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It's been a while since I have been on here

Amy22Amy22 Posts: 4,869 The Mix Elder
edited December 20 in Health & Wellbeing
So it's been kind of a while since I have come on here really as things have been super busy irl (me sorting out my part time seasonal job as well as sorting out Christmas). I just feel like lately and this will sound silly like I have been anxious recently (specifically I noticed today I felt anxious even though I have no reason to feel anxious because im not worried about anything like at all). I know I have been into a show called Dexter and I do get hyperfixations sometimes to the point where my brain wont stop thinking about that hyperfixation which I hate sometimes because I wish I could just turn my brain off you know (like a little switch and everything would be less stressful and easy). Also there's parts of that show that can be quite dark and maybe that scares me a bit I think (I dont know why sometimes I am into dark things maybe it comforts me I guess). I think christmas time I find things more overwhelming because of sorting out gifts and also having to embrace a lot of change into my routine as well I guess. Also this is another silly worry of mine, I enjoy reading fanfic and I also love reading charlie and the chocolate factory fanfic sometimes because of a certain character I like (I also like blueberry tf which I read on devinart and I use AI dungeon and I shouldent use it really because I enjoy writing and AI is the complete opposite of using my brain). I tend to hate myself a lot. I dont know why I am into certain things. Also, I have been thinking a lot about past mistakes I have made when I used to copy drawings on my art course in college and when I had to also google one of the prompts in animation class because I couldent draw it from my imagination even though I was told to. I also had to watch a video to help me with a maths paper/test I did and my mum sat in with me on a maths test online during covid because I panicked and my mind went blank. I came clean to my tutor who said that the one paper wasnt going to my final grade and I felt bad because it felt like cheating. I dont know sorry I think I just need to vent and rant all of this out right now. :/
Just a person who likes pop culture and films

Comments

  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,208 Part of The Furniture
    sending you so many hugs amy 🫂❤️
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp kindly made by the beautiful chloe ❤️
  • JJLemon18JJLemon18 Community Champion Posts: 2,082 Boards Champion
    Just wanted to say your feelings are valid but you have no reason to worry, you're not alone in this. I myself havent been on here in almost 3 weeks :sweat_smile:

    A lot of your post sounds like its caused by neurodivergence, and thats ok. Pretty sure most neurodivergent people wish they could just 'turn it off' hehe, but it don't work like that.

    Just give yourself the time and respect you deserve, and know that you don't have to be 'perfect' in every way. Let yourself cheat sometimes, let yourself fixate on stuff, let yourself google things that might feel a little silly. And know that you're probably not the only one doing so.

    Take care of yourself! Sending hugs <3
    Believe in me - who believes in you
  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 4,869 The Mix Elder
    @JJLemon18 aw thank you so much I really appreciate the post a lot. I guess sometimes I can have some 'low' moments in the months where I just feel very low and I tend to dwell on things to be fair.

    @eylah Aw thank you so much, I really appreciate it right now <3.
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
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