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New abortion rules

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Anti-abortion campaigners have condemned new guidelines which confirm doctors can help girls under 16 to have an abortion without involving parents.

Here

What do you think? I can't make up my mind.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sadly it depends on the kind of parents the girl has. Some parents scare their kids by saying things like 'I'd chuck you out if you ever got pregnant' whereas others wouldn't be pleased but would be supportive. Hmm, like Shelly I'm undecided.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The new guidelines seem pretty much fair enough to me- if the kid doesn't want the parents to know, the parents don't get told. It's how it should be.

    Mind, I think anti-abortion campaigners should be aborted.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kermit
    The new guidelines seem pretty much fair enough to me- if the kid doesn't want the parents to know, the parents don't get told. It's how it should be.

    i agree.

    i don't see how abortion is any different to any other medical procedure. confidentiality is confidentiality.

    in fact i think it's vital for some girls to know they have a place to go to get help that's totally confidential. i think forcing underage girls to involve parents could have tragic consequences.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by kaffrin
    forcing underage girls to involve parents could have tragic consequences.

    Forcing anybody into the underground is dangerous.

    The thing is, anti-abortion campaigners would quite happily see girls be forced back to the backstreet places, where the height of medical science would be a bent coathanger. Just like it was in the 1960s.

    I also say that if men got pregnant abortion would be a great gift from God :yeees:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BumbleBee
    Some parents scare their kids by saying things like 'I'd chuck you out if you ever got pregnant'

    Yeah but many parents wouldnt do that in reality. What we say and what we do are two totally different things.

    Im unsure on this one. you see after an abortion it can be a stressful time, people think because you have had an abortion you are a heartless cow, but in reality its quite the opposite so some girls could be quite distressed after having it.
    I dunno :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think it's right and agree totally that confidentiality shouldn't apply to some procedures and not others.

    I do think it's so important that they're still given all the options and all the support they need, as I think a lot may think that now they have this option (and the option to do it secretly) it's the only (and always the best) thing to do.

    As BeckyBoo said, a lot of parents wouldn't react as badly as they or their child claim they would, before actually experiencing it. Therefore they should maybe be encouraged to tell their parents, even though they legally don't have to, especially if they're very young.

    I don't know :confused: It's a tricky one...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The trouble is BeckyBoo, if a girl is distresed after it the last thing she needs is her mum or dad hitting the roof about it and kicking her out. A lot of parents would (they deserve a thorough goiong-over with studded baseball bats, but hey) so really it has to be up to the child.

    Going behind the child's back is far more damaging, really.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kermit
    The trouble is BeckyBoo, if a girl is distresed after it the last thing she needs is her mum or dad hitting the roof about it and kicking her out.

    When I first fell pregnant at 17 yrs old i was shitting myself, I didnt dare tell my parents......it was my sister who told them. I thought they would hit the roof........they didnt.
    So how many other teenagers feel this way ? we all think our parents are gonna hit the roof but they dont always do what we think.
    I know some parents would lose their rag but the majority its just a pure shock and yes we would probs be annoyed when we were first told but once we got used to the idea then we wouldnt be as bad as people make out.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    NO, but it's the minority that have to be protected.

    It's hard for good parents to see it, but a lot of parents (especially fathers) would sling a pregnant girl out on the street.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kermit
    NO, but it's the minority that have to be protected.

    It's hard for good parents to see it, but a lot of parents (especially fathers) would sling a pregnant girl out on the street.

    buyt were in dfferent years now..go back 10/15 years then maybe but now ? Im not so sure, parents are a lot more open minded.

    I will talk whne im sober...yeah :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BeckyBoo
    buyt were in dfferent years now..go back 10/15 years then maybe but now ? Im not so sure, parents are a lot more open minded.

    I wish I could agree, I really do. BUt I know that it's not the case.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kermit
    I wish I could agree, I really do. BUt I know that it's not the case.

    So im in a minority ?

    Obviously our Becks is my baby but shes gonna grow and she's gonna become a young woman.....Id hope that i can accept anythin that comes my way as she grows into a young woman......long as she isnt 14/15 :)
    but even then, we would cross that bridge.......Id never disown her.....even though she may think we do.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think the article is fair enough. If I had become pregnant when I was under 16, I know my parents would have gone mental. I wouldn't see the point in telling them so I would have taken advantage of the legislation.

    My parents (mum especially) hit the roof when I got pregnant at 19. Even though I had my own flat, respectable job, car and partner, I was sent to coventry and basically told to stay away until my son was born, none of my other family were told. My son was born a month after my 20th birthday. I really dread to think what would have happened if I had been very young and still living at home. I think the legislation serves to protect young women with parents like mine!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i don't see how abortion is any different to any other medical procedure. confidentiality is confidentiality.
    :yes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sexual advice should always be confidential and anything that reduces teenage pregnancy should be welcomed, but not enough is being done about STD's.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BeckyBoo
    So im in a minority ?

    No, decent parents who would be fcaring and understanding are very much in the majority. But not all parents are decent.

    The advice is to protect all, especially the vulnerable whose parents WOULD disown them if they fell pregnant. IF the girl's parents are open and understanding most of the time the girl would tell. But even if the girl doesn't tell it is her choice to make.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I personally disagree.

    I believe keeping something big like this from their parents at such a young age is giving them too much responsibilty. They will be pressured to having abortions now as they feel that is the easy way out in not having to tell their parents about their pregnancy.
    At such a young age a child cannot go through such life-changing experience without the support of their family. I mean I cannot imagine a 14year old going for an abortion with her doctor then come back home like nothing happened. Keeping something like that to themselves would cause more damage.

    I've been there thinking my mum and dad would disown me if they ever found out and when I had no choice but to tell my mum, of course she was shocked, disappointed BUT she still give me the support I needed and asked me what I wanted. It was my choice to have the abortion even though my mum assured me she would help me if I wanted to keep the baby. I have no regrets. But we can't guaranntee that for the others who are pressured to have abortions just so they don't have to tell their parents.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I totally agree with the guidelines, if a girl needs the confidentiality then she should have it. The fact she's under 16 shouldn't make a difference. People need to think of the girls who have parents that are abusive, neglectful or just completely ignorant and I think there are more of these parents out there than we'd like to think.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Madgal99
    I totally agree with the guidelines, if a girl needs the confidentiality then she should have it. The fact she's under 16 shouldn't make a difference.

    Nah, sure the only difference is it is a child we are talking about. Illegal to have sex if she is under 16, yet ok to have an abortion behind their parents' back. Am I the only one, seeing something wrong with this picture. It is illegal to have sex under 16 for a reason. It's bad enough they already go against that but to give them the opportunity to have an abortion without their parents' consent is a joke.
    Can people not see that kids will just use this as an easy way out, so they won't be as careful to not get pregnant in the first place as they'll just think all they have to do is pop over to their docs and no worries, they'll sort it out. Trying to act all grown up when they shouldn't be given the opportunity to make rash decisions like that without have their family to guide them.

    People need to think of the girls who have parents that are abusive, neglectful or just completely ignorant and I think there are more of these parents out there than we'd like to think.

    Absolutely; we need to be aware of those kind of people - but not all parents are like that. As someone has already said, due to the amount of teen pregnancies, parents are learning to except those kind of consequences.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Such a big debate over it this isnt there, Confidentiality is a big thing, but i dunno, something tells me that the parents should know. Im against abortion at the best of times ( and yes i do realise there are sometimes things like rape to take into consideration) bit in all honesty parents should have a say in the matter. Girls under 16 shouldnt be having sex anyway ( thought they do of course!).
    Absolutely; we need to be aware of those kind of people - but not all parents are like that. As someone has already said, due to the amount of teen pregnancies, parents are learning to except those kind of consequences.

    I agree with this. I too do feel parents are having to be more understanding with their kids than ever before.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A child should not need parental consent to have an operation performed on her (or indeed him). It is regrettable that children are having sex but if they are having sex then they need protection. And these guidelines offer protection.

    The guidelines are that a child should always be strongly encouraged to confide in family or friends, but that if she doesn't want to then it is not something that wil baulk an abortion.

    Personally I feel that a child's sex life, and the issues surrounding it, are for the child alone to decide who should be told. Foricing people away from the help they need forces them into the arms of those who do not have their best interests at heart- either backstreet abortion doctors, or effectively being forced to have a child against their will.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Richeh
    Im against abortion at the best of times ( and yes i do realise there are sometimes things like rape to take into consideration)

    Or failed contraception. Or...

    Men who are against abortions have no right to voice their opinion.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The point is they are a child. If they fail to use protection properly and are not mature enough to confront their parents about their pregnancy, then I don't believe they are old enough to make such rash decisions like that on their own.

    There is many things a child shouldn't do under 16 because they are not old enough to to understand the consequences of their actions which is why they all have a legal guardian to help them face those situations together.

    Can anyone honestly say they would be fine if their daughter got pregnant under 16 and arranged a termination behind their back?

    I believe what they should do is still give the girl the choice in having an abortion if that is what she wishes to do, so long as her parents know - Ok, not necessarily to have their consent, just to make the parents aware of what's happeneing to their own daughter.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Cruel2BKind

    I believe what they should do is still give the girl the choice in having an abortion if that is what she wishes to do, so long as her parents know - Ok, not necessarily to have their consent, just to make the parents aware of what's happeneing to their own daughter.


    I agree with you there, that Makes sense to in my eyes.
    Men who are against abortions have no right to voice their opinion

    everybody has a right to to voice their opinion so get down off your pearch !

    Everyone is going to have an opinion on this but at the end of the day argueing about it on a forum like this is going to get you know where fast

    Simple fact is these kids shouldnt be having sex in the first place to be put in a position, they got themselves in in the first place, and then have to decide, do i tell my parents or have an abortion and dont say anything, that will stay in their memory for life it wont go away, I dont think they could possibly comprehand what they are doing, and arent looking ahead either at the age. They see it as a quick fix.

    And thats my opinion !
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I wouldn't be happy, but I'd be more sad that she felt she couldn't come and tell me than I would about her getting pregnant. Shit happens, and for all the arguments about "slack" children not using condoms, contraception fails. It's happened to me before.

    But the parents views are immaterial to those of the child. It is the child's body, and so it remains the child's decision. End of discussion.

    Fact is, a lot of parents WOULD throw a pregnant daughter out on the street, and the rules have to be there to prevent that happening. And to prevent parents from interfering with the child's decision, which is what happened in the case that has forced the isue of these guidelines.

    It's always ad, but when a kid is pregnant it isn't the time to be pontificating about the wrongs of the child in having sex. FYI< it was not illegal for a girl to have underage sex until very recently.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No, they shosuldn't be having sex. But they are doing- deal with it.

    And, to be quite honest, for a lot of women it IS just a quick fix. People try and insinuate that it is a terrible gut-wrenching decision to have to make, but for a lot of people it isn't. They don't want to be pregnant, take two pills and they aren't anymore. Some girls are affected terribly by it, and some aren't, that's life.

    And no, to be quite honest I don't think everybody has the right to an opinion on this. If you are male you have no right to dictate what women can do with their own bodies, it is a decision for women alone to make. I've said it before loads; if men fell pregnant abortion would be a wonderful gift from God.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It fills my heart with love and relief knowing children can lie and betray their parents' trust in them.

    I have never heard anyone capable of throwing their child out if they found out they got pregnant. If anyone can tell me other wise with proof from personal experience or from a friend you know. Please tell me.

    Yes you have made it clear, 'that's life'. Kids do unfortunately still have sex under 16 but why encourage it by giving them the chance to get it terminated whenever they feel they messed up and don't feel they want their parents to know so hey just run to the docs.

    I admit I haven't done any research but if for example a girl is foolish enough to get pregnant several times all being terminated... would that not cause any damage to their bodies, etc.

    And as a male yourself, you shouldn't be able to to speak for most girls in saying it isn't a big deal for most/some. Do you not think?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I refer you to the post by Joolyknockers.

    Giving them the option of having an abortion does not "encourage" sex and does not "encourage" risky sex. Talk to kids and they have sex because a) everyone else is (i.e. peer presure) and b) there's nowt else to do. They have risky sex because "it's more interesting and exciting". Banning abortions wouldn't solve this issue, and making them tell their parents wouldn't either.

    You forget, most doctors have practised these guidelines for a very long time. It is not a new issue, more a case of clarifying matters because of a recent case involving a fourteen-year-old.

    There is nothing about "betraying trust" that is relevant- child does something, doesn't want ma and pa to find out, they don't. It's how it should be. It isn't the parents problem.

    I refer to personal experience.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    And I refer to you with me own post and personal experience. At the moment kids have sex, 'sometimes down to peer pressure and curiousity'. Unprotected sex shows how young and irresponsilbe they are to be having sex in the first place never mind giving them the choice to do the deed and terminate it when it suits them behind their parents back.

    Of course it's all down to family values and trust. At a mature age, reachin 18 they have the mind and knowledge to think for themselves. Even then you'd still find an adult wanting support from family/friends. But a child who is still at school, soo niave and vulnerable, who shouldn't even be in that situation in the first place cannot expect to know what is best for them. These are kids that would rather sit at home, than go to school if they had the choice. Eat chunk food rather than a good home cooked meal if they had the choice. Stay out late and come back home when they feel like it would be a choice they would take. But they ain't given them because they are still children that still has alot of growing up to do.

    Once they get a hold of this information. I do believe they will take advantage of this and realise they won't have to be as careful in not getting pregnant as we have now given them a choice to get a 'quick fix' when they need it and whole time their parents won't have to know.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The only flaw in your otherwise excellent argument is that a) a lot of adults are the same and b) it is stupendously patronising.

    Thing you have to remember about surveys about underage sex is that a) kids lie to make themselves sound better and b) "girl of 15 has safe sex with loving boyfriend" isn't a very good headline.
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