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Try this, as it always worked for me:
Get some viatmin E capsules from boots or wherever, has to be the ones with the luqiud type stuff inside. Get a pin, prick the capsule skin and apply the stuff inside to the scars everyday before bed. Its takes a while to work but Vit E helps to promote healing. To be honest it works best of fresh cuts rather then old ones (which is why I have very few s/h scars), but might help you.
Thanks. Its already has got worse. I think its more the depression than the self harm at the moment. My 'normal' self would be trying to stop and fighting it becuase I no I dont want the scars and everything but I really feel like I dont care at all, about anything. Really pesimistic I no. Its really wierd because a couple of months ago, if someone had sugested that I would ever be in this mess I would have laughed in their face. I would have said that I would never let it get so far, I would get help so I can get back to dancing and my training as soon as possible. That I wouldnt want to waste all this time mopping about everyday, I would want to work this out myself.
But actually, not caring or remembering anything & not having a clue what I think or feel anymore... it totally bliss. I dont have to deal with anything because non of it matters. Its sad that its got to this point and I dont even no why. Lol i dont even care why.
It does help to write stuff down. I gona go and eat Ben & Jerry's and watch films.
I'm on PM or my MSN is up there .^. if you need owt.
didnt want to just read that and not reply. just wanted to let you know im thinking of you, and pm me if you want to chat ever.
Basically no, but I dont even no where I would go. And if I'd be able to talk to any random stranger.
Mind you, I wish everyone could have the counsellor I had because she was brilliant and im sure not all are as good.
Not looking forward to exams - one week, four three-hour exams, no stress-release mechanism. :banghead: God, I'm tempted to start smoking agin!
How's he doing now? Still going good?
Hopefully mine will manage to sort himself out before he causes himself real problems but I don't see it happening in the near future.
I wish I could tell you what's going on but I'm still trying to work that one out myself. The fact you didn't act on the thoughts is a good start. When you get them try and do something to lift your mood. Write down the reasons why you shouldn't act on them and re-read it. It usually works for me because it makes things seem less pointless when I can see what I've got rather than what I haven't. Remember there are people here that understand and if you want to talk just PM me *hugs*
Anywho...
It feels like it's 4 against 1. Everytime I think I've beaten 1 another comes back. Hell, I thought I'd beaten three of them but as soon as I try and tackle the last they come back and fuck everything up. Looks like I'm going to be stuck with at least one of them for ever. They wont let me win and how can I fight 4 things at once?
And why is all this happening a week before my bloody exams and a month before I move house? As if I haven't got enough to think about!
Grrrr argh! :mad:
Grrr. Have a sociology exam a week today, now have to decide whether I revise my arse off, or fail the course.
:yeees:
Throw yourself into your revision, it should hopefully be a distraction. Pity I Cant be bothered to do any revision yet!
On another note my parents are going away next week, so I'll be on my own at home. Not sure how I'll cope, beining on my own! My boyfriend has a new job which means early starts so I cant really seem him during the weeks now.
Haven't been able to throw myself into revision though. May just go to bed tbh. Not in the mood for revision.
Incidentally, you can't necessarily see self-harm. Most people hide it. I've chosen, now I'm recovering, to exercise my right to wear whatever I damn well like because I think society needs to start accepting people who've self-harmed.
Well said!
An other good thing about wearing your scars in public is that it acts as a screening process, people who judge you by seeing them and make assomption and shit will not come and want to be your friend, which is good as if they do such they most of the time don't a clue and would just waste your time.
The only time I hide mines is when I go back home or if I go to a job interview.
Of course, it won't happen till after uni probs cause I suck at life.
But I'd make a music festival out of it, cause music always helps. Yas!
I feel sodding awful at the moment. Hate tablets - always horny, always sweaty, always tired. Meh...
Here, have this. It's for you:
:birthday:
(Inside the cake is a hug)
I was doing well, havent cut into the 2nd layer of skin for months and months.
pathetic
Anyways... I actually feel ok, no self harm in nearly 3months, lost track of when the last cut was, can't be arsed to keep counting anymore tbh. The test will be this week though, my Aunt died last week, and her funeral is the day of my first exam, so I can't go to the funeral, and am worrying about the exam.
There was a possibility of me being able to take the exam on my own, instead of in a massive exam hall, which I think could help, but depends how I feel on the day I think.
Got my new car last night, was a big inncentive to work harder etc.
Am now eating a Mars bar- or should I say a 'Believe' bar, and going out for a drive later.
Life is going ok. For once. Counselling is a bitch though. Like the counsellor, just hate her questions, how she refers to me as being 'depressed', how the questions are asked, the depth in which I'm meant to answer her. And how I only have 5 sessions left with her, 5 SESSIONS?! Like that's gonna be enough! Still seeing Additional Support though, and am really finding them useful. Just want to stand on my own two feet though, I mean if my friends can make it through exams, revision etc, then why the hell can't I?
I'm not 'depressed' as the councillor calls it, I'm just struggling in life with myself.
This may make me a hypocrit, but no matter how long you've stopped for, it's a great accomplishment, it's the fact that you've stopped that is important. This makes me a hypocrit, cos I never used to see how well I was doing, I had friends e.g. Click saying how well I've done, but I honestly couldn't see it. It was like it was invisable, and I had my black shaded glasses on, only seeing the negatives.
ETA: To quote Click: 'Congratulations on losing track of the days - you're winning, and you fucking know it'.
That made me feel good, I'm winning at the moment. Don't know how long it'll last, but I'm making the most of it, and making the most of my good mood and positive-ness, which frankly, can be a rarity!!!
As time goes by, you'll hopefully find that the sesions were more useful than your first though. Surprisingly little is achieved in the sessions - they just seem to say enough to help you look at things in a different light, and be able to understand them, and deal with them better.
I'm sorry about your aunt.
Congrats on the car . Feel free to pop up and relieve my frustration .
What is the point?
A day will come and you'll realise that you're not winning any more. You'll not be able to remember the last time you cut, nor the last time you wanted to cut. At which point, you've won .
It's all about little achievements - if you can go for 5 days without cutting, then even if you cut on day six the achievement doesn't disappear. It's just that you have to start at day one again - in five days time you'll have equalled your previous achievement .
Had you not cut, you'd have been on the eleventh day...