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Cheating...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok, it has been on mind a little bit after talking with my friends. We had this chat about cheating and whether it is ever ok to do.

I was saying no way, if you are in a relationship you shouldnt cheat. Now, when i was younger i did cheat (kissing only as it was before my sex days began) but i stopped when i really liked a girl who went and cheated on me and it showed me how bad it was.

But my mates were all like, "well, if my gals away and she wont find out and i can get some on the side, i do!"

They were like, if their girlfriend and in one case her boyfriend was away they would happily sleep around as "no one would get hurt".

Now i know we have had cheating threads before, but it has been a while since there has been much of a discussion on it so thought i would ask, what do you all think about it?

Right now i wouldnt ever cheat, even though i have a friend who i was a fuck buddy with (not anymore now) and could cheat with if i wanted, i just wouldnt. But what about anyone else? Would you or do you think it is ever ok to cheat on your partner?
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dont see the point in it to be honest

    why be in a relationship that you`re not giving 110% to?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd say it varies from relationship to relationship and what it means to the people concerned.

    I've done it in the past, and it was an ok thing to do in the circumstances. I've also had relationships where I'd never dream of doing such a thing and I'd hate to think he would have either. Horses for courses and all that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd say it varies from relationship to relationship and what it means to the people concerned.

    I've done it in the past, and it was an ok thing to do in the circumstances. I've also had relationships where I'd never dream of doing such a thing and I'd hate to think he would have either. Horses for courses and all that.

    What were the circumstances? if you don't mind me asking...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no, it's never acceptable. if you want to cheat on someone, split up with them first please. :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Littleali wrote:
    i dont see the point in it to be honest

    why be in a relationship that you`re not giving 110% to?

    I agree. If you want to sleep around then stay single. I suppose some people just like the best of both worlds. A regular lay and the love from a relationship, but also the chase of trying to bed someone else and having different sexual experiences with others.

    IMO i wouldn't cheat, I think it is morally wrong and I see no point in it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I wouldn't ever do it.

    If you want to sleep with somebody else then make sure you're single first!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    People always get found out in the end...

    I've cheated twice, once after my birthday in 2004... i was drunk and slept with one of my ex's, my bf lived away at the time and i thought it would be ok, but i felt so guilty i actually broke up with him for what i'd done...

    then the other time was this year, i was planning on meeting someone up and then break up with my current bf, but turns out i was completely wrong, ended up having a massive argument with them and breaking my leg as a result.... (long story lol) but in the end my bf at the time found out and he knew about everything, we carried on for about 6 months after that but it was always brought up in one way or another... we ended up breaking up mainly because he couldn't handle that.. which i wouldn't expect him to..

    anyway, after all this waffling on, no i would never cheat again... I feel too guilty anyway and I'm so happy at the moment it wouldn't enter my mind to do it again!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have no heart, or conscience. I don't see anything wrong with cheating.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I never have and never would cheat.

    I think the only way i would be tempted to cheat is if someone cheated on me and I wanted them to know how it feels, or if i wanted revenge. Yes its childish and yes it makes me almost as bad as them, but thats the only scenario where I would so much as think about doing it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    LacyMay wrote:
    I have no heart, or conscience. I don't see anything wrong with cheating.


    why on earth not?

    sorry i'm just intrigued as to why you'd want to enter a relationship and then go off with other people. would you not mind if your partner cheated on you??
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've never cheated sexually but I have kissed other girls whilst being drunk.
    I'd like to say I wouldn't cheat again and I'd never cheat sexually as I know how it feels to have someone you thought loved you sleep with someone else, however if I was really pissed and some incredibly good looking female was trying it on with me, would I be able to refuse? I'd like to think that I could say no but you will never really know until the time comes.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    but i don't understand why you'd be with someone who you were willing to cheat on. i can never ever see myself cheating - i think it's such a horrible thing to do to someone.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    but i don't understand why you'd be with someone who you were willing to cheat on. i can never ever see myself cheating - i think it's such a horrible thing to do to someone.

    Oh I totally agree, believe me I was heartbroken when my ex cheated on me, I'd never wish that pain on anyone let alone someone I liked.
    I wouldn't be willing to cheat on anyone, I certainly wouldn't go out on the pull looking for someone, it's just I know how easy it is when you're wasted and some HOT girl tries it on with you to just go along with it....
    I don't know, hopefully I would be able to turn them down, I'm just saying you don't know until it happens
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    being drunk is no excuse! :no:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmm well I'd never cheat if I was sober and as I said, I've NEVER cheated sexually and I'm 90% sure that no matter how wasted I was and how hot the girl was that was trying it on with me, I still wouldn't have sex with her if I was in a relationship. However kissing is a different matter, I've done it before and I felt awful about it afterwards but if you're pissed then sometimes these things just happen no matter how much I might regret it in the morning...although as I said, I'd like to think I wouldn't even kiss another girl whilst pissed again but who knows?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kissing could be seen as being 'sexual' though, surely?

    if you wouldn't cheat when sober, you shouldn't do it when drunk either.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Blah wrote:
    I never have and never would cheat.

    Likewise.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kissing could be seen as being 'sexual' though, surely?

    if you wouldn't cheat when sober, you shouldn't do it when drunk either.

    Well I guess we're all entitled to our own opinions...
    Please don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not arguing FOR cheating... I hate the idea of cheating on someone you're with, I know how it feels when someone does it to you, I've never slept with anyone else while in a relationship and the few times that I have kissed other girls I felt so guilty afterwards...
    My point is though that alcohol is a drug which can change you're personality while you're under it's influence and you never truely know what's going to happen until it's happening, no matter what your beliefs and morals are... even the kindest most trustworthy people have been known to cheat or just be a general penis whilst pissed.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not into cheating either.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've cheated before, dont think i would again though - the guilt is horrendous!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Cheating is lazy and cowardly.

    I can see why people are tempted, maybe their relationship's in a trough and they're a bit bored with their partner, and if a new person is throwing themselves at you it could seem like a fun thing to do to relieve the boredom. That doesn't make it acceptable, but I can see why people would do it. People who cheat don't generally expect to get caught.

    But that's what makes it so cowardly and lazy. Rather than work through the problems, or end it, its a quick fix to make themselves feel better. You get to shag a new fun person and you don't have to commit to a decision to end your relationship and you don't have to commit to making your relationship work.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you can't get what you want from one person, be happy being with them not just for the sex either, you shouldnt be in a relationship.

    Cheating is an absolute no-no.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I cheated on my boyfriend when I was 17, but he was my first boyfriend and that was pretty much my first everything - he opened up me being trollopy then haha.

    Plus, I haven't had an inclination for any other time.

    I don't think I will in future. I'm in agreeance with everyone. If you want to cheat either address how shit your initial relationship is or break up.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm quite big on trust, I couldnt be with someone if I didnt trust them, and I never break peoples trust with me. So I think cheating is such a shit thing to do, being drunk or high is a bollox excuse!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    why on earth not?

    sorry i'm just intrigued as to why you'd want to enter a relationship and then go off with other people. would you not mind if your partner cheated on you??

    Well i don't see anything wrong with having a bf for relationship type stuff, and other blokes to fuck. I would be angry if someone did it to me, purely cos i don't like people getting one over on me. But i wouldn't be that bothered. Anyway thats based on past bfs. I can't say that i won't meet someone in the future that i like enough to not do it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I cheated on my ex, he was very abusive sometimes but loving at others, he ended up going to prison and I said I'd wait. However, I found a new life, one where men were noit so evil and I had a bit of fun. I wrote a Dear John and the end is history. I don't feel guilty because of the horrid things he put me through.
    However, I would have never cheated if the circumstances were different. Plus I'd never let some dick treat me like that again.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    LacyMay wrote:
    Well i don't see anything wrong with having a bf for relationship type stuff, and other blokes to fuck.

    It's wrong if you don't let your bf know beforehand- open relationships work for some people, but that's not cheating.

    I can see how you would love someone and want to fuck others, but that doesn't mean its right, and I do honestly think its lazy and cowardly.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    It's wrong if you don't let your bf know beforehand- open relationships work for some people, but that's not cheating.

    I can see how you would love someone and want to fuck others, but that doesn't mean its right, and I do honestly think its lazy and cowardly.

    Well i would probably tell them beforehand or straight after. I wouldn't hide it. Not sure if thats better or worse!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    LacyMay wrote:
    Well i would probably tell them beforehand or straight after. I wouldn't hide it. Not sure if thats better or worse!

    If you agree an open relationship then its fine, its not cheating.

    If you don't agree then its very very wrong.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    If you agree an open relationship then its fine, its not cheating.

    If you don't agree then its very very wrong.

    I know it's wrong, i'd still do it though. It's not that i'd set out to hurt people but i find it hard to understand what they'd feel if i did do it.
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