacked in', it doesn't necessarily mean they thought it was a bad idea and were drunk, it could mean they got the impression you're not interested if you either don't reply in time or reply 'what'? I use "that old chesnut" a bit and basically hope for a positive response, if I don't get one I'd claim it was someone else lol.
Lick Her
Hmmm, okay
If you're really into her then go for it. Do you want to be old and lonely thinking what if....?
I remember a thread you made before about things your were sorry about or regretted in some way. In a years time you might be writing another list and saying how you regretted not asking her out, do you really want that ?
There isnt anything wrong with being picky about your women, or worrying about what others may think, that doesn't make you shallow. But don't let other people opinions dictate your choices, because at the end of the day if your full of regret there is nobody else to blame.
Life's to short man. :thumb:
Very wise words.
Like Calvin said, it's not shallow to be led by what others say but you've got a good head on your shoulders and you're able to deal with it maturely.
Good luck :thumb:
Calvin - I remember that post. I actually feel so much better for letting go of all that stuff. So yeah, maybe I should just do it...
Why is it that as a society we can't cope with the rejection of our initial romantic advance and so often have to perpetrate an excuse for our obviously 'sinful' behaviour?!?
Shit...
there's still time to turn it around!
Fucking hell you must have a shallow circle of friends, I'm glad mine aren't like that. With my friends it doesn't matter what you or your other half look like, you'll get respect if you're a decent, likable person with a sense of humour, and if you're not a decent person it doesn't matter whether you look like a supermodel we won't bother with you
And in all honesty I'd rather spend my life with someone I care about than get 'respect' from other people. Fucks sake
Ideas? Just ask her out?!
What's the worst that could happen?!?
yeh just ask her out..something causal like, "fancy going for a drink sometime?" you have nothing to lose have you! good luck
whyyyyyyyyyy are you gona sleep on it! get it over and done with. ya know even if she says no, you're not the first guy and certianly not the last to be rejected. Don't take it personally, we just all have our different types! BUT she might actually say yes! I mean we can't really predict it but she has been continuing to e-mail you lots so to me that sounds like a good sign. Just do iitttttt :razz:
Okay
^^^^
Wise words, Oh great one
Seize the day Luke. No regrets. :thumb:
I agree that in a lot of social groups, if you go out and pull a 'whale' as you so delicately put it - there would very likely be several individuals who take the piss for some time after. That's completely different.
Pulling a girl in a club is completely different to entering into a long-term relationship with them. If you would seriously look down on someone purely because they're dating someone who doesn't meet your 'high' expectations in the looks department - you strike me as a very shallow individual.
Okay, fair enough, you wouldn't take someone out with a potential business partner who's a complete fruitcake - but if you needed a trophy girlfriend, why were you dating her in the first place? Also, surely behaving in an acceptable manner has nothing to do with looks? Or do supermodels get told which fork to use, and 'whales' don't?
Meanwhile there is a 'social group' across the table from yours looking at you lot and thinking you're all munters (and male equivilents of munters)
Attractiveness is an opinion after all.
Are you some sort of pimp or something?
Anyway, the new girl at work I find really nice looking - she's not fat but every Tom, Dick and Harry says I could do better. I'm not bothered in all honesty, I'm scared incase she doesn't like me back because physically she's totally the sort of girl I've gone for in the past.