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Breakup

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Comments

  • eylaheylah Community Connector Posts: 10,619 An Original Mixlorian
    hi @LolaPumpkin13 . im sry to hear that you’re feeling scared. may I ask why you’re feeling scared? are you ok?
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • Sian321Sian321 Community Manager Posts: 3,814 Community Veteran
    @LolaPumpkin13 , it sounds like you're going through a really, really distressing time right now and I can hear you're scared. What are frightened of right now? We're here and we're listening.

    Please know that if you'd like some more in-depth, live, 1:1 support, SHOUT and Samaritans are here:

    https://peerchat.link/Samaritans
    https://giveusashout.org/

  • AzzimanAzziman Discussion Boards Moderator Posts: 2,553 Boards Guru
    Hey @LolaPumpkin13, sorry to hear what you're going through. I can hear that you're feeling scared, and that you're going through a difficult time. You mentioned that you're writing things down but that it doesn't work for you any more - are there any other things that help you to feel calm, that you could try? We're here to support you through this.
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    I just want some help to become a better person I have been called manipulative controlling possessive I don’t want to be on my own anymore
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    I can’t do this anymore
  • KatieKatie Staff Posts: 2,133 Boards Champion
    Hey @LolaPumpkin13 can I check if you're feeling safe right now?

    I'm also hearing you're wanting some help and we can definitely take a look at what support organisations we have that we could suggest to you. If you let us know what you're wanting support with specifically, we can take a look.
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    I don’t feel safe anywhere
  • KatieKatie Staff Posts: 2,133 Boards Champion
    Hi @LolaPumpkin13 I'm hearing that you don't feel safe anywhere. Can I check if you're experiencing suicidal thoughts please, and if so if you are considering acting on these thoughts?

    Whilst we're not a crisis service, you can text THEMIX to 85258 for free, confidential crisis support. Also, if you did feel at any point that you were going to act on thoughts of suicide, then we would urge you to call the emergency services on 999, or go to your local A&E department to explain your intentions to them, so that they can support you.

    You deserve support Lola and the Community are here for you.
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    I’ve tried they just give you posters
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    I just want some advice
  • KatieKatie Staff Posts: 2,133 Boards Champion
    Hey @LolaPumpkin13 do you feel comfortable sharing what you're wanting advice with?
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    Just how to move on
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    And his family doesn’t care or want to help
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    Clearly I’m the problem
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    Why am I just being left to deal with it I’m done
  • eylaheylah Community Connector Posts: 10,619 An Original Mixlorian
    we’re here for you @LolaPumpkin13 . have you got any support at home etc? someone who you could talk to? sry no one has replied back to you. we care abt you.
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    I’ve reached out to shout the smartions
  • eylaheylah Community Connector Posts: 10,619 An Original Mixlorian
    LolaPumpkin13 wrote: »
    I’ve reached out to shout the smartions

    how did reaching out to them go? did it help talking to them?
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    Not really
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    I even ran back to my abusive ex which he didn’t want which I’m glad but I’m just getting worried about myself
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    It is really freaking me out because it was me
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    He is not coming back and I’m not sure what to do anymore
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    He was my best friend but he is not coming back
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    And I have no clue what to do anymore
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    i was always with him
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    I just want some help
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    I just want to be better but I don’t know how
  • Sian321Sian321 Community Manager Posts: 3,814 Community Veteran
    edited November 2025
    @LolaPumpkin13 how are you doing? I wanted to check in as it sounds like things are continuing to feel really, really hard and anxiety-inducing lately, and I hear you saying just how much you want to 'be better' but you're unsure how. I can imagine that might feel overwhelming maybe, and doing doing so well to be putting these thoughts into words and sharing them here.

    Can I ask, what do you mean when you said, "It is really freaking me out because it was me". What do you imagine 'being better' might look like too?

    You also mentioned that you've run back your abusive ex, and I wanted to check in and ask how that was and what happened there, if you felt comfortable sharing?

    The Community is here with you to listen and explore this together at your pace.
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    I’m not really doing welll I wake up and it is still quiet and it is the clubbing part it was freaking me out as it wasn’t me and because I’ve been controlling maniputive possevive and the whole ex situation I wish I never did that but I just didn’t want to be alone
  • Sian321Sian321 Community Manager Posts: 3,814 Community Veteran
    edited November 2025
    Hi @LolaPumpkin13 thank you so much for sharing this, and I recognize that it can take real vulnerability and courage to name and talk about aspects of our own behaviors that we regret. I really hear you reflecting deeply on this and getting curious about the role you may have played within your previous relationship dynamics.

    You mentioned at the end there too how you really didn't want to be alone, and I hear just how terrifying that prospect might have been. You're doing so well to give voice to both sides of this situation and to talk about this openly.

    I wonder if you've ever had any support exploring these relationship dynamics, or better understanding where they might be coming from? Or if that's something you're looking for? We're here to listen without any judgement.
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