If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
What would you do?
BillieTheBot
Posts: 8,735 Bot
Well, silly season continues. That month when there's apparently no real news to report. So, along comes another Stargalaxy Silly Season thread for your amusement and bemusement. In part one, you were requested to choose your own cabinet. Various members put me in charge of Culture, Defence, International Development and Transport. Eat your heart out, John Reid.
Inspired by the Dave The Chameleon website that Labour have set up to show how Dave Cameron's views have suddenly "changed" over time, comes thread numero deux. Imagine that you are the leader of your own political party. You can even give your party a name if you like. You were campaigning hard to win a General Election. What would you put in your manifesto? What would you do on winning the levers of power?
- Sack anyone employed in the public sector as a smoking cessation officer, five-a-day co-ordinator, or any of the other non-jobs advertised in The Guardian every week.
- Introduce laws that prevent screaming kids from being allowed into shops to ask how much every bloody product in the shop costs. Instead, anyone under the age of 12 will be tied to a lampost like a dog until their folks come back out again.
- Immediate legalisation of shooting alleys and of harder drugs. A tax will be introduced on such products, much in the same form as on cigarettes and alcohol. Taxes on these products would remain, but might be lowered in future.
- The immediate deportation of John Prescott. Street parades would take place across London, Manchester, Edinburgh and any other city that wanted them to celebrate the event.
- A considerable increase in government spending on greener sources of energy in an attempt to bring down the nation's dependence on fossil fuels, which could be depleted one day.
- All taxes on condoms and sex toys to be abolished. Greater investment in sexual health provision to deal with STDs. The school sex education brief to be taken out of politicians hands, and handed to an impartial charity that knows what it's talking about. (one particular name springs to mind...)
- The immediate deportation of Davina McCall. Never again will the British nation have to suffer another series of Big Brother with her incessant shouting and showing off. Dermot O'Leary to be promoted to head the main show, with the ITV Digital monkey to host BBLB. Well, he needs a job...
It's a work in progress, as you can see. What's in your manifesto?
Inspired by the Dave The Chameleon website that Labour have set up to show how Dave Cameron's views have suddenly "changed" over time, comes thread numero deux. Imagine that you are the leader of your own political party. You can even give your party a name if you like. You were campaigning hard to win a General Election. What would you put in your manifesto? What would you do on winning the levers of power?
- Sack anyone employed in the public sector as a smoking cessation officer, five-a-day co-ordinator, or any of the other non-jobs advertised in The Guardian every week.
- Introduce laws that prevent screaming kids from being allowed into shops to ask how much every bloody product in the shop costs. Instead, anyone under the age of 12 will be tied to a lampost like a dog until their folks come back out again.
- Immediate legalisation of shooting alleys and of harder drugs. A tax will be introduced on such products, much in the same form as on cigarettes and alcohol. Taxes on these products would remain, but might be lowered in future.
- The immediate deportation of John Prescott. Street parades would take place across London, Manchester, Edinburgh and any other city that wanted them to celebrate the event.
- A considerable increase in government spending on greener sources of energy in an attempt to bring down the nation's dependence on fossil fuels, which could be depleted one day.
- All taxes on condoms and sex toys to be abolished. Greater investment in sexual health provision to deal with STDs. The school sex education brief to be taken out of politicians hands, and handed to an impartial charity that knows what it's talking about. (one particular name springs to mind...)
- The immediate deportation of Davina McCall. Never again will the British nation have to suffer another series of Big Brother with her incessant shouting and showing off. Dermot O'Leary to be promoted to head the main show, with the ITV Digital monkey to host BBLB. Well, he needs a job...
It's a work in progress, as you can see. What's in your manifesto?
Beep boop. I'm a bot.
0
Comments
- State ownership of all public services. Slow but safe and steady privatisation of all companies shall be implemented too. Anything too rapid may have a detrimental effect. Sucessful company bosses can keep thier jobs, they have the skill - unsucessful ones shall not be allowed to continue.
- Removal of Comercial TV. Fuck me, adverts piss me off, Same with Radio.
- Police to be given more powers - zero tolerance on Anti-Social behaviour, please. Magistrates executed, decent sentencing bought back. More jails please, overcrowding is a shitty problem. Murders shall get life, it shall mean life. Paedophiles institutionalised and studied, like any mental illness. Bringing back Assylums - Care in the Community doesn't seem to be working too well.
- Legalise the Weed. And alot of other drugs, I think. Control the supply, less dodgey shit on the streets, easier to tread people with a problem - after a while, and the initial controversy dies - people with problems will come forward, and not be afraid of arrest.
- Speed Cameras shall be replaced with police patrols. Yes, at last.
- Integrate furthur with the EU. Remove country from USA.
- Try to balance wages out to a standard average. No-one shall have obscene amounts of cash, no one shall be extremley poor. Variation will still exist, but far less.
- State help for our athletes.
- Benefits system needs MAJOR reworking.
- Right. Scroungers who have no intention of finding work without a legitimate reason, physical or mental, shall be given acceptable deadlines. These shall be met, or you shall be kicked out of the country. Thank you. The benefits are not for the likes of these people. They are for people who either cannot get work, or are temporarily unemployed.
- Immigration - yes, if you check out, we need your skills, or you are seeking refuge, welcome. You shall be allowed to work straight off, as soon as you arrive. If you have no intention of earning your keep, please, don't bother coming here.
- War on Terror - Troops will pull right out of Iraq, and try to finish the job in Afghanistan. If the job proves unfinishable, we shall leave. No point in extra deaths that achieve little. I think we stand a chance there, though.
- War in general - We intend to liberate Texas from the rest of the USA, due to its large oil supply. I mean, the persecution of the other states, calling its citizens rude names like "Rednecks" or "Yokels" or "Hicks". It may also poses WMD's.
- As above with Alaska.
I might add more later.
I ran into a New Yorker in a hostel last time I was in Germany. He was stopping off at the UK next & asked how come we didn't have the euro yet. The best answer I could come up with was "Because our government suck...?".
Only on the condition that the Jobcentres gave genuine help. I've been unemployed for years now, with occasional bouts of temporary employment so I've seen what their idea of 'help' is. Either they do nothing at all, or they push you into doing something that will not work for your situation (jobsearch help when it's FINDING a job that's the problem, not searching, help on how to write a CV when you have one already but it's just there isn't much on it, insisting you take a course showing you how to be more confident, even if you have confidence in bucketloads & the problem is more likely to be - oh, I dunno - the high local unemployment rates maybe? I could go on).
Also they should allow explanations before cutting you off. Last year I got cut off because I left town for a few days (yeah I know you're supposed to tell them, but it was only a few days, & my mobile is my promary phone number so it wasn't like they couldn't get hold of me). I arrived home on Thursday evening to find a letter telling me I'd had an appointment on Wednesday afternoon, which judging by the postmark had only arrived on Monday. The next letter I open tells me my JSA is being cut off. The appointment was Wednesday afternoon, I arrived back Thursday evening so the letter must have arrived Thursday morning, which meant it must have been sent off right after the appointment. No attempt to contact me to find out why I hadn't shown (either a phone call saying 'where the feck are you?' or a letter telling me to get my arse there or get no money). For all they knew I might have had a family crisis & be at the bedside of my dying grandmother or something. As it was, I was at a university open day, so not exactly totally unrelated to improving my employment situation. The real kicker was the next letter after that which I opened was from the housing & council tax office, saying 'When you were on low income we helped you cover your rent & council tax, but now you're on NO INCOME WHATSOEVER you don't get a penny from us.' It took over a month to get the whole situation sorted out, during which time I had only a few quid with which to buy food & the only reason I didn't get evicted is because my housemates understood the situation.
Kinda long, but a reason why the bastards shouldn't just be given sweeping powers.
-Retain FPTP for elections to the Commons. Repeal Parliament Act, giving Lords and Commons equal legislative powers.
-Introduce a written constitution affirming these changes, require a 3/4 majority in Lords and Commons to amend Constitution. Introduce Supreme Court to look after constitutional affairs, Supreme Court justices to be appointed by PM and confirmed by simple majority in Lords and Commons. Freedom of speech to be guaranteed in codified constitution.
-Immediately withdraw from the EU. Use the £25 million we pay each day into the EU to fund more prisons, more police officers and an expansion in the armed forces.
-Reform welfare along similar lines to Bill Clinton’s reforms in the USA. The present welfare system discourages initiative and is partly to blame for the decline in social mobility.
-Distance Britain politically and diplomatically from Europe and develop closer relations with traditional Anglosphere allies; namely the USA, Canada and Australia.
-Lengthen prison sentences, scrap early release and ensure that a life sentence is a life sentence.
-Cut crime by jailing career criminals for life without parole protecting the decent law abiding majority.
-Privatise the Royal Mail.
-Privatise the NHS and reform the entire system so the patient pays 1/3 of the cost of treatment, the government 1/3 and private insurance 1/3.
-Massively invest in the railways and in London, the tube. Develop and invest in public transport in other UK cities.
-Cut taxes for individuals. Cut taxes for businesses to make Britain more attractive and create new jobs. Reform and reduce size of Civil Service.
-Abolish Foreign Office in present state and start again from scratch with appointments made by PM.
- Renationalise the railways, coupled with big investment
- Ditto water companies
- Impose windfall taxes on other private businesses offering vital services or goods, such as oil and energy suppliers
- Get rid of every last PFI and rid the health and education systems of private hands
Social/Education
- Removal of faith schools
- Removal of religious education at all State schools
- Removal of blasphemy and obscenity legislation
- Decriminalisation of all recreational drugs. Creation of government-licensed shops to sell drugs.
- Introduction of full gay marriage and full adoption rights for same-sex couples. Granting of full rights to cohabitating couples.
Economy
- An extra 10p income tax on the Pound on amounts over 100k a year
- Make the utmost effort to close every last loophole that allows rich individuals and companies to dodge paying taxes. Also target any individuals and businesses (case study: Rupert Murdoch/News International) who conduct hundreds of millions of Pounds of business in this country and yet pay next to nothing through dodgy schemes
Foreign policy
- A completely new approach to relations with the USA- namely one that doesn't involve lowering our trousers in front of Uncle Sam and doing as we're told
- Stop all arms sales to all unpleasant regimes
- Work for peace in the Middle East by lobbying for the one thing that needs to be done above all others: the full withdrawal of Israel from occupied Palestine in return for a full halt to hostilities
- Start pretending we care about Europe and working to protect our interests in the EU, instead of continuing not to care and then complain when Germany and France get favoured in deals and treaties
- When/if economic conditions are right, join the Euro
Executive, Legislature and Judiciary
- Fully elected House of Lords
- Introduction of PR
- Referendum on ditching the monarchy and becoming a Republic
- Ensuring Trial by Jury remains in the judiciary system
Others
- Redefine privacy and libel laws to redress balance of power between tabloid newspapers and private individuals
Did I miss anything?
- Abolish Democracy.
Aye, I'd provide alot of help for folk finding a job - I know how annoying and hard it is. I'd alos bring back worker and union power against employers - the workers deserve thier rights, and some power over thier bosses. After all, without workers, the boss is nothing. They should realise this before giving employees 20,000 sheet of paperwork to do at home. Home time = free time. Office time = work time.
Job Centres appear to be of little use ATM. Unless you want a part-time job.
I thought it already was? Or at secondary school it is from Years 7-9.
But won't that mean some people will just go to uni to avoid paying taxes? (I think Kermit or someone mentioned a while back that this is one of the reasons for student loans/paying for higher education)
Any reason why?
Anyway, what I'd like to do:
- Scrap tution fees (yes, I know it contradicts what I said earlier about people going to uni just to stop paying taxes)
- Sort out the benifits system
- deport illegal immigrants
- scrap the new postal prices
I don't object them to learn a history of the world religions and the impact they have had in shaping human history. But there is no place for organised religion in the education system IMO- certainly in State one. And then I'd ultimately like see no child being taught any religion as fact, be at home or at school.
We learnt about world religions from years 7-9. In years 10 & 11, we were given a subject/mobule (for example, drugs) and were taught 3 maybe 4 religious views of that.
I would swear -- by my life and my love of it -- that I will never live for the sake of another (wo)man, nor ask another (wo)man to live for mine.
give them the one thing they most need! (excluding cash!)
me a herd of goats, you?
easy that would make my life complete
Remove any pretty pointless legislation, such as the requirement that all shops have to use metric measurements, and drinks in pubs have to legally be served in a certain measure, and let the consumer decide what they want.
Legalise all drugs, of course, and use the tax from them to fund drug rehabilitation centres (plus probably a million other things considering the amount you'd probably get).
Remove public funding for faith schools, but of course, make sure that all of the major faiths in this country are represented in RE classes.
Put as much money into researching alternative fuel sources as currently goes into nuclear.
Greatly improve sex education in schools, using the same methods they use in Holland and other European countries.
Still undecided on gun legislation, which is an utter cock-up in America by all accounts (though they do have less burglaries) but works very well in Switzerland. I'd have to see what it is about that system that makes it work before I decided, but I'd like to have more emphasis on people protecting themselves, rather than calling the police and them coming round an hour later.
Plus a load of other stuff I haven't decided on. It's not often I have this much power, it'll take me a while.
So you and Blagsta agree on something
- Deport most illegal immigrants, bogus asylum seekers and any hate filled preachers who hate this country but like our benefit system.
- Ban all religious items (such as Islamic headscarf, crucifixes etc) in state buildings such as hospitals and schools but introduce prayer rooms etc.
- Become more secular, separate the state from religion (hey there’s one thing I agree with the French on!)
- Continue the relationship with the United States – our most important partner in terms of economic trade, defence and friendship alike.
- Adopt a policy to never join the Euro or enter a federal Europe. Only keep economic, free trade ties with our European neighbours.
- As for foreign policy support the war on terror, stay in Iraq, basically keep the way it is now.
- Keep local government local, keep out White hall! Examine how unitary governments are doing, if no improvements have been seen then merge the councils into a county council.
- Zero tolerance approach to thugs and criminals. Bring back some sort of discipline in schools. Harsher sentences for rapists, murderers etc. Introduce a life sentence that actually means life. Make prison tougher for our inmates. I mean no TV’s etc in their room, only in a common room. Anyone caught taking drugs will have their sentence expanded, this expansion will be sued to take them into rehab. Educate pour prisoners; make them a person they aspire to be. Adopt a culture that prison does work.
- Anti drug policy. Criminalise cannabis to grade B drug. If you’re found in procession of the drug then you’re breaking the law, a fine will be given. If you’re caught selling it, prison sentence.
- More public holidays where the country can come together. All national holidays for the 4 countries of the UK shall become public holidays.
- Fully legalise gay marriage and adoption rights.
- Adopt a policy where it is better to go to work than to scrounge off benefits. Those who are on benefits who have no choice will be more respected this way. Check every single incapacity claimant every two years. Teenagers who refuse to work will be put in boot camp.
- Destroy the 50% target of teenagers in university. Those who have the ability to go regardless of a quota. I do believe we need higher standards though, especially in English and Maths. Make foreign languages compulsory again.
- Repeal the Human Rights act.
- A better NHS that is value for money. Cut admin staff and increase front line staff. If you NHS can’t provide the operation in 3 months then the government pays the patient to go private. Involve the private sector more in the NHS. Merely to help with the waiting lists. The NHS should not be used for profit making. Health is more important than money.
- As for tax lower the rate of income tax. Create incentives to actually work. If you earn more you get to keep more. Government spending should be limited and put to good use.
- R.E lessons should be compulsory to allow children to learn about ach others religions. Atheism should be included and hold equal weight. One hour a week would be enough. GCSE R.E compulsory.
I think that’s it for now! Anyone want to vote for me ?
Why? So you'd ban Christianity stuff even though we live in a Christian country?
We already have dentention, isolation & suspension. What more do you want?
That's a bit harsh. Do you really know how hard it is to get a Saturday job?
However, I have some concerns. You talk about us never entering a federal Europe. Hasn't this process already started? Next, I'm not quite sure what you mean by bringing discipline back into schools. Do you mean bringing back the birch? And why, oh why, do we need more public holidays? What's the point of these, other than to waste time watching James Bond films? On balance, I would consider voting for you, yes.
I'm a believer in low taxation and small government. Frankly, the government should keep its distance from citizens, its interference in our lives should be minimal. That doesn't mean get rid of the welfare state - that must remain, albeit in some other form. I would start a "bonfire" on pointless laws that interfere with our lives. I reckon the voluntary sector can do some things far better than the government ever could. Government gives some funding to them, and then charities do the job. I know of one particular charity which could take over sex education in schools, for example...
The current system is failing as there is no respect for education or in the class room.
No you've misunderstood me. I meant, those who have left school, think they can sit on their arses all day can think again!
But I do think entry requirements for university should be more tough.
Yes true. I'd roll back some E.U legislation, I would then prevent anymore.
I wouldn't say bring back the cain but I'd install some respect for education and discipline. School should be about education as well as having fun.
I would bring parents into this too. I mean, if a child misbehaves, the parent will have to sit with the child in the classroom. I'm sure they will get the emssage then. If the parent refuses? Fine them.
Because we work too much. I did specifically mention national public holidays, to help bring more pride into the country.
That's promising. Thanks
you aint old enough to remembver hospitals with rain pouring through the rooves.
most people are actualy do a lot better now than they ever could have hoped for when the boom and bust party ran things.
there are of course many things wrong but please ...take a look around at what you have.