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Cheating...

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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:
    Wanting to get it on with another girl or wanting to smack that annoying cunt at the bar is nothing to be ashamed of. It's normal.

    I'd agree with that to an extent, but whilst its normal to think that a lass has a nice rack, I don't think its quite so normal to sit there and think about doing her- if you're in a good relationship. And even less normal to then actually go and pull her.

    If you're seriously thinking about cheating then that is the problem, not the booze- I don't believe that anyone in a good relationship would go and pull another girl instead of going home and getting some with the woman they love.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,214 Skive's The Limit
    Kermit wrote:
    That's not the same thing, though.

    Being with a girl I'm serious about doesn't mean I stop thinking "I'd like to fuck her" about other girls. But then I also think "No I wouldn't because I've got something better". Drink too much and you can find yourself acting first, thinking later.
    Kermit wrote:
    Hell, I see loads of cute lasses out and about (I work with enough of em), and they aren't exactly harsh on the eye. But even drunk I haven't and wouldn't cheat with them.

    Do you not agree that alcohol allows people to do things they would never actually do whilst sober?
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,214 Skive's The Limit
    Kermit wrote:
    I don't believe that anyone in a good relationship would go and pull another girl instead of going home and getting some with the woman they love.

    I think those even in a good relationship might think about it though. Just because your in love doesn't mean you don't get sexual feeling towards other women - otherwise you might aswell lump lapdancers and porn as cheating.
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:
    Do you not agree that alcohol allows people to do things they would never actually do whilst sober?

    I do agree with that, but I don't agree that being drunk makes someone do something that they don't want to do. Therefore its no excuse whatsoever.

    Porn's slightly different, it is for me anyway, its more about looking at the naked woman and the act rather than fantasising about having sex with her. I can understand that people find other women very attractive- I do- I just don't understand the leap from admiring her figure to pulling her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Regardless I know that if my partner cheated I'd be devo'd but if they were sober and had a one night stand I'd be even more gutted than if they were drunk.
    Either way is not right though.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,214 Skive's The Limit
    Kermit wrote:
    I do agree with that, but I don't agree that being drunk makes someone do something that they don't want to do. Therefore its no excuse whatsoever.

    I agree, but I think think that there something incredibly wrong with wanting to get it on with other girls (as long as you don't go admitting it to your missus). Cheating is an act, not a thought.

    The point I've been trying to make is that your more likely to act out your desires after skinful, and that there are people who may cheat whilst pissed who normally would never cheat when sober. For them the most simple answer is to know your limits with drink.
    I've never claimed it to be an excuse. Being pissed is never an excuse for somebody's actions.
    Kermit wrote:
    Porn's slightly different, it is for me anyway, its more about looking at the naked woman and the act rather than fantasising about having sex with her. I can understand that people find other women very attractive- I do- I just don't understand the leap from admiring her figure to pulling her.

    What about strippers? Can you be in relationship and go to a strip club? How is that any different than being in a bar, seeing a bit of talent and thinking "I'd like to get my end away with her'?
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think there's a huge difference between seeing a fit bird and having a look and seeing a fit bird and wanting to do her.

    Strippers, like with porn, are there to look not touch, and that's a big difference.

    There's nowt wrong with looking at the menu, but when you start thinking about buying its a different matter.

    I'd agree that cheating is an act not a thought- you don't cheat by starting at a girl with a nice arse. But if you are seeing girls and always thinking about making a move to have sex with them then you are in the wrong- even if you don't ever do anything about it.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,214 Skive's The Limit
    Kermit wrote:
    I'd agree that cheating is an act not a thought- you don't cheat by starting at a girl with a nice arse. But if you are seeing girls and always thinking about making a move to have sex with them then you are in the wrong- even if you don't ever do anything about it.

    The difference between one and the other can be a skinful.

    When I'm in a relationship and sober, I don't make moves on girls or make plans to cheat with them. I never have and never would.
    But for me a skinful can be the difference between admiring what's on the menu and going for something on the menu. It hasn't happened many times, and thankfully the one time I did lose all common sense, a mate of mine was good enough to sort me out.

    It's exactly the same with me with fighting.
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:

    Do you see what I mean now?


    yeh kinda. :yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've cheated before... kind of. Not sleeping / passionately kissing, but extreme excessive flirting that I would call cheating *blush*. At the time it seemed innocent enough, but that was probably because I was horny and was enjoying the attention.

    I know if I had a girlfriend who was doing that kind of thing I wouldn't be happy. That said, I let my girlfriend do far worse before breaking up with her.

    So, at the end of the day, cheating sucks but people do it anyway. If you get lucky then you'll be with someone who wont cheat, if you're not so lucky you'll be with someone you trust and doesn't think they'll get found out, and they'll do it whenever they can (even if they say to themselves 'just this once').

    I think thats the foudnation for the 'once a cheat, always a cheat' - because it's based on the actual person. If you want to get to the practical side of it, if you dont get caught then whats the harm? But I know I couldnt cheat because I would know. Some people think having that kind of thing on their consciounce is fine. Fair doos.

    Just hope I dont get stuck with another one :grump:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    And also, I think thinking about other people is one step in that direction. If its random porno stars, thats fine. But how would you like if your partner was in bed masturbating to a work colleague right now? Thinking how nice it would be to have a dirty little session when you're not around, the excitement of doing something naughty being a major turn on.

    eta: although yea, it's not overt cheating. I'm just thinking, in my mind the problem with cheating is you have your :heart: and should devote it to the person (or people i.e. kids / pets) you love, and deviating from that is cheating yourself. Even if nobody else ever knew, you would know that at sometime you had thought about someone else in a sexual way.
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