Breakup

eylah · November 1

hi @LolaPumpkin13 . im sry to hear that you’re feeling scared. may I ask why you’re feeling scared? are you ok?

Sian321 · November 1

@LolaPumpkin13 , it sounds like you're going through a really, really distressing time right now and I can hear you're scared. What are frightened of right now? We're here and we're listening.

Please know that if you'd like some more in-depth, live, 1:1 support, SHOUT and Samaritans are here:

https://peerchat.link/Samaritans
https://giveusashout.org/

Azziman · November 1

Hey @LolaPumpkin13, sorry to hear what you're going through. I can hear that you're feeling scared, and that you're going through a difficult time. You mentioned that you're writing things down but that it doesn't work for you any more - are there any other things that help you to feel calm, that you could try? We're here to support you through this.

LolaPumpkin13 · November 1

I just want some help to become a better person I have been called manipulative controlling possessive I don’t want to be on my own anymore

LolaPumpkin13 · November 2

I can’t do this anymore

Katie · November 2

Hey @LolaPumpkin13 can I check if you're feeling safe right now?

I'm also hearing you're wanting some help and we can definitely take a look at what support organisations we have that we could suggest to you. If you let us know what you're wanting support with specifically, we can take a look.

LolaPumpkin13 · November 2

I don’t feel safe anywhere

Katie · November 2

Hi @LolaPumpkin13 I'm hearing that you don't feel safe anywhere. Can I check if you're experiencing suicidal thoughts please, and if so if you are considering acting on these thoughts?

Whilst we're not a crisis service, you can text THEMIX to 85258 for free, confidential crisis support. Also, if you did feel at any point that you were going to act on thoughts of suicide, then we would urge you to call the emergency services on 999, or go to your local A&E department to explain your intentions to them, so that they can support you.

You deserve support Lola and the Community are here for you.

LolaPumpkin13 · November 2

I’ve tried they just give you posters

LolaPumpkin13 · November 2

I just want some advice

Katie · November 2

Hey @LolaPumpkin13 do you feel comfortable sharing what you're wanting advice with?

LolaPumpkin13 · November 2

Just how to move on

LolaPumpkin13 · November 2

And his family doesn’t care or want to help

LolaPumpkin13 · November 2

Clearly I’m the problem

LolaPumpkin13 · November 3

Why am I just being left to deal with it I’m done

eylah · November 3

we’re here for you @LolaPumpkin13 . have you got any support at home etc? someone who you could talk to? sry no one has replied back to you. we care abt you.

LolaPumpkin13 · November 3

I’ve reached out to shout the smartions

eylah · November 3

LolaPumpkin13 wrote: »

I’ve reached out to shout the smartions

how did reaching out to them go? did it help talking to them?

LolaPumpkin13 · November 3

Not really

LolaPumpkin13 · November 3

I even ran back to my abusive ex which he didn’t want which I’m glad but I’m just getting worried about myself

LolaPumpkin13 · November 4

It is really freaking me out because it was me

LolaPumpkin13 · November 4

He is not coming back and I’m not sure what to do anymore

LolaPumpkin13 · November 4

He was my best friend but he is not coming back

LolaPumpkin13 · November 4

And I have no clue what to do anymore

LolaPumpkin13 · November 4

i was always with him

LolaPumpkin13 · November 4

I just want some help

LolaPumpkin13 · November 5

I just want to be better but I don’t know how

Sian321 · November 6

@LolaPumpkin13 how are you doing? I wanted to check in as it sounds like things are continuing to feel really, really hard and anxiety-inducing lately, and I hear you saying just how much you want to 'be better' but you're unsure how. I can imagine that might feel overwhelming maybe, and doing doing so well to be putting these thoughts into words and sharing them here.

Can I ask, what do you mean when you said, "It is really freaking me out because it was me". What do you imagine 'being better' might look like too?

You also mentioned that you've run back your abusive ex, and I wanted to check in and ask how that was and what happened there, if you felt comfortable sharing?

The Community is here with you to listen and explore this together at your pace.

LolaPumpkin13 · November 6

I’m not really doing welll I wake up and it is still quiet and it is the clubbing part it was freaking me out as it wasn’t me and because I’ve been controlling maniputive possevive and the whole ex situation I wish I never did that but I just didn’t want to be alone

Sian321 · November 6

Hi @LolaPumpkin13 thank you so much for sharing this, and I recognize that it can take real vulnerability and courage to name and talk about aspects of our own behaviors that we regret. I really hear you reflecting deeply on this and getting curious about the role you may have played within your previous relationship dynamics.

You mentioned at the end there too how you really didn't want to be alone, and I hear just how terrifying that prospect might have been. You're doing so well to give voice to both sides of this situation and to talk about this openly.

I wonder if you've ever had any support exploring these relationship dynamics, or better understanding where they might be coming from? Or if that's something you're looking for? We're here to listen without any judgement.

Breakup

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