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Best Of
Re: how lockdown affected friendships
Heya! Lockdown has affected my relationships too and it made me reconsider my priorities. Even lost a few friends but that's another story.
I believe I'm having a similar issue with a friend. I have been on both sides so here: Now, I used to be like that - most relationships I've had ended up having some kind of dependency and it affected my relationships one way or another. Over the years, I learned to get comfortable with people replying late, dead conversations, etc. I've also learned ways to cope independently when I'm in a very stressful situation.
I have a friend I've known for years and they always comes to me when they have problems - in a way I'm their safe person (they have other friends). Now there's history behind this so I understand completely why they're worried. I'm not good with my emotions so I tend to disappear when I'm not feeling 100% but I'm learning to be honest with others about it. They're the opposite which is fine! I'm worried that there may be an unhealthy dynamic between us. I know what they want in a friendship and it's great! However, l also want them to be comfortable with me having space from time to time - that may mean inactivity from my side and it doesn't mean anything bad.
I'm gonna say this - if you believe you've developed a dependency relationship with this person then it's best to talk this out with them and reconsider the type of relationship you want with them. Reach a compromise and work towards it. ^^
I'm planning to do that tomorrow. x
I believe I'm having a similar issue with a friend. I have been on both sides so here: Now, I used to be like that - most relationships I've had ended up having some kind of dependency and it affected my relationships one way or another. Over the years, I learned to get comfortable with people replying late, dead conversations, etc. I've also learned ways to cope independently when I'm in a very stressful situation.
I have a friend I've known for years and they always comes to me when they have problems - in a way I'm their safe person (they have other friends). Now there's history behind this so I understand completely why they're worried. I'm not good with my emotions so I tend to disappear when I'm not feeling 100% but I'm learning to be honest with others about it. They're the opposite which is fine! I'm worried that there may be an unhealthy dynamic between us. I know what they want in a friendship and it's great! However, l also want them to be comfortable with me having space from time to time - that may mean inactivity from my side and it doesn't mean anything bad.
I'm gonna say this - if you believe you've developed a dependency relationship with this person then it's best to talk this out with them and reconsider the type of relationship you want with them. Reach a compromise and work towards it. ^^
I'm planning to do that tomorrow. x
Re: Favourite Cake - I will bake the winner [I am a hilariously bad baker]
Definitely carrot ! @Mike still owes me one of those 🤣🤣
Re: Ice Cream
Definitely chocolate for me! I have multiple food allergies so eat dairy free ice cream, of which the chocolate is by far the best unfortunately missing out on the Ben and Jerry's though
AbbyOwl
1
Re: Ice Cream
Definitely chocolate for me! I have multiple food allergies so eat dairy free ice cream, of which the chocolate is by far the best unfortunately missing out on the Ben and Jerry's though
You know you can get dairy free Ben and Jerry’s ?!?
Re: Your favourite lyrics/quotes/ anything meaningful (Possible TW)
This is one of my faves, not sure if it was actually said by Alan Turing, or whether it was written for the film, but love the messaging behind it
Ed_
2
Re: Advice on anti-depressants?
Hey! I've got a lot of experience with anti-depressants.
My doctor put me on Fluoxetine when i was 16, i've since learned this is one of the most common "starter" anti-depressants. It worked for about a year for me, i kept increasing my doses under doctor supervision until i eventually reached the max and it was beginning to not work.
I was moved onto Venlafaxine, which made me very tired but it did the job for me for a while again. Again, increased doses until maxed out and got switched.
Then i was put on Duloxetine - its been the best for me and i'm on the max dose but i've been fine on it for over 3 years now. A year or two after getting to the max on duloxetine i was also put on Quietiapine which is an anti-psychotic.
Meds can be a pain in the sense that because there's so many out there, it can take a period of trial and error to find what helps you best. Just remember that it takes 14 days average for any medication to be integrated into your system and work properly - be aware of common side effects but don't go googling the extreme ones if you're prone to anxiety. Let your doctor know any side effects you experience, or any feelings you get within the first month.
Keep in mind that although meds can be great - I honestly wouldnt be alive without them - they aren't the ONLY way to treat depression. Its been proven by many professionals that the most effective treatment is a combination of meds and therapy.
My doctor put me on Fluoxetine when i was 16, i've since learned this is one of the most common "starter" anti-depressants. It worked for about a year for me, i kept increasing my doses under doctor supervision until i eventually reached the max and it was beginning to not work.
I was moved onto Venlafaxine, which made me very tired but it did the job for me for a while again. Again, increased doses until maxed out and got switched.
Then i was put on Duloxetine - its been the best for me and i'm on the max dose but i've been fine on it for over 3 years now. A year or two after getting to the max on duloxetine i was also put on Quietiapine which is an anti-psychotic.
Meds can be a pain in the sense that because there's so many out there, it can take a period of trial and error to find what helps you best. Just remember that it takes 14 days average for any medication to be integrated into your system and work properly - be aware of common side effects but don't go googling the extreme ones if you're prone to anxiety. Let your doctor know any side effects you experience, or any feelings you get within the first month.
Keep in mind that although meds can be great - I honestly wouldnt be alive without them - they aren't the ONLY way to treat depression. Its been proven by many professionals that the most effective treatment is a combination of meds and therapy.
Re: Favourite Cake - I will bake the winner [I am a hilariously bad baker]
I love a brownie, and they’re relatively easy to make. But chocolate cake with chocolate icing is a close second 😂