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Cheating...

24

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wait 'til you fall in love and it happens, that's hurt for you. Somehow that level of pain makes you stop but then it can go the other way where you'll want to go out and get revenge.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have cheated before. But i was young and inexperienced.

    To be honest, as people have said already, it is hard to say no. I think that "if you loved someone it would never happen" is a very ignorant statement.
    Ive been very deeply in love with one person for 3 years now, but that second where you know that other someone has the hots for you, wants you, will give it to you....theres something biological, instinctual, whatever that happens there that no amount of higher brain function logic or heart felt love can change.
    So to summarise, cheating IS bad, but to say you dont feel that spark, that magnetism, that chemistry is just silly. The true test is how you deal with that moment, can you say no or not?
    Then you can be all preachy about cheating on a loved one etc.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,214 Skive's The Limit
    When drink or drugs are involved it can be a very easy thing to do.
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    pill 'ed wrote:
    However kissing is a different matter
    Bollocks. It doesn't make a difference whether you kiss someone or sleep with someone - cheating is cheating and you can't get around it. And to be honest, it doesn't make a difference whether it's a drunken fumble. If you're with someone you care about and respect, you shouldn't ever find yourself giving into temptation. And if you don't care about them all that much, you shouldn't be with them in the first place. Waste of time for everyone.

    All that's in theory, of course, and in reality it's a different story. Everyone makes mistakes and all that crap, but I still stand by what I say. There is absolutely no excuse for cheating whatsoever. If you have no self-control then don't bother with a relationship.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When it is offered on a plate by some one very attractive and they are pretty much saying, you can do anything you like, is it more difficult to say no if you are not a cheater?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    For some reason when I'm with someone and in love, I never fancy anyone else. Yes I can recognise someone being attractive but I don't fancy someone.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This is all well and good for serious, committed relationships. There must be people out there though who don't have the level of commitment in their relationships as many of you seem to.

    In the kind of relationships you seem to be talking about I'd say cheating is wrong, but for more relaxed, less developed ones it could be another matter.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    but for more relaxed, less developed ones it could be another matter.
    Only if both parties consent.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you have no self-control then don't bother with a relationship.


    exactly! :thumb:

    even when i've been drunk i've never been tempted to cheat. therefore i fail to see how it's an excuse.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In the kind of relationships you seem to be talking about I'd say cheating is wrong, but for more relaxed, less developed ones it could be another matter.

    But in those kinds of relationships then its not really cheating anyway, if both people are aware that you are seeing other people, unless I am missing the point.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What about 15 year olds who pull someone else at a party, either row and break up over it, or say ah well and stay together?

    Or does what they have not count as a relationship (or as far as this discussions concerned)?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What about 15 year olds who pull someone else at a party, either row and break up over it, or say ah well and stay together?

    Or does what they have not count as a relationship (or as far as this discussions concerned)?


    I think cheating is totally wrong at any age.

    What i was meaning is that...if it is a relationship where cheating is acceptable then it isnt even cheating because that implies that you are going behind someones back, if it accepted how can it be cheating? (you arent deceiving anyone or cheating them in any way)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i hate when people use drinking as an excuse though. No matter how drunk I am, I never forget that I have a boyfriend who I love. And yeah I may think somebody is attractive, but is one drunken kiss/fuck/whatever really worth throwing away a relationship? I think not.

    (by the way that wasnt aimed at anybody I just dont like when people say they just did it because they were drunk)
    totally agree

    i`ve been in some states but i have NEVER cheated on my fella
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I personally have the view that if you feel like cheating, there's something not right with your relationship and you either need to deal with it or get out of said relationship. I haven't been cheated on, but my recent ex always made jokes about "oh, are we not allowed to sleep with other people then? whoops" and things along those lines, and it really got to me after a while. There have been points where I've been very tempted to cheat, I'll admit, mainly cos of alcohol influencing my decisions or (in the only scenario I can currently think of) when I'm in a long distance relationship and wanting affection, but I've always, luckily, managed to bear in mind that I'm with them for a reason.
    Just realized I sound incredibly preachy. Sorry :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i hear about so many people cheating. you lot must all be goody 2shoes
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have and have been cheated on and I'd love to say I won't but never say never.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A relationship is between two people. If you don't want it, terminate it - before you cheat. I do understand the temptation though, and I won't say people who cheat are bad people (depends on the circumstances). I just think you should have the decency to end the relationship before you start sleeping around, for the sake of the other partner.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Alcohol lowers inhibitions but it doesn't make people do stuff that they don't want to do already.

    I do understand why people would cheat, especially when they're young and the relationship isn't developed. But that doesn't mean that its right or acceptable.

    If you haven't reached the stage of a relationship where monogamy is on the cards then fair enough, I don't think its cheating if you sleep with two first-dates in a week, but if you start going out with one of them then it is cheating.

    I don't think having it "offered on a plate" is any excuse- what is this other person giving what your current partner can't?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've cheated in the past. Not proud of it, but not ashamed either. I wouldn't say never again, but I also ended the relationships I was in when it happened.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,214 Skive's The Limit
    Kermit wrote:
    Alcohol lowers inhibitions but it doesn't make people do stuff that they don't want to do already.

    In the past I have slept with some girls I didn't fancy in the slightest whilst pissed or pilled up, girls I didn't want to sleep with whilst sober.

    Of course drinking is not an excuse though, if you make stupid descions when your pissed, you shouldn't get so pissed.
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd like to think I wouldn't cheat on anybody, but most people say that and quite a few of them cheat anyway - I suppose you can only really judge 100% when you're presented with the opportunity.

    I've been cheated on and while it was fucking horrible at the time, it's probably made me a bit less quick to jump into things now.

    To be absolutely honest, I could maybe begin to excuse a girl snogging somebody else behind my back when she was drunk in a club or whatever. If she's honest and really obviously regrets it then it's not the end of the world. But if there's one thing that really hurts is when a girl dumps you without having cheated, said there's nobody else and she just wants to be single - then next minute she's with somebody else.

    It's the lies that's worse than the actual act itself IMO.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It doesn't make a difference whether you kiss someone or sleep with someone - cheating is cheating and you can't get around it.

    While kissing someone else is still cheating, having sex with someone else is, at least in my opinion, much worse. I could forgive a boyfriend for drunkenly kissing someone else, but if it went further than that then I think it would probably pull the curtain on the relationship, no matter how much he was sorry.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I kissed someone else while in a relationship. No excuse but it was completely out of character and I think I wanted to live on the 'wild side' for once. Felt enormously guilty about it afterwards. Realised I didn't care or have enough respect for the person I was seeing because of that kiss and ended things.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:
    if you make stupid descions when your pissed, you shouldn't get so pissed.
    But it's a load of crap to say "I'm not gonna get too drunk tonight, 'cos I might do something I regret." If stopping yourself getting drunk is the only way in which you know you won't cheat, it's not making things better.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,214 Skive's The Limit
    But it's a load of crap to say "I'm not gonna get too drunk tonight, 'cos I might do something I regret."

    Actually it's common sense.
    Alcohol allows people to do stupid things they wouldn't usually do, and that doesn't only go for cheating either - for instance, if you don't want to fall over and smash your face in, don't drink so much.
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:
    Actually it's common sense.
    Alcohol allows people to do stupid things they wouldn't usually do, and that doesn't only go for cheating either - for instance, if you don't want to fall over and smash your face in, don't drink so much.
    I'm not talking about anything else. Where cheating is concerned it's stupid to say the only way to guarantee you won't cheat is to not get drunk.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,214 Skive's The Limit
    I'm not talking about anything else.

    It's a fair analogy so you should consider it.

    If you're prone to doing something stupid when pissed (as some people are), don't get so pissed. It aint rocket science is it? What other answer is there?
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:
    It's a fair analogy so you should consider it.

    If you're prone to doing something stupid when pissed (as some people are), don't get so pissed. It aint rocket science is it? What other answer is there?
    No, it's no rocket science, you're right. I do actually understand.
    But we're not talking about making a twat of yourself when drunk, we're talking about cheating when drunk. And when the problem is cheating when drunk, the answer shouldn't be "don't get so drunk." It's the cheating that's the problem, and if you're prone to doing it when drunk or not you shouldn't bother with a relationship.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,214 Skive's The Limit
    It's the cheating that's the problem, and if you're prone to doing it when drunk or not you shouldn't bother with a relationship.

    No. if you don't cheat when your sober yet cheating when drunk becomes a possibility, the answer is there in black and white.
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:
    No. if you don't cheat when your sober yet cheating when drunk becomes a possibility, the answer is there in black and white.
    Ha, I couldn't disagree more.
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