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And don't go out with the intention of 'ulling' someone. It will happen when you least ecpct it to.
it applies to wherever I do go. cinema, pub, you name it. no friends remember.
nothing like it has happened for a long time though. it's kind of agonising, the sort of holding one's breath and so on.
You must have friends surely? And stop making up excuses. Like Ballerina says - people who are alone are the easiest to approach.
Choose something your intrested in; Football, Swimming, Chess, Stamp Collecting, whatever but join a local club and use this as a start for making some changes in your life.
Take things one step at a time.
:thumb:
No it's no lie, I do not have one.
I totally agree - you must have some interests at least? You have to go and make friends, once you have friends and start socialising then you'll start to meet girls...
If you have no friends now - do you go out often? If so, do you not make the effort to talk to people? Cos, that's simply where your problem lies - it's not that you're a virgin, that's almost irrelevant (cos psst we all were at some point and some of us were virgins at 20+ too) if you meet the right people - you make friends and you'll be happier, that'll reflect in your personality and people will start to notice you.
79
Can you tell us what you are willing to do about your situation? How far do you reckon you're willing to stick your neck out?
It's easy to emphasize on the lack of kissing/sex/etc aspect, but I can tell you now that once you finally reach that stage, it isn't as significant anymore as you thought it would be because you'll usually have gained the self confidence you need in order to be content with who you are as a person.
NOTHING we say will help you if you are not going to take some risks and step out of your comfort zone.
You can do this if you want to. :thumb:
I see you ignored my suggestion of going to a thesite meet a few pages back Hornet. Well, I am showing you where all these (very real) "don't care if you're a virgin" people are, are you likely to go forth?
:yes:
What's the point of you moaning about something and not bothering to do anything about it? If you have no friends, then get out instead of sitting around moaning about it.
As for you being a virgin - who cares? It's only an issue because you make it out to be one.
what? shush unless you have something useful to contribute.:wave:
I tried to address it, by going to counselling at college, but they have a limit to the number of sessions one person can have, so that one didn't get far. To be frank, I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with this meaningless life, everyone out there is still the enemy and probably always will be and I'm scared of all that the future has in store. I just can't do this.
I can also understand why such a "routine" in your life is so disillusioning. A few years ago, I got up, went to work, came home again. Much like yourself. I think that work is a good way to meet up with people. As for college, what do you study? There's bound to be somebody out there who'd be interested in you somehow. Take it from someone who had no confidence at all at that age, and now at the age of 22, is getting nearer and nearer to being the life and soul of the party! The suggestion of going to a TheSite meet is very alluring - for me, it was the first time I'd ever gone to the pub for a drink, the first time I'd ever been away from home, in a mighty city like London. I strongly suggest you try it. Who knows, I might be able to meet you there, I haven't been to any for a while now.
However, please make sure that you do at least try something. I was, for quite some time, a living testament to what happens when you do nothing with your life. It's still something that is around in a different form today. Please don't waste your life. Any questions, feel free to ask here or via PM. Good luck to you.
What?
People are giving you shit because you're not helping yourself.
You can't just sit and whine and moan at crap, you have to take the bull by the horns.
:yes: Hornet, get out there and experience life. Nothing will change otherwise.
Good point, but the question has to be asked, am I missing out on anything? Words can't convey how thoroughly sick I am of people these days. From what I've seen of people so far, I'm not missing out on anything.
As for your point about sex and relationships being new to you, that's actually a potential advantage. You've never been in a relationship before, so you have no idea what to expect, you go into it without any prejudices and thoughts from previous relationships. As for the sex, if you're with the right girl, when she finds out you're a virgin, she will be more than happy to corrupt you! You're missing out on life itself. And that is a terrible tragedy. You're missing out on the lows and highs of friendships, the lows and highs of relationships. You're missing out, full stop.
In 10 years if nothing changes will you look back on your life and say that was worth it. What little time we have on this planet should be cherished. I suffer from anxiety and know that fear can control us. But it's only by pushing on and trying to overcome the fear of the unknown - meeting new people, saying hello to a stranger, taking up a new hobby or job - that we can experience life, so in 10 years you can look back on the good times and the bad and say that was worth living.
I spent many teenage years doing nothing and I regret it, and I look back and regret because I'll never be a teenager again, and all those discos and proms I refused to go to because I was worried about people I will never get another shot at. Embrace life, if you only have 5 minutes left of life it's still worth taking a chance because you've nothing left to lose so it's never too late.
You tell us. You're the one who seems to be on the website asking for advice. Obviously deep down you do feel you're missing out, or you wouldn't be here.
I haven't met anyone like that, ever and I'm 20. So you'll forgive me if I say that such a person does not exist. This is all on the off-chance that I'll meet someone who'll understand me for what I really am.