Home› Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. For Crisis Support (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Want to share your experience of using our Community?

We're collecting Community Case Studies which could be used on our website, on social media, shared with our volunteers, or shared with third parties who may be interested to hear how online communities help people.

Click here to fill out our anonymous form

Breakup

1235»

Comments

  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 110 The Mix Convert
    if only the doctors helped and vitalminds maybe i would still have my ex boyfriend
  • Sian321Sian321 Community Manager Posts: 2,795 Boards Guru
    Hi @LolaPumpkin13 , how are you doing? I wanted to check in, as it sounds like last night might have been really hard, and you mentioned that you've been waking up each morning and not knowing what to do with yourself. That sounds so difficult and I really hear just how badly you want to move on, and yet, how tough that feels to do. What do you imagine 'moving on' would look like?

    You also said that you feel really worried about yourself. Thank you for trusting us and sharing this. Can I ask, what do you feel most worried about right now? We're here, and we're listening.

    Thank you for clarifying that you do not plan to act on your thoughts of suicide at the moment. Coping with intrusive thoughts sounds like it might feel really anxiety-inducing, and again, it's so positive you're putting this into words and reaching out for support. Can I ask, what is helping you to keep safe from listening to these intrusive thoughts? And have you ever received any support for them in the past?
  • Sian321Sian321 Community Manager Posts: 2,795 Boards Guru
    You deserve to not have to go through this heartache on your own, and if you'd like some more in-depth support 1:1, please know that our SHOUT service is here for you to talk to 24/7 via text. Samaritans are also here over the phone or webchat as another 24/7 option if ever you're struggling to cope.

    How does that sound?
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 110 The Mix Convert
    i ust dont think any of the listening services help i used them when i was in the relationship ive been told just to forget about him and move on but there is so much to it
  • Sian321Sian321 Community Manager Posts: 2,795 Boards Guru
    @LolaPumpkin13 , I hear you, and I can imagine that feeling frustrating too - to be told to 'forget about him', when in reality, there's so much to it. During some of the hardest moments, what have been some of the things that have helped you to express some of the grief about the relationship being over? It sounds like you're going through a lot of life-transition and change right now, and I wonder where you're able to talk about this?

    You're doing so well here to share, and your Community is here for you.
  • Blue_lilyBlue_lily Posts: 58 Boards Initiate
    edited October 25
    Hi @LolaPumpkin13

    What you're going through at the moment seems really overwhelming. You are so strong.

    You mention not knowing how to get better. It is completely valid to feel like you can't see a way out when you are in the dark. But I just want to say that you are such a valuable individual and that it can get better. Also I'm so sorry if i have missed it, but I was just wondering if you have reached out to any mental health services/professionals? Sometimes they can be a great help.

    <3
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 110 The Mix Convert
    I have but it away seems I have to chase them
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 110 The Mix Convert
    I have gone to off the record spoken to mind spoken to smartions and when we broke up I had to go to doctors cause I was suicidal and I’m on tablets and I’ve spoken to the mental health but not really helpful even in the past when I was with my boyfriend
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 110 The Mix Convert
    Because I remember him being next to me asleep on the air mattress we use to sleep on and we had Friday night dinner on and remember I had a thought of going on dating apps and I remember panicking and thinking where’s my phone and remembering that my phone was in the cupboard and just felt relieved and just laid beside him
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 110 The Mix Convert
    And my phone was in the cupboard because the thoughts of cheating on him and I was so worried not like I was hiding anything he had my passcode just like I had his it was just so strong in my head
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 110 The Mix Convert
    The thought of going out is so strong in my head but I know there is more to it
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 110 The Mix Convert
    I just would really like some help
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 110 The Mix Convert
    I don’t know what to do anymore
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 110 The Mix Convert
    I’m not getting the help
  • RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 5,816 Part of The Furniture
    @LolaPumpkin13 here's some services that might be suitable for you


    https://kellysheroes.org.uk/
    These are normally pretty good they open at 6 pm till 10pm Monday to Friday and open on weekends 6pm till 11pm


    https://www.myblackdog.co/
    These are pretty good but only open Sunday to Wednesday 7pm till 10pm


    https://knus.io/
    This is a peer to peer support service, someone should set you up through a peer and chats are done through what's app


    Shout is a text messaging service, open 24 hours but at night it takes a very long time to get through, text 85258


    Phone service
    Call 116 123
    and has text service but it only works for some
    https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/
  • NathanNathan Community Connector Posts: 2,505 Boards Guru
    LolaPumpkin13 wrote: »
    I’m not getting the help

    @LolaPumpkin13 I'm really sorry about the slow replies. The community here isn't as active as it used to be for a fair few reasons, but you can still count on support from here, but it won't always be an instant reply.
    LolaPumpkin13 wrote: »
    I have but it away seems I have to chase them

    I fully know what you mean about trying to chase basic support. I may have mentioned it before, but the UK ranks second lowest globally for mental health: https://www.medboundtimes.com/medbound-blog/uk-grapples-with-second-worst-ranking
    It is legitimately an awful situation, when your trying your best to get support, but it seems like nobody is listening and your having to chase even the most basic help. I just want to clarify that the lack of support isn't on you, it's a systemic failure that is letting you down.
    LolaPumpkin13 wrote: »
    And my phone was in the cupboard because the thoughts of cheating on him and I was so worried not like I was hiding anything he had my passcode just like I had his it was just so strong in my head

    And i want to clarify, there is a world of a difference between thinking and doing. Thinking does not make you a bad person. You resisted those thoughts, never acted on them, tried to seek support and that shows how much you were trying and doing your best.


    This perhaps isn't my place to say, and i could be entirely wrong here, and please correct me if this sounds wrong, but it almost sounds like a case of mentally self sabotaging, where you have a good relationship, and then fears and anxieties and thoughts overwhelm you to the point of breaking up. I think it can almost be called subconscious self sabotage, and that's something that you really do deserve support with. It's not that your a bad person.
Sign In or Register to comment.