My mates kicked me out then had group sex

Former Member

Evening all

This all happened a few weeks back, and I've felt really weird (at best) since. Basically, some friends (two girls, I'm a bloke) I work with had a party and invited a few people. It ended up with two couples and me there. Things started getting a bit heated, shots were drunk and we all ended up naked, but I didn't do anything with anyone (they looked disgusted at the prospect of me doing stuff to them for dares, ffs why did they play if I was there)

One of the girls from work called me a cab and I went off home, knowing they were going to end up shagging the hell out of each other and I was going to end up at home with mr lefty for company.

I found out today the lads swapped GFs and the girls had sex with each other and it's left me feeling really fucked up and pissed off that so little consideration (IMO) was given to me.

I'm also 26 and the owner of a shiny set of v-plates (hell, I've never done ANYTHING with a girl) and I just feel like I'm never going to do anything either and I might as well not exist. IMO I'm a fairly nice, intelligent bloke, but I suffer from social anxiety after getting bullied like owt at school.

I know there's no way I'm going to sleep for the next week, thinking about it. Why was I invited in the first place?

Help.:crying:

Former Member

How rude, they could have at least let you stay and watch

Maybe they just didn't fancy ya?

Former Member

Yeah, I know, I just feel really depressed about the whole thing. It doesn't matter if they didn't fancy me, they just obv. didn't give a crap about my feelings

Former Member

Then they're not really friends are they?

Former Member

That does sound a bit shitty, and they sound like absolute weirdos. I doubt it was spiteful, but it was very inconsiderate.

I doubt it was their first time together, and if they had an idea you were a virgin they probably felt that you'd feel uncomfortable losing it that way.

Maybe they didn't fancy you. It happens. I wouldn't dwell on it too much. You're being a bit paranoid, and a bit presumptious.

Former Member

Kermit wrote: »

That does sound a bit shitty, and they sound like absolute weirdos. I doubt it was spiteful, but it was very inconsiderate.

I doubt it was their first time together, and if they had an idea you were a virgin they probably felt that you'd feel uncomfortable losing it that way.

Maybe they didn't fancy you. It happens. I wouldn't dwell on it too much. You're being a bit paranoid, and a bit presumptious.

That's the thing, it was. One of the girls had sex that night with the other girls BF who she hadn't even done it with yet. Sorry to keep coming back with stuff.

Former Member

Sorry to sound harsh here mate.
But you can't expect people to fuck you, when they don't want to, just to save your feelings from getting hurt.
Don't worry about it, you don't wanna have lost your virginity that way anyway...you'd have been scared stiff in that sorta situation. IMO

Former Member

No probs mate, I don't think I wanted them to fuck me, I just didn't need to know all the details. They've been recounting it in great details at work, within earshot.

Former Member

Maybe they just didn't want you there, either for numbers or because they didn't fancy you or whatever. I wouldn't brood on it too much, gangbangs are never as fun as they sound.

Are they deliberately winding you up with the details? If they are, they don't sound like friends to me.

Former Member

TheStoneRose wrote: »

No probs mate, I don't think I wanted them to fuck me, I just didn't need to know all the details. They've been recounting it in great details at work, within earshot.

Well in that case...they sound like a bunch of cunts to me.

Former Member

Don't know Kermit, if I was being really paranoid I could say yes.

Former Member

Are they actually friends or just people you work with?

Former Member

People I work with who I consider (considered?) friends.

Former Member

Hmm ok then. Well i wouldn't take it personally anyways....maybe they're just the type of people that get off on freaking out the virgin?

Former Member

Yeah, quite possibly. Thanks for hearing me out.

Former Member

Have to say I'd have felt uncomfortable having a gangbang with a virgin.

Former Member

DC85 wrote: »

Well in that case...they sound like a bunch of cunts to me.

Yup.

Look mate, the whole situation sounds kinda fucked up. I would just try to not think about it and get on with your life.

Former Member

Kermit wrote: »

Have to say I'd have felt uncomfortable having a gangbang with a virgin.

Yeah it's not really the sort of thing you offer up to a virgin is it.

Former Member

MLY wrote: »

Yeah it's not really the sort of thing you offer up to a virgin is it.

Hmm sadly not the thing I was offered when I was at school No!! :chin: :no:

I'm sure it wasn't as good as it sounded!!! :thumb:

Former Member

TheStoneRose wrote: »

IMO I'm a fairly nice, intelligent bloke, but I suffer from social anxiety after getting bullied like owt at school.

Why don't you get your social anxiety sorted out? Go see a doctor and explain your problems and they should be able to help you with medication and therapy.

Former Member

I wouldn't be too upset....in my opinion a gangbang is really one of the worst ways to lose your v-plates (although i'm not that much better...i lost mine with a prostitute :P)...but i can still understand why you feel hurt, and i would too if i was in your situation...if that were me instead of you, well, they would no longer be my friends.

Good luck man

Former Member

maybe they just didnt want the odds to be on the guys.

Swaping gf's is ok but when there's another involved it might not have seemed right. In my head it makes sense.

Definatly don't dwell on it, just go get your freak on with someone else. Go to myspaz or faceparty for some sexy time.

matt

**helen**

MattLiverpool wrote: »

Your ego has taken a beating, but is that really the way you'd like to lose your V? Save it for a time when it's worth loosing mate, you won't regret it.

None of what's happened means you're unattractive or anything, so don't dwell on it.

:yes:

It does sound like a pretty horrible situation and I'm inclined to agree with Kermit that those kinds of parties are rarely as fun as they look - especially if you're not entirely comfortable with the people. You definitely deserve better.

It sounds like broadening your friendship group is the most important thing, as growing confidence will be far better for you in the long run than having meaningless sex. What do you get up to outside of work?

Also, as Lipsy mentioned there is help available for social anxiety which you may or may not have already explored.

Take it easy

Former Member

Shit, I wish I coulda been there!

Former Member

Hey, what guy hasn't got naked with his friends then got ditched only to find out they swapped partners and had an orgy, it's a rite of passage for all men.

Former Member

Kermit wrote: »

Have to say I'd have felt uncomfortable having a gangbang with a virgin.

Absolutely. Remember though, there's really no rush to lose those V-plates. I was in a rush to get rid of mine and it really wasn't a good idea.

Former Member

Sounds like you had a lucky escape - do you really want to loose your V-Plates a a group event?

Former Member

Thanks for all your replies.

DG - not really, I just wish I didn't know anything about what happened after I left - I'm a bit cheesed off that everyone at work thinks it's dead funny that the girls got it on. I'm really open-minded but I just feel sick thinking about it.

Helen

You're right, I prolly could do more outside work...I'm going for an assessment to do with the anxiety in September (seems a long way in the future)

Former Member

I don't blame you for feeling sick about it...if i were you the thought of it would make me sick as well. :yuck: Good luck with your assessment in September...i hope it goes well. Hang in there man

Former Member

I agree with what everyone is saying, that you shouldn't expect to be included as they may not have wanted to do anything with you. However that said, I think its utterly rude and a bit weird to get to the point where you are all naked and send you home - like you say, why invite you? It does seem a bit weird but my guess is that they just have some seriously weird ways about doing things and you shouldn't let it get to you - and you definately want to save your virginity until you find someone actually worth losing it with... personally I liked the fact that one of the guys I slept with was a virgin because, well, I dont know why but it was kinda nice...

Former Member

Eww you don't wanna have sex with people like that. EW!

And don't worry about being a virgin, I wish I waited until I was older/married. (don't regret doing it, just the time i did it)