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Stressed.- Being referred to an ISVA

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Literally just got here
    Shaunie wrote: »
    Was meant to have urgent refereal appionment but they clearly couldnt give a fuck 😭😭😭😭and wont even ring me back
    want to kill myselfff😭😭😭😭

    They need a kick up the bum, @Shaunie so phone them tomorrow and tell them they've got to do more! Don't take no for answer. Don't let them make excuses. Keep fighting. You got fighting spirit and we're behind you all the way.
  • ShaunieShaunie 🌸 Posts: 12,792 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    No point. Rang again and they said cant give further support or an appointment like they said. Feel like killing myself right now :)
    .
  • ShaunieShaunie 🌸 Posts: 12,792 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    I saw isva today. She rang them. And they said the same thing. About no appiontment or support atm. Yet A&E/ crisis team from a&e sajd i can rinng for an appioment with. Being a meds review or what. But they say they cant. Actual dickheads.


    Was so awks with isva today though and we sat in silence for like 20 minutes. Probably was 10 or something but felt like 20. After she asked me why i never drink when offers or gives it in like mcdonalds, cafes ect -were been to -i dont drink it ect even if water and that maybe have so low energy cause dehydrated. Then she asked if i dehydrate myself because i feel ashamed of body function, basically pee - and that makes me feel disgusting and reminder & hate myself. So then thought this is awkward and really embarrassing. And I stArted crying, so more embarrasing and then we didnt say anythinn for ages.

    Then spoke about what support i want from her. I told her i didnt know cause i think i will kil myself - then lengthy pointless convo on that. Then she said this feels like couselling, & thashe doesnt mind speaking with me every week like doing until the pd service sees me, if thats the support id like. Then asked if i wanna see her next week. But i dont want to use someones time. So i told her not to book anything 🙃

    Do really hate myself and my life is a mess and main trigger is something cant aviod so gues ill feel forever hate myself and want to hurt myself
    .
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Literally just got here
    Shaunie wrote: »
    I saw isva today. She rang them. And they said the same thing. About no appiontment or support atm. Yet A&E/ crisis team from a&e sajd i can rinng for an appioment with. Being a meds review or what. But they say they cant. Actual dickheads.


    Was so awks with isva today though and we sat in silence for like 20 minutes. Probably was 10 or something but felt like 20. After she asked me why i never drink when offers or gives it in like mcdonalds, cafes ect -were been to -i dont drink it ect even if water and that maybe have so low energy cause dehydrated. Then she asked if i dehydrate myself because i feel ashamed of body function, basically pee - and that makes me feel disgusting and reminder & hate myself. So then thought this is awkward and really embarrassing. And I stArted crying, so more embarrasing and then we didnt say anythinn for ages.

    Then spoke about what support i want from her. I told her i didnt know cause i think i will kil myself - then lengthy pointless convo on that. Then she said this feels like couselling, & thashe doesnt mind speaking with me every week like doing until the pd service sees me, if thats the support id like. Then asked if i wanna see her next week. But i dont want to use someones time. So i told her not to book anything 🙃

    Do really hate myself and my life is a mess and main trigger is something cant aviod so gues ill feel forever hate myself and want to hurt myself

    By rights you should be entitled to legal advice not associated with the isva. Have you enquired? You should never be treated like this by the isva reps. They don't help you much. They should at least bolster your confidence instead of pulling you down.

    I really do understand your want to si, but equally need you to see that every day you go without doing that (eg. 24 hours) is one more day of triumph. Partly my reason to si was hating myself. Take it away, stop feeling guilty for what caused me to injure made me actually stronger. I believe you can through this, Shaunie.

    I used to keep a diary and noted the days I felt bad, these being approximately the week leading to my period time. When I got on edge more. To prevent si'ing I'd go for a walk, paint, draw, do any exercise - and count off the hours. Hours led to days. The first day being si-free was my triumph. The next day, too and I went without si for a whole three weeks. After that I stopped it. Because I knew I could do it again. I believe you can do this, too.

    Stay off the booze. Only drink with meals if need be. But keep your liquids up, ie. milk, tea, water. Especially water. A little sip at a time, ok? And if you want to seriously rant, please pm me to get it off your chest.

    Truly best wishes,

    Mandy

  • ShaunieShaunie 🌸 Posts: 12,792 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Hey

    I like my isva. Shes really nice. ah. Just started crying cause was a shocked for her to ask - quite observate. & cause she was right & i had no idea how to answer.

    But Now she probably thinks am right weirdo 😔

    & thank you for advice!
    .
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Literally just got here
    Just keep holding on, @Shaunie. Crying is actually a good safety valve, lets out all the feelings. Don't be ashamed to cry. You're not being weak crying, and I believe that for myself.

    Goodnight and hope you sleep well. I'm off to bed now.

    Tomorrow - tomorrow is anther fighting day. Take care and be strong. :)
  • ShaunieShaunie 🌸 Posts: 12,792 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Thank you Mandy. Hope youre okay


    Soo i had a letter this morning that says i have an medical review with the PD service on Tuesday 5th of June. Dunno why i was told otherwise.
    .
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Literally just got here
    Medical reviews can be helpful because your team are paying attention. Any thoughts/worries you may have, jot them down so they'll be helpful.

    I'm ok thanks. Just very tired lugging gear back from the airport. Might have an early night.

    I just thought of something. Make a list of coping methods for when you hit a downer/meltdown.
  • Lucy307Lucy307 UKPosts: 909 Part of The Mix Family
    Hey Shaunie,

    Sorry to hear things have been tough. Sounds like your isva has been kind, though. How are you today? :heart:

    - Lucy
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
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