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Cheating...

13

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ^^
    I'd say whilst you solve your problems - don't get drunk.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:
    No. if you don't cheat when your sober yet cheating when drunk becomes a possibility, the answer is there in black and white.
    agree
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ha, I couldn't disagree more.
    why?

    if the only reason you cheat is because you`re drunk, dont get drunk

    simple
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Littleali wrote:
    why?

    if the only reason you cheat is because you`re drunk, dont get drunk

    simple
    Because you shouldn't be cheating full stop. Regardless of being drunk or not. And whilst not getting drunk is a temporary solution, its not hitting the route of the problem, is it? And as if you're never gonna go out and get drunk..If you have no self-control with regards cheating, you're suddenly gonna gain self control with regards drinking? Likely story.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My point wasn't that drinking doesn't make people suseptible to cheating, its that there has to be an urge to cheat for the drink to make you tempted to do it. The drink lowers the inhibition of cheating, but all it does is bring out the subconscious desire to cheat. It doesn't make a man who loves his gf suddenly shag someone else.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you cheat when you're pissed, then aye, don't get drunk. But that's only a short term fix of the problem, it doesn't address the underlying problem, so just saying "Well don't get pissed" is a huge over-simplification IMO.

    I'd be willing to bet that anyone who cheats when drunk is just as likely to do it sober. They just use being intoxicated as an excuse.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,214 Skive's The Limit
    I have never cheated on a girl sober and never would, but have come close to whilst pissed. If it hadn't been for a mate of mine stopping me I would have.

    As with any drug that changes the chemistry of brain, it changes the way you behave and can allow you to do things you never would sober. It's not just a case of lowering your inhibtions, that's overly simplifying it's effects.

    If the only time there's a possibility of your cheating is whilst your pissed the answer is not to drink as much. There is no other answer.
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd be willing to bet that anyone who cheats when drunk is just as likely to do it sober.

    If we're saying that kissing counts as cheating then you're on, asshole :razz:

    If you're absolutely off your face on the dancefloor at 3am and a girls starts kissing you, you're a lot less likely to be able to back off than you would be if you were sober.

    It's entirely possible for anybody (regardless of what they're likely to do when they're sober) to have a kiss with somebody when you're so drunk don't know what the hell you're doing. I've done it before when I was sort of with somebody, but I still wouldn't ever cheat on a girl when I'm sober.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bri-namite wrote:
    If we're saying that kissing counts as cheating then you're on, asshole :razz:

    If you're absolutely off your face on the dancefloor at 3am and a girls starts kissing you, you're a lot less likely to be able to back off than you would be if you were sober.

    It's entirely possible for anybody (regardless of what they're likely to do when they're sober) to have a kiss with somebody when you're so drunk don't know what the hell you're doing. I've done it before when I was sort of with somebody, but I still wouldn't ever cheat on a girl when I'm sober.

    Precisely what I was saying earlier!
    I've never slept with someone else whilst in a relationship and even if I was fucking pissed I'm 90% sure I wouldn't.
    But I have kissed other girls whilst being wasted and yes I felt bad about it and I'd like to think I'd never do it again but you just don't know! If you get so pissed and some hot girl comes on to you, who knows what will happen? You don't know until it actually happens, even if you're not usually like that at all.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    pill 'ed wrote:
    Precisely what I was saying earlier!
    I've never slept with someone else whilst in a relationship and even if I was fucking pissed I'm 90% sure I wouldn't.
    But I have kissed other girls whilst being wasted and yes I felt bad about it and I'd like to think I'd never do it again but you just don't know! If you get so pissed and some hot girl comes on to you, who knows what will happen? You don't know until it actually happens, even if you're not usually like that at all.

    Yep.

    Although I was on about being so drunk you could hardly stand, didn't know what the fuck was going on and were so drunk you didn't notice whether the girl you kissed was hot or not (or even a girl). If you kissed somebody when you were that pissed, then I don't think that'd necessarily reflect your morals when you were sober.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bri-namite wrote:
    If we're saying that kissing counts as cheating then you're on, asshole :razz:

    If you're absolutely off your face on the dancefloor at 3am and a girls starts kissing you, you're a lot less likely to be able to back off than you would be if you were sober.

    It's entirely possible for anybody (regardless of what they're likely to do when they're sober) to have a kiss with somebody when you're so drunk don't know what the hell you're doing. I've done it before when I was sort of with somebody, but I still wouldn't ever cheat on a girl when I'm sober.


    still a load of rubbish, imo. i have been drunk as a skunk and if someone tried it on with me i'd tell them where to go (if i had a boyfriend i mean).
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,214 Skive's The Limit
    still a load of rubbish, imo. i have been drunk as a skunk and if someone tried it on with me i'd tell them where to go (if i had a boyfriend i mean).

    Alcohol has different effects on different people. Have you never seen anybody personality change as result of drinking too much? I have.

    When I'm in a relationship it doesn't mean I automatically stop wanting to fuck other girls, but I don't fuck other girls because I realise that I'd spoil what I have - something much better. When I get extremely pissed however, it's less easy to recognise that, and mistakes become much easier to make.
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    still a load of rubbish, imo. i have been drunk as a skunk and if someone tried it on with me i'd tell them where to go (if i had a boyfriend i mean).

    Nah, I still say there's a point when you don't know what you're doing to the point where you are literally stumbling about on the dancefloor, dancing with random people, somebody sticks their tongue down your throat and you don't have the presence of mind to think "fuck off, I've got a girlfriend" and if we're going to take it to ridiculous levels then your lips probably just sort of move then bang - you've cheated.

    Not saying it's excusable, but it's more than possible to do stuff like that when you're totally off your face.

    I've been so drunk I've not even been aware I was snogging somebody and I've been beyond mortified the next day when I found out, so how that indicates I'd be likely to cheat when I'm sober I don't know.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lol or when you wake up in the morning and somewhere in the back of your head you have a feeling that you made out with someone...you don't know who and you don't remember doing it but you have a strange feeling that you did, then eventually someone fills you in...
    I hate those days because you're not sure if you did or not, and if you did, you don't have a fucking clue who it was, and you got to live with that on your mind until someone tells you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:
    Alcohol has different effects on different people. Have you never seen anybody personality change as result of drinking too much? I have.

    of course, alcohol changes most people even if it just makes them a bit more confident. however to some extent i think you have to have it in you in the first place.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,214 Skive's The Limit
    of course, alcohol changes most people even if it just makes them a bit more confident. however to some extent i think you have to have it in you in the first place.

    The potential to cheat is in everybody. Being with somebody doesn't mean that I automatically stop finding other girls attractive.
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:
    The potential to cheat is in everybody. Being with somebody doesn't mean that I automatically stop finding other girls attractive.


    i didn't say it did, i still find people attractive but i of course don't act on it and like my partner at the time more.

    the potential to murder people is in everyone but it doesn't mean we do it!
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,214 Skive's The Limit
    i didn't say it did

    But people have been suggesting that is the problem and that even if you have thoughts about cheating you shouldn't be in a relationship. Something that I think is absurd.
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Read an article that said about how being a cheater might be genetic... Odd.

    I've seen the damage cheating does, my father cheated on Mum at least 4 times and I think it's horrible... It has kinda made me resent the act to be honest.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    personally i think it's one of the worst things you can do to someone. having your trust betrayed like that must be awful and i hope it's something i never have to go through.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't know about cheating being genetic, growing up with an unfaithful parent could go both ways I guess - either make the child very resentful and intolerant to cheating as MoonRat said, or affect them in a "lead by example" kind of way. One of the delightful theories on unfaithfulness I have often been is that it's the nature of men to cheat and therefore they should get free passes for it. Ha ha ha.

    As for myself, I never say never, but I am as positive as I can be that I will never cheat. I think my relationship would have to be dead in the water for the desire to be strong enough to do it, and since I have no problem with euthanizing a dead end relationship I don't see it happening. Though of course I can't say 100%.

    I have been cheated on many times (all by the same person) and the alcohol/drugs factor often came into it. I don't doubt that being out of his tree was the catalyst for cheating, but it certainly wasn't the motivation - pity he didn't have the brass tacks to be single and pull to his heart's content without causing hurt in the process :impissed: Obviously the blame lay with me, too, since it seems that when I gave him an inch of understanding he took a mile and felt somehow vindicated.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think drink does change people all that much- it just makes them more confident, lowers their inhibitions, and makes them more likely to react from their gut feelings rather than from considered thinking. Many people who become violent through drink are violent anyway, they are just able to control it when sober.

    I still maintain that if you cheat when drunk then you didn't cheat because you were drunk, you cheated because you wanted to and didn't care about the consequences too much. Drink, like hypnosis, stops people from considering everything fully, but it doesn't make someone do something that they don't want to do.

    If a relationship is going well you don't cheat, no matter how pissed you are.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,214 Skive's The Limit
    Kermit wrote:
    If a relationship is going well you don't cheat, no matter how pissed you are.

    I don't believe that. You can have a good relationship whilst still finding other people attractive.

    You analogy with fighting is a good one. There are times when I'm sober when I feel like sparking a particularly annoying cunt out, but I don't because it'd be wrong. There's no crime in wanting to do something. With a few drinks in me however and I'd probably go through with with it. It's a simple case of alcohol making you act first, think later. It's one of the reasons I never get really pissed in town, I've know my limits.

    If I'm in a relationship I may want to get it on with somebody else simply though lust, and there absolutely nothign wrong with that until the point I act those feelings out. As I said before, there's no thought police.
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    I don't think drink does change people all that much- it just makes them more confident, lowers their inhibitions, and makes them more likely to react from their gut feelings rather than from considered thinking. Many people who become violent through drink are violent anyway, they are just able to control it when sober.

    I still maintain that if you cheat when drunk then you didn't cheat because you were drunk, you cheated because you wanted to and didn't care about the consequences too much. Drink, like hypnosis, stops people from considering everything fully, but it doesn't make someone do something that they don't want to do.

    If a relationship is going well you don't cheat, no matter how pissed you are.

    I totally agree with that. I know full well when i have drank alot that the last thing i would do is cheat, i love my boyfriend and would never do that. Now if i was drunk and unhappy in the relationship, that could be different, but i still know i wouldn't do it as i have morals when it comes to such things.

    As for Skive, you'd make any girl paranoid if her boyfriend went out on the piss.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,214 Skive's The Limit
    squeal wrote:
    As for Skive, you'd make any girl paranoid if her boyfriend went out on the piss.

    They should be no more paranoid than the boys with girlfirends who drink.
    As I'e said many times alcohol effects everybody in different ways and I'm not talking about being a little pissed, I'm talking about being completey wrecked. If you get into a state where you have trouble remembering the night before, you're likely to have had difficulty making decisions too.

    It's exactly the same with fighting. I may want to knock that cunts head off, but I don't because I'm able to make the correct choices when I'm sober. When I'm pissed theres a possibility that the decision may go the other way.

    Since when has wanting to smack somebody, or wanting to get off with another girl been wrong?
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:

    Since when has wanting to smack somebody, or wanting to get off with another girl been wrong?

    Did no one tell you? Your going straight to hell.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    LacyMay wrote:
    Did no one tell you? Your going straight to hell.

    Have a feeling that I'm going to be there waiting for him...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:
    I don't believe that. You can have a good relationship whilst still finding other people attractive.

    cheating and finding someone attractive are totally different!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:
    I don't believe that. You can have a good relationship whilst still finding other people attractive.

    That's not the same thing, though.

    Hell, I see loads of cute lasses out and about (I work with enough of em), and they aren't exactly harsh on the eye. But even drunk I haven't and wouldn't cheat with them.
    .
    If you're that gagging for it you should be going home to your missus for your oats.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,214 Skive's The Limit
    cheating and finding someone attractive are totally different!

    I know that. This is what I've been saying all along.

    Wanting to get it on with another girl or wanting to smack that annoying cunt at the bar is nothing to be ashamed of. It's normal. Actaully doing those things IS something to be ashamed of however - a fact that becomes less obvious with the more drink you consume.

    Do you see what I mean now?

    Earlier in this thread Young & Sexy was saying that if you're prone to cheating whilst pissed, it's not the drinking but the wanting to cheat that's the problem. I don't believe that because I think wanting to get it on with other people is quite a common thing whilst even in a good relationship. The point is that you don't cheat because love and trust win over lust.
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
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