Best Of

Hey @eylah , how are you this morning? Thank you so much for your posts here about how things are feeling with your sister as you approach Christmas, your feelings about CMHT, and what's been happening with your friend too.

It sounds like you've been carrying quite a lot of self-blame and self-criticism lately, feeling as though you have been a bad friend or a bad sister, and I know those kinds of guilt and shame can weigh so, so heavy sometimes. From where I'm standing, it sounds like you're doing your very best right now, and there's been so much to contend with in the past few months alone. It is so valid that you're feeling overwhelmed and emotional, and it sounds isolating to be having to cope with so much of this alone. I'm really pleased that you can open up to us here about it. We're listening

What you described about your psych liaison felt so moving - how she hugged you for the first time since losing your Mum, and acknowledged that your Mum would be so, so proud of you for staying here and holding on. I can imagine that just meant the world to hear, and you're so deserving of being treated with warmth and kindness like that. I heard you say that you're really scared about leaving CMHT because you're unsure if that's what you want - did I get that right? It is valid to feel conflicted at times, or to perhaps have said you'd like to discharge yourself, but then to want to stay. You mentioned you have a meeting coming up on Monday to discuss things - is that right? How are you feeling about that, and what are you hoping the outcome might be?

heh can m day get any messed up? was doing so well with not hurting myself ( safe) and then my ‘so called’ friend who ive helped through her trauma and stuff putting her first!!! now she is saying that apparently i should of just disappeared already? huh after i have tried helping her! her threatening suicide etc and she is saying that? ive had enough 😖💔 ( just a rant!)

I also just wanted to acknowledge what your friend had said to you here - that feels horrible, @eylah , and no one has a right to speak to you this way. To talk about 'dissapearing' after you have offered her so much care sounds extreamly hurtful, and I can understand why you've had enough. How have you been able to take care of yourself since this happened? And I wonder what kind of boundaries you may or may not wish to have in place with this person (if that's what felt right to you)

Hey @eylah, thank you for sharing your experience with us on here, I can hear it's not always an easy thing to do. I can hear how you're finding Christmas this year more difficult with the change in circumstances without your mum or sister, and I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling isolated at this time of year.

It sounds like you've had a difficult week, but I'm glad to hear that the liaison was really supportive. Small gestures like a good hug and supportive words can be so helpful when we're feeling vulnerable, and it sounds like this liaison was able to help you which is lovely to hear

You mentioned that you want to discharge yourself, but that you're scared of what the mental health nurse and psychiatrist will think. What is it about their opinion that scares you? Ultimately, they'll help you as long as you want their support, but if you decide that you want to discharge yourself, then they'll respect that decision. There's no judgement or sense of "throwing away help" - they'll only help you if you want the help after all, so I'm sure they'll be okay with your decision to stay or go What do you feel about it? Do you think you still want their help?

I'm really sorry to hear about your experience with your friends - you've tried to help and support them, so I can understand that it's hurtful when someone speaks to you like that in response. It sounds like you're upset about that, and your feelings are valid given the situation! Now that a bit of time has passed since this happened yesterday, I just wanted to check in on how you're feeling about this?

You've been through a really difficult few months from your experiences, and you've done ever so well to not only keep yourself going, but to try and support others too. Be kind to yourself, because you're really trying your best! We're here to support you through this

Just wanted to say your feelings are valid but you have no reason to worry, you're not alone in this. I myself havent been on here in almost 3 weeks

A lot of your post sounds like its caused by neurodivergence, and thats ok. Pretty sure most neurodivergent people wish they could just 'turn it off' hehe, but it don't work like that.

Just give yourself the time and respect you deserve, and know that you don't have to be 'perfect' in every way. Let yourself cheat sometimes, let yourself fixate on stuff, let yourself google things that might feel a little silly. And know that you're probably not the only one doing so.

Take care of yourself! Sending hugs

@TheNightmare, I'm glad that you're feeling better now that you've gotten this out of your chest.

I understand that a lack of experience can hold you back from getting a job, I especially find it frustrating how entry-level jobs require years of experience which is hard to find itself! I think one thing that has helped me navigate this is to demonstrate the passion you have for the role/company, and to think of other sources in your life where you have developed skills.

This could be for example, drawing has helped me develop creativity and problem-solving skills, or playing badminton with others has enabled me to develop my communication and teamwork with others. And as for demonstrating the passion you have for the role/company, adding a personal touch to why you're applying for a certain position might help. I applied to be a psychology student ambassador for my uni, and what helped me get this job was me mentioning that student ambassadors played a vital role in helping me decide to go to this uni, which made me want to help prospective students with their decisions.

I hope this is helpful in some way! Ultimately, I think what employers look for is how you communicate your skills, and this is really difficult to do effectively and takes lots and lots of practice (I'm no expert at all and am still working on this myself!), so give yourself grace if you don't get it right away, progress is still progress.

Good luck with it all and keep us updated

Hey @JMMV2005 , how are you doing? I just wanted to check in off the back of this thread to ask how things have been feeling lately?

I'm so pleased to hear that it feels like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders now that you've set that boundary by blocking contact. From what you've described, your dynamic with her sounds really, really tricky - esspecially how it was so difficult to talk openly with her, or how she'd re-direct your questions. I can imagine that being so tough when you're trying to have a friendship and to have honest communication. I know I myself can feel extreamly anxious when it feels like there's sub-text between me and someone else but it's not possible to 'name' it or talk about it.

How have you been taking care of yourself since this situation happened?

Sending hugs,