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Dont like single life

RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 5,481 Part of The Furniture
in Sex & Relationships
I’ve been feeling alone. I’ve been on and off dating apps for maybe a year, joining just to see what they’re like and then deleting them. It’s not something that’s come out of nowhere. I always think about relationships and imagine or daydream about being with someone, but I don’t know how I’m going to meet someone. I don’t know if dating apps are it. I feel like someone that good is probably going to be taken by someone way better than me. The competition scares me. There’s all competition and all that when dating someone, and when I did get someone, the fear of heartbreak, which I’ve seen in people, can hit hard. That’s if I even get dates and one. Also on dating apps, a lot of the time I don’t feel it when it’s just swiping. I see women who I maybe like but can’t date. I’d like to find someone natural, like not initially intended.

I want to find someone who likes me for who I am. Someone shorter than me ideally, non-judgemental, supportive, with a sense of humour, probably 20 to 21 plus. I just don’t like single life. I have friends but I think I want someone a bit more. I’ve never had a relationship or anything. In general, I don’t feel good enough for anyone, and I worry about being a shorter guy.

Comments

  • AzzimanAzziman Discussion Boards Moderator Posts: 2,404 Boards Champion
    Hi @Redemption, thank you for sharing this with us here. I can hear how you're unhappy with being single, and that you've mentioned some insecurities around whether you're good and tall enough. You've mentioned that you've tried dating apps, but that the competition is scary and that the "intended" approach isn't what you prefer.

    Your feelings are valid, and dating can certainly be challenging. Looking for someone who likes you for who you are is reasonable, and looking for a supportive, non-judgemental partner seems reasonable too. You mention that you don't feel good enough for people, what makes you say this?

    I'd imagine there are many that feel the way you do too. Dating isn't easy, and dating apps have their challenges. There are other ways that might feel more natural, such as in-person speed dating events, or being introduced to new people via friends. How would you feel about those kind of ideas? We're here to listen to you.

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  • RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 5,481 Part of The Furniture
    Azziman wrote: »
    Hi @Redemption, thank you for sharing this with us here. I can hear how you're unhappy with being single, and that you've mentioned some insecurities around whether you're good and tall enough. You've mentioned that you've tried dating apps, but that the competition is scary and that the "intended" approach isn't what you prefer.

    Your feelings are valid, and dating can certainly be challenging. Looking for someone who likes you for who you are is reasonable, and looking for a supportive, non-judgemental partner seems reasonable too. You mention that you don't feel good enough for people, what makes you say this?

    I'd imagine there are many that feel the way you do too. Dating isn't easy, and dating apps have their challenges. There are other ways that might feel more natural, such as in-person speed dating events, or being introduced to new people via friends. How would you feel about those kind of ideas? We're here to listen to you.

    Hey @Azziman thanks so much for replying to me, I saw this got left unanswered. I do beleive the competition can be quite scary like who would pick me over, taller, more intelligent, people they find better looking, more confident etc. I just don't feel like I have thess qualities like being taller, more intelligent, people they find better looking, more confident etc, thats what makes me say that. They sound like good ideas, options I could definitely consider at the right time. Thank you so much, sorry for the late reply too but I hope youve been well mate.
  • unknowngirly777unknowngirly777 Posts: 31 Boards Initiate
    @Redemption I completely agree with you. Single life is really difficult. Especially when you said you don't want to 'intentionally' find someone, and you want it to come naturally, I have never related to anything more in my life. I don't want to purposely go out looking for love. I have just come out of a toxic relationship, so I also find it difficult to WANT to be in a new one. I don't like affection, and I find the idea of intimacy and getting close to someone scary, but I just want a best friend. Someone I can confide in. Someone who likes me for who I am. Someone who can take my mind off things.
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