We're currently updating and consolidating our community guidelines, so you might see a few changes and things being moved to more relevant places. We're not changing how things currently work, just making sure what's written is accurate and up to date.

sex while sleeping?!

2

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I find that really funny!! :lol:

    I don't think there is anything wrong with it! :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If I woke up to my boyfriend secretly shagging me he'd be out that door and wouldn't be coming back. I'm suprised so many people find it ok. Now that you've discussed and all and said he's got the go ahead, fine, whatever floats your boat. But for that first time when he thought you were sleeping but wanted a shag so just went away and pumped anyway, it's totally wrong, in every way.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Littleali wrote:
    surely if she wanted it that much she`d have made him aware she was awake?

    and when you`re "that exhausted that you cant keep your eyes open" i doubt you`d want sex....

    :yes:

    Although the happiest moment of my life was when I woke up and my then girlfriend was giving me the best blowjob in the world. Life won't get better than that, ever :love:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If I woke up to my boyfriend secretly shagging me he'd be out that door and wouldn't be coming back. I'm suprised so many people find it ok. Now that you've discussed and all and said he's got the go ahead, fine, whatever floats your boat. But for that first time when he thought you were sleeping but wanted a shag so just went away and pumped anyway, it's totally wrong, in every way.

    I'm surprised so many people find it weird!

    What exactly is wrong with it? If you wake up horny then why not? Nice to wake up to some fun :naughty: Good start to the day!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm surprised so many people find it weird!

    What exactly is wrong with it? If you wake up horny then why not? Nice to wake up to some fun :naughty: Good start to the day!!
    I wouldn't have a problem with waking up to my boyfriend plesuring me at all, but thats because we've talked about it. To have never spoken about something like that and wake up to your boyfriend humping while he thinks your sleeping is weird. It wouldn't be as bad if he started, she didn't wake up, so he stopped. But the fact that he carried on is craaaazy shit. Something aint right up there.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I wouldn't have a problem with waking up to my boyfriend plesuring me at all, but thats because we've talked about it. To have never spoken about something like that and wake up to your boyfriend humping while he thinks your sleeping is weird. It wouldn't be as bad if he started, she didn't wake up, so he stopped. But the fact that he carried on is craaaazy shit. Something aint right up there.

    Well maybe he was just hoping she'd wake up?

    :chin:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think its borderline rape at all.

    And I find it odd that so many people find this creepy and dodgy, yet being woken up with sex is something that so many people find a turn-on.

    I don't really see very much wrong with it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think it would be funny if it was the other way around and I was asleep and a girl was having sex with me. lol

    Ofcourse I wouldnt have memory of it, or put it down to another dream.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Littleali wrote:
    surely if she wanted it that much she`d have made him aware she was awake?

    Surely if she didn't want it she'd have made him aware? You're really annoying, and I suspect a little naive (which I saying something coming from me), people don't all act the same way, sometimes you do something just to see what would happen, and you end up liking it, which clearly the OP does. Just because it's not the way you'd do it doesn't mean that someone is lying, which seems to be your basic premise.

    I can't think of many ways to be woken up that I'd enjoy more than that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Littleali wrote:
    surely if she wanted it that much she`d have made him aware she was awake?

    Why would she?

    Because you would have? How patronising.

    For some people its a turn-on to have sex in a situation where the usual boundaries aren't there.
    and when you`re "that exhausted that you cant keep your eyes open" i doubt you`d want sex....

    Are you trying to tell the OP (who says she enjoys the sex) that she doesn't want it? :lol:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    HIT wrote:
    I think it would be funny if it was the other way around and I was asleep and a girl was having sex with me. lol

    Ofcourse I wouldnt have memory of it, or put it down to another dream.


    Lol, I tryed to have sex with my ex boyfriend while he was falling asleep, he didn't mind, But, I did find it a bit of a turn-off once he started snoring half way through!! :lol:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's not like he was waking her up with sex though. She was asleep, didn't wake up (or didn't let on she woke up) and he still carried on! To me, at least, there's a difference.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    An ex of mine wanted me to wake her up by having sex with her whilst she was sleeping. I didn't find the idea terribly odd, nor would I have felt uncomfortable doing it. Never did though. :)

    Yeah, the boyfriends mentioned being woke up with something lke this before. Not necessarily sex, but I doubt he'd say no.

    Tbh, if you both enjoyed it, and it's not a regular thing, then I don't see the harm. Might be quite fun, if we haven't tried it, who are us lot to judge it as anything bad? :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    We can try it if you want, Nik. ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    Surely if she didn't want it she'd have made him aware? You're really annoying, and I suspect a little naive (which I saying something coming from me), people don't all act the same way, sometimes you do something just to see what would happen, and you end up liking it, which clearly the OP does. Just because it's not the way you'd do it doesn't mean that someone is lying, which seems to be your basic premise.

    I can't think of many ways to be woken up that I'd enjoy more than that.
    how am i naive? i`m 21, with 2 degrees, working, engaged, more or less running a house....

    my point is....why would u pretend to be asleep if you wanted it? why wouldnt you at least make him aware you were awake?
    why wouldnt you make an effort and join in if you were horny?

    a lot of people have echoed what i said, if you dont agree, fair enough, but plenty of people have, some even going as far to say it`s borderline rape, so dont lower the tone to personal insults because you dont agree with what i said, that to me is annoying

    she asked for opinions, i gave mine, some people agreed, some didnt, but to pick my post out of everyone elses seems a bit childish
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Littleali wrote:
    how am i naive? i`m 21, with 2 degrees, working, engaged, more or less running a house....
    all you need now is a baby lol

    Thats alot for a 21 y/o.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Littleali wrote:
    my point is....why would u pretend to be asleep if you wanted it? why wouldnt you at least make him aware you were awake?
    why wouldnt you make an effort and join in if you were horny?

    Because she said she enjoyed it more pretending to be asleep... :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    HIT wrote:
    all you need now is a baby lol

    Thats alot for a 21 y/o.
    tell me about it haha
    the baby can wait though..... :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JamesZero wrote:
    Because she said she enjoyed it more pretending to be asleep... :thumb:
    fair enough

    but she asked for opinions, i gave mine and i dont appreciate being insulted for it :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Littleali wrote:
    fair enough

    but she asked for opinions, i gave mine and i dont appreciate being insulted for it :thumb:

    I know, I wasnt getting involved... just making a point :thumb:

    (whats with all the thumbs up!? lol)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JamesZero wrote:
    I know, I wasnt getting involved... just making a point :thumb:

    (whats with all the thumbs up!? lol)
    i dont know :thumb:

    haha x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kathryn wrote:
    err...how can you have two degrees by 21?

    err...i have a foundaton degree and a bachelors degree
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kathryn wrote:
    Oh right, I thought that when it's converted to a Bachelors it kinda replaces the foundation?
    i have 2 certificates and they are in different subjects
    one n ICT and E-business and one in information systems
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Littleali wrote:
    i have 2 certificates and they are in different subjects
    one n ICT and E-business and one in information systems
    Ok no one likes a smart arse. :D
  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Posts: 9,236
    Ok...

    Back on topic.

    I pretty much agree with:
    sophia wrote:
    If it turns you on and you're enjoying it then fair enough, and if he somehow knows that you're not really asleep and it's some sort of role play game that you both enjoy (even if you don't talk about it openly) then great. But, if he genuinenly believes you're asleep and is having sex with you anyway then I'm inclined to agree with Yerascrote. No one is just automatically entitled to have sex with their partner, consent can't be assumed, you need it every single time, and if he's having sex with you thinking you're asleep and haven't agreed to it is very, very dodgy to my mind.

    What I'd be asking myself is... that first time it happened, when you said you were pretending to be asleep and waiting to see how far it would go - how did you feel about it? It sounds like you're pretty happy with how things are now, but it's important, in any sexual relationship to make your boundaries clear so that neither person feels in anyway violated by the other. In that first instance, it sounds like it was ok in the end, but the outcome could have been really bad. All the best ;)

    btw - littleali - I think the reason that people pin-pointed your posts over others is that you didn't seem to take into account the progression of the OPs experience and feelings. While many people agree in the first instance that the boyfriends actions were questionable, there certainly seems to be evidence of a mutual understanding about each other's sexual needs and desires since. There wasn't anything to suggest that pretending to be asleep would make her boyfriend feel undesirable - in fact the opposite effect was implied. However, there's a difference between challenging someone's view and being out of order - insults= crap discussion. So leave it out guys.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Isn't it just the same as when a girl has sex with a lad (i think they call it 'morning glory'?) when he's asleep?

    fair enough i would've thought he would've spoken to her about it first... but if there's pleasure and your both ok with it then why not?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Allow me to give an alternate viewpoint. I am a guy, and I do this almost nightly to an extent. We sleep in the spooning position and sometime during the night I either begin touching or caressing her. Sometimes I'm in the middle of a dream, sometimes I am wide awake and wishing she would wake up so i could go further. It has led to her waking and us having sex about 75% of the time, but sometimes she just sleeps and I give up and go for a walk. I'm not sure if there is anything wrong with it, I love her and I'm always horny...even during the day I'm trying to have sex. My problem is...she's sleeping at night and i can't stop myself from trying to "pleasure" her into waking up. I feel wrong and it seems like molestation or something...and she doesn't say she no or stop when she does wake up. I almost agree with the borderline rape thing, but that would make me a rapist...and that's scary. BTW, I never penetrate if she doesn't wake up...so hopefully I'm good on that part, but what should "I" do? Start sleeping on the couch?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kate1 wrote:
    Me and my ex used to do that quite a bit. In the early hours of the morning. It was a great start to the day, as you'd wake up thinking "Now, did I have great sex during the night, or was it just a dream" :D
    Haha that's exactly the same as me and my gf! One person half wakes up feeling a bit randy during the night, half wakes the other up, have sex then straight back to sleep :angel:

    Few hours later and one asks "did we have sex last night?" :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Me and the boy often get frisky at 4 in the morning when I get woken up by something pushing at me kinda urgently. I think it's the best kind of sex! You're both cuddled up and sleepy and warm and horny, it's lovely! But as for pretending to be asleep, i don't think it's weird if you both enjoy it. Crack on! ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Haha that's exactly the same as me and my gf! One person half wakes up feeling a bit randy during the night, half wakes the other up, have sex then straight back to sleep :angel:

    Few hours later and one asks "did we have sex last night?" :D

    Absolutely. I've had some of my most emotionally satisfying sex that way :)
2
This discussion has been closed.