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AnonymousToe wrote: »

There was stuff in the way downstairs that happened to be mine - there was nowhere to put it because of my mum’s stuff.
Anyway, my sister said, “It’s nobody’s fault but yours, [Toe].”
😭😭😭

This is very unfair, Toe. What an enormous thing to put on you.

AnonymousToe wrote: »

I don’t know how to ask for help 😭😭😭 my parents will hate me forever

I don't know how helpful this is, but in my experience, resolving really difficult, complex, gnarly issues like this always involves vulnerability and upset. Particularly when something has been suppressed for so long and people have been avoiding it, meaning those emotions under the surface bubble and bubble, so when the lid finally comes off it's explode-y.

And obviously nobody wants that to happen, and it can be really hard to even consider confronting the problem when you know how difficult the fallout will be.

But maybe it should still happen, for the sake of everyone (incl. your parents).

There are ways you can manage it that take the temperature down. You can write letters for them to read rather than having a verbal conversation/argument.

I don't want to presume anything because you know more about your family dynamic than me, but it might be that there's a rumble at first, arguments and some hurt feelings, but they may not hate you forever. All being well, they might even thank you for it later down the line, because I imagine they want a way out of all this too (even if they feel too ashamed to ask for it).

Out of interest, when you said they'll hate you forever for asking for help, what kind of help were you thinking of getting?

Sorry to hear you're struggling @joshy123 it sounds really hard having to deal with the fact you're feeling alone

Are there any clubs within your school/college?

You seem like such a lovely person so I hope things get easier for you, we're all here for you whenever you need on the mix

I’m not just saying this, I can relate to a lot of your problems. Just don’t make the same mistakes I did. It’s not like my life is over or anything, it’s just that I’ve wasted a lot of time.

Another thing I don't understand is why they would say my self-harm is superficial.

They told me this. So it did get worse. TW: . This I can’t hide so it hurts my self esteem because people are quick to judge in society. So don’t give in because there are two scenarios.

I was thinking about starting running but like in the evening so I tire myself out a couple of hours before going to bed. I didn't realise diet affected sleep because at the moment my diet is terrible because I live in supported accommodation. Sooo we have a shared kitchen which means my food gets robbed. And it's incredibly hard to cook in there because half the time the other people haven't washed the dishes or pans they were using. My diet is terrible though so I feel like I need to try sort it, because it's bad for my physical health as well.

I know I’m sounding like I’m reading out of a textbook but exercise helps a lot. Honestly. Try to just go for a 10 minute walk, but at regular intervals. It helps if you have a dog to walk, there’s places that let you walk dogs for people. Search it up if interested. But try and get about 30-45mins a day.

Also have you heard the phrase “you are what you eat”? Our food consumption really does affect our mental health.

Go out of your way to tell others to clean pots or ask the manager to make sure it’s clean. You want a balanced and varied diet.
I have a good, nutritious breakfast which is high in carbs, protein, healthy fats and fibre to fuel me throughout the morning. I’d have weetabix or porridge, but alternate the days. Also, I add peanut butter for protein and additional healthy fats, but obviously don’t if you’re allergic or you hate peanut butter. But I’m trying to create a plan of what breakfast I eat every day to vary the breakfast to make so I don’t get bored.
I have a cup of coffee in the morning and then tea after that but limit my caffeine intake after 3pm.
Caffeine is good for a mood boost when you’re blue.
Meditation is a really good way of learning about and controlling your emotions. Just think of them as a wave and let that wave pass when meditating. It sounds cringeworthy, I know, but you’ll start to separate your thoughts (eg. intrusive or productive) from your feelings (eg. depression or happiness) and then your actions (crises/self harm or positive life choices).
But also I think you need some self discovery. That’s what I’m doing. For the past few years I’ve been a case study (I’ve been spoken to by robots who didn’t seem like they cared, like they where reading scripts) but now I’m learning new things and I’m enjoying life, despite my struggles.


One other thing to do is remember in the end we all cease to exist. Whether you are a monotheist, a polytheist, an atheist or an agnostic. TW: .
But now I think that we make our purposes. Don’t let anyone stop you. You’re young. You’ve got your GCSEs. You’ve got the whole world ahead of you. Remember this doesn’t mean life will be perfect. But don’t give up. I’ve seen people who have been in the system all their life. You have potential. You matter. Your feelings are validated. I wouldn’t have written this if I was bsing you, so please - try.